Hello friends and haters! Wow, two fics at once! I'm so awesome! (The other is a KHR one though) