Author's Note
If you're reading this, chances are that you have seen another Sonic-ified Top Gear here on . I have been inspired by this "Sonic Gear" to make up my own Top Gear. Since the real Top Gear's can be identified by their location (e.g. Top Gear UK, Top Gear USA, and Top Gear AU), I decided that the "unofficial" name of the series would be Top Gear Mobius. I give thanks to the original writer of Sonic Gear, GGsYoyo, for the inspiration. The original "Sonic Gear" featured actual videogame locations from the Sonic Games, but for my own convenience, I placed it in the real world. If I get enough views and likes, I may go for an episode 2, something other than what the pilot episode would contain, like maybe a more rugged challenge and more "stars". Enjoy :)
Top Gear Mobius Series 1 Premiere
The Top Gear UK theme of "Jessica" opens up the show. "I run on a track, Tails sits on a vegetable, Knuckles starts crying, and does the baddie really drive a bad car?" The ending of the opening scene opens to applause. A camera pans left and down from a television to Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles "Tails" Prower, and Knuckles the Echidna standing on a gear-shaped platform. "Hello and welcome to Top Gear! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog, that's Miles Prower (but please call him Tails), and that is Knuckles the Echidna," Sonic yelled out. "Okay, so what we do here is take out different cars, have possibly illogical arguments, find out what's the best car of the three, and do other challenges like our on-track car reviews, and our special "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car," Knuckles then said. "But first, we shall get on with our main challenge," Tails said. "We are going to take some high-class sports cars from all three different regions: North America, Europe, and Japan, and see which one is the best!"
The camera fades from black to reveal the streets of San Francisco—a time lapse of the Embarcadero. "San Francisco is the starting location of our challenge today," Sonic's over layered voice said. "Tails was the first to arrive." Another camera reveals a 2012 Lotus Exige S over by Twin Peaks. "As you can see, I've done this properly," Tails said, stepping out of the driver door. "It's the all-new 2012 Lotus Exige S. I chose the S model over the regular because of the extra power. Now, it does gain about 500 pounds in weight, but most of that comes from the engine. In short, it's fast, it's agile, and it's just plain fun." "I was the next to arrive," said Sonic. "What is that, Sonic? It's…a Subaru Impreza STi!" Tails exclaimed. "Yes it is Tails, and it's simply the best," Sonic said with glee. "How much does yours cost?" "$89,000," Tails said in a bit of shame. "Ha! Mine's only $35,000. Straight out, the Impreza's the best, and that's the end of it," Sonic laughed. Knuckles's background voice came in, "Those two could have bickered on until next week, but thanks to me, they could stop." Knuckles came up to Sonic and Tails in a 2012 Ford Mustang GT. "Are you kidding, Knux?! A Mustang?" Sonic laughed out. "I'm serious. This car is all about power. It doesn't care about what anybody else says about it. Tails, your Lotus is just a Toyota Camry with a smaller body fitted on it. Sonic, yours is just a touted up family hatchback. Now look at mine, simple elegance," Knuckles said. "No," replied Sonic and Tails in unison. Eventually, the producers gave the trio their challenge. "You must drive south 200 miles from here to Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca in Monterey. But first, you must drive east to an abandoned runway," Sonic read from the paper. The trio later left Twin Peaks to get to the runway.
"Let me give you a bit of information about the Lotus Exige S," said Tails, driving. "Now I know that the Exige gets its engine from a Toyota Camry V6, but with that, you don't just get speed, but you also get lightness and economy. The camera shows the Lotus from the front. "The extra 50 horsepower that you get from this engine comes from supercharging. Watch this," Tails said, looking at the interior camera. Another camera tracks the Lotus as it passes by the camera car in a soft whoosh. "See that? That's the nimble factor of the Lotus. When you have something that's super-light, then add a powerful engine, you just have absolute perfection." A third camera traces Sonic's Impreza. "First of all, it's blue, and that's what matters. The engine is a 2 liter boxer-4 engine, which lowers its center of gravity and gives it better handling. If you've seen Subaru's statistics, over 90% of their cars still run today. 90%! That means that you can expect to have monumental fun in this car, for decades to come! Whoo!" Sonic let the clutch of the Subaru slip for a second to hear the over rev of the boxer-4, resulting in a symphonic roar. "That's automotive perfection." Finally, Knuckles car, the Ford Mustang GT, came up to the camera. "When you have a classic that came from 50 years ago, refine it, and add more power, you get something like this, the Mustang GT. It has a 5 liter V8, and a 0-60 time of less than 5 seconds. Its competitor, the Chevrolet Camaro, does not come CLOSE to it. But now, I'm facing these two guys, and what I've got here is power. Glorious, glorious power."
"We arrived at the abandoned airbase to find it…abandoned," Sonic's disembodied voice said. The trio pulled their cars up to an area that was marked with cones. "I don't like this," Knuckles said out. "What's the problem, Knux? It's just a cone slalom course, where you have to weave in and out of the cones as quickly as possible," said Sonic. "Which is just what the Mustang can't do," Knuckles muttered to himself. "You know what, Sonic? You go first. I'd like to see how well your family wagon does." "Very well, I'll show you," Sonic replied, stepping into his Impreza. The Impreza lined up to the cones, and lunged forward. Left, right, left, right, went the Impreza. "I think—I think the only problem with the Impreza here is that it does tend to understeer a bit," Sonic yelled out over the screeching tires. Still, he managed a nicely done 71 mph. Tails went up next. "I feel quite confident with the Lotus here," he said gleefully. Like a fly, the Lotus darted left and right past the cones. "Think you'll be worried?" Sonic asked Knuckles. "Oh, no. Not at all," he replied nervously. Tails managed to fly by Sonic with an average speed of 73.5 mph. Knuckles went last. "Okay, viewers, I am totally not confident in myself or the car," he said, clutching the steering wheel. The Mustang took to the first cone alright, but started sliding going past the second one. "Oh—" Knuckles cried out. In shock, Sonic and Tails watched as the Mustang slid madly to the side, then whipping back around knocking over a set of cones before coming to a stop. The two literally started rolling on the floor laughing at Knuckles's failure.
Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were back on the Top Gear set, amidst applause. "We'll get back to that in a bit," said Sonic. "But now, we are going to be looking at a car that probably all of us hate: Eggman's cruiser. Since Eggman is a bad guy and isn't willing to share any of his equipment with us, this is a spec-replica; accurate except to the point of rockets, because we don't want to kill anyone."
The camera fades from black to the empty Top Gear test track. "Okay, so its opening won't be that epic," said Sonic's disembodied voice. Eggmans's cruiser passed by a stationary camera slowly, with Sonic at the wheel. "Okay, so this is what Eggman drives. It's what he used against me in the All-Star Grand Prix. Now the only thing I can't find is how to make this thing go fast…" He randomly pressed a button on the steering wheel, which made a loud racket and lunged the vehicle forward. "Okay, I think I've found it. It has six wheels, an open-top dome shaped body with his hideous face on it, and a monumentally loud engine," Sonic exclaimed. "Turning is absolutely terrible. Every single shift of the wheel makes the vehicle want to tip over and kill me." Sonic's disembodied voice came again, "Eventually, I became tired of Eggman's cruiser, and decided to go for something that just might be more lethal itself…" The camera suddenly switches to the back rear wheel of a drifting supercar. A second camera pans around the car to reveal it to be the Lamborghini. "Now THIS is a baddie car," Sonic exclaimed. "It's the all-new Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. It has a 5.2 liter V10 putting out 552 horsepower. 552! 0-60 leisurely comes in 3.2 seconds, and it's just plain amazing!" The Gallardo zoomed past the camera car. "In fact, this new Gallardo has even more power than last generation's Superleggera! Wow!" The camera panned around the interior. "With a Lamborghini like this, you get comfortable Alcantara leather seats, a nicely done dashboard, and paddle shifters. I think the only problem here is that because of the paddle shifters, it makes it a bit annoying to park. Lamborghini does offer you a stick-shift manual that puts a clutch pedal where your left foot would be, and that's annoying all the time." The camera pans out to do a 360 around the car. "But, what makes all the difference is when you press that pedal on the right all the way to the floor." The Gallardo suddenly started bellowing a melodic tune as it shifted up to third gear. "That sound makes all the difference. If this car were against me, I'd be terrified." The camera finally goes to a three-quarter shot of the Gallardo, tracking it until it accelerates in a cloud of V10 smoke out of sight.
Applause is heard back in the studio with Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles. "Okay, Sonic. So you have endorsed a product that you think Eggman will like?" Knuckles asked Sonic. "Yes, I have," Sonic replied. "Well isn't that great, because now we're going to have a bunch of armed Lamborghinis coming after us once the show is over," Knuckles said disdainfully. "That doesn't matter right now," Sonic retorted, "because now we are going to see how fast this car will go around our Test Track, and to do that, we need to hand it over to our tame racing driver. Some say that the last time he tried to shake someone's hand, he shocked that person's hand, and that he was turned down for the television series "I'm a Celebrity" because people have heard of him. All we know is, he's called the Stig!"
The next shot shows the Stig in a green Lamborghini Gallardo, ready to take off. "Now for convenience purposes, we have built the track similarly to Top Gear UK's track," said Sonic. The Gallardo took off for the first corner. "He's squealing under hard braking, but look at that composure, it just slides through!" The camera revealed the interior with the Stig in it, playing some music. "Looks like Stiggy's taken an interest in Samba de Amigo! Now into Chicago, no understeer there, just gliding through. Down into Hammerhead. Will the Gallardo's four-wheel drive get the best of it in this sweeper?" The Gallardo smoothly went left, then right to the end of the turn. "Not a bit. Now at the Follow-through." The Gallardo roared past the camera going towards the tires, zooming past so much that it shook the camera. "By golly, now THAT'S speed! Let's see the Penultimate corner. That's nicely done, too. Here comes Gambon, nice and composed, and across the line!" The audience applauded as the camera returned back to the Top Gear set. "Now, the Stig finished the lap in 1 minute…19 seconds…point 9! That's impressive! Let's see how long that will hold up!" Sonic exclaimed.
Knuckles came onto the set. "For our Star in a Reasonably Priced Car segment, we have a very special guest for you. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Shadow the Hedgehog!" Shadow stepped out the crowed and took a seat on one of the car bench seat on the platform. Knuckles took the single car seat.
"You're looking much happier than usual, Shadow," Knuckles said.
"Thank you, Knuckles. I prefer to keep a high reputation on TV. Anywhere else, though, maybe not," the black hedgehog replied.
"I see, Shadow, but please remember that this is a clean show, so please…keep it that way."
"Of course. I did say I want to keep up TV appearances, right?"
"Yeah. So here's my first question for you. I'd ask you what your first car was, but you don't have one."
"That's right. I have a custom-made motorcycle made just for me. I don't always use it in missions, although I do enjoy a joyride every now and then."
"Would you say that your custom motorcycle is better than, say, a Vincent Black Shadow?"
"Well, I know that the Vincent Black Shadow is an iconic vehicle. My bike may be better than it performance-wise, but I cannot argue with the history and nostalgia of the Black Shadow."
"Would you ever trade your bike for something safer for say, a Ford Mustang GT? I've heard from motorcycle statistics that they are much more dangerous to ride than driving a car, and that the death rate is higher."
"Death, Knuckles? Really? I am the Ultimate Lifeform. I can't die. As for "danger," I savor the challenge. I might not go for a Mustang GT, but maybe the last generation Dodge Viper SRT10."
"Why not go for the 2013 SRT Viper GTS? It has more power."
"The GTS Viper may have more power, but unlike the 2006 SRT10 Viper, the GTS is required by law to have stability control to make it more safer. Anything made to be safe isn't fit for me. I'll only take the 2006 Viper."
"Wow, I never knew that Shadow. Since you like fast, dangerous cars, may I recommend to you the Hennessey Venom GT?"
"Anything challenging, I'll take."
"Okay, it looks like it's time for everyone to see your lap. Would everyone like to see Shadow's lap?" Knuckles asked the audience. The audience roared with a unanimous "Yes!" "Alright then, play the tape!" announced Knuckles.
The camera revealed a hip, red Hyundai Veloster with Shadow at the wheel. "Let's do this," he said, looking out the driver window. The Veloster started off for the first corner. Immediately, it started to understeer. "Hmm, looks like you took that corner a little too fast, Shadow. How are you in Chicago?" The Veloster understeered again beyond the white lines. "Where are you going, man?" Knuckles exclaimed. Down into Hammerhead, Shadow ran into some problems again. "Hard braking there, keep the car steady!" Coming out of Hammerhead, the camera revealed Shadow inside the Veloster. "This car is—" The camera cut out before Shadow completed his sentence. "I told you this was supposed to be a G-rated show, Shadow!" Knuckles exclaimed. At the Follow-through, Shadow managed to get through without lifting off, and then zooming past the tires. "Nicely done, Shadow," said Knuckles. At the Penultimate corner, Shadow cut the grass a bit. When he reached Gambon, he hit the curb and went onto two wheels. "Whoa!" shouted Knuckles and the audience. The Veloster made it across the line on one side, flipping back afterwards.
The camera switched back to a pan across the back of the audience with them clapping. "Wow, Shadow," Knuckles said. "That first half of your lap was not that good, but you managed to pull yourself together on that final half. And those two wheels, man…that was good!" "It certainly gave me a run for my money," Shadow replied. "Let's just see how much a run for your money it was," said Knuckles. "You did it in…1 minute…forty…eight, point 7! There you go, the first, only, and fastest star on our track! Congratulations, Shadow!" Knuckles said, shaking his hand. "Thank you," Shadow replied. "Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it, Shadow the Hedgehog!" Knuckles yelled. The audience applauded again.
The camera came over to Sonic, where he stood by the three cars from the first challenge. "Okay, where we were last. We were driving from San Francisco to an abandoned airbase to do a cone slalom. I came second, Tails came first, and Knuckles didn't finish." The camera zoomed into Sonic's face. "But now, we were headed to San Jose for another challenge."
"We weren't headed exactly for San Jose. Instead, we were headed for Gilroy, America's garlic capital," said Sonic's disembodied voice. The camera panned from the sky to the trio's cars running parallel on a three-lane freeway. "I hope that the next challenge we get won't involve anything my Mustang can't do," Knuckles said in his car. The three pulled into a gas station just off of Highway 101. There, another man in a white suit came up to them to give them a challenge. "Is it a drag race?" asked Knuckles. "No," said Sonic. "It's much worse. It says, 'You are now in the garlic capital of the United States, and perhaps the world.' If you are to continue, you must deliver as much unpackaged garlic as possible to certain dispensaries. But first, each of your cars have had pieces of garlic glued to your car." The three stared at their cars, which now had garlic literally all over their car. "The one who gets the most pleasant attention from their cars get bonus points…' You two are done for! Just look at my car! That can hold more than twice of your two's cars combined!"
First, the three had to get the garlic in their car. Sonic, with his speed, managed to fill the whole back of the Impreza in 5 seconds, and drove off to the delivery point. Tails felt partially confident because he knew that his Lotus would weave through the city streets easily, but not until he realized that he could only fit 6 heads of garlic in the trunk, so he had to fit the rest in the passenger seat. Unfortunately, he placed the garlic in so quickly that once he sat down, he crushed a piece of garlic, smelling up his whole interior. Knuckles took the challenge leisurely, carrying all the garlic to his Mustang at once. Once he got them in, he drove off quickly.
Along the way, people stared at Sonic's Impreza, actually a bit impressed. Sonic had taken the time to attach a decal to his Impreza's side, saying "Garlic Crazy." In fact, some people were cheering him. Inside his Impreza, Sonic felt okay, but not the best. "I have the biggest cargo space, but that also means that I get the smelliest car. I'm just glad that the air conditioner works well. That's important in a car. You don't want to get all sweaty and dirty just because you don't have air conditioner." A head of garlic fell onto him. "Although some crotch protection would be useful."
Tails's Lotus didn't fare that well with the citizens of Gilroy. It may have been a semi-exotic with garlic all over it, but it didn't seem to fare well with them. Inside the Lotus itself, Tails was feeling miserable. "I'm starting to regret my choice of car. Then again. I wasn't expecting this. I have garlic stuck to my backside. I think that makes up my whole day," he said glumly. "If I'm going to win, I would have to make at least 10 trips to match with Sonic. He'll never let me hear the end of that." Tails drove on, not feeling confident about this challenge.
Knuckles's Mustang received mediocre responses from the citizens of Gilroy. Inside, Knuckles was even worse than Tails. "I don't understand. I know cutting onions makes you cry, but how does garlic make you cry?" he sobbed. His radio was stuck on at the same time, so Tails and Sonic could hear him crying. "Dude Knux, I didn't know you could cry!" Sonic laughed.
In the end, Sonic managed to get over 40 cubic feet of garlic to the dispensary, and got the best reception from the people of Gilroy. Tails managed only 10 cubic feet of garlic and got the worst reception from the people of Gilroy, and Knuckles got 20 cubic feet of garlic to the dispensary and had lukewarm reception. The current standings had Sonic in 1st+bonus points, Tails barely in second, and Knuckles last.
The final challenge was a straight out hot lap session at Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca. The day before the actual challenge, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles had the choice of choosing one of three drivers to help teach them the track: Mario Andretti, Dario Franchitti, and the Stig from Top Gear USA. Sonic chose Dario Franchitti, Knuckles chose Mario Andretti, and Tails chose TG USA Stig. Sonic made the best decision, as Dario Franchitti had driven on Laguna Seca just the week before, so he had fresh teaching. Knuckles also made a good decision because Mario Andretti was a legendary driver, and made a speed record at Laguna Seca in his time. Tails's decision would have been good, because the Stig is also a uber-professional driver, but he doesn't speak, so Tails could only sit in the passenger seat with the Stig at the wheel, not able to say anything.
The hot lap day came. The trio lined up their cars at the starting line. The lights flashed. Red. Yellow. Yellow. Yellow. Green. They would do three laps around the track. Fastest single lap wins. Each driver set off in a cloud of smoke. Tails's Lotus immediately took first, with Sonic in second, and Knuckles third. The Lotus braked hard for the first corner, and glided through with a flick of opposite lock. The Subaru went through the first corner with minimal understeer, while the Mustang slid around the corner drifting stylishly, but slowly. This went on for the rest of the three laps, where Tails's Lotus was quick and agile, Sonic's Impreza was composed and steady, and Knuckles's Mustang was mad and slippy. Tails managed a 1:47.9, Sonic did a 1:49.3, and Knuckles did a 1:54.8. Sonic decided to run around the track himself just because he wanted to, and did it in 11.1 seconds, although it wouldn't count.
Back at the studio, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles stood in front of a tallying board, sorted out based on challenges: Cone Slalom, Garlic Challenge, and Lap Challenge. "Alright, let's look at the results", said Sonic. "Tails got 73.5 points for his slalom, I got 71 points, and Knuckles 0. The Garlic Challenge gave me 50 points plus 20 points for the charismatic applause, Knuckles got 20 points plus 5 points for mediocre response, and Tails got 0 points because 1) He only fitted 10 cubic feet of garlic in his car 2) He squashed one with his backside and 3) No one like the sight of the Lotus covered in garlic. In the lap challenge, Knuckles got 10 points because he was last, I got 20 points for second, and Tails got 50 points for first. So, the standings appear like this: I'm in first with 161 points, Tails has 123.5 points, and Knuckles has 25 points!" The audience applauded loudly.
"But wait!" Sonic exclaimed. "The producers added an 'X-factor:' price." Tails groaned. "Don't worry, Tails, you lose no points since you have the most expensive car. However, the producers did say that for every $1000 that our cars are cheaper, we get 2 points. Since my Impreza is $54,000 cheaper, I get 108 points, which brings me up to 169 points. Knuckles's Mustang is $38,000, so his car is $51,000 cheaper than the Lotus, so he gets 102 points, which brings him up to…127 points! There's been a change in position! Knuckles's Mustang is now second place, but most important of all, my Subaru Impreza is in FIRST PLACE!" The audience cheered loudly. "So there you have it, the best sports car you can get is the Subaru Impreza. Join us next time when we go for something less comfortable. Until then, see you next week!"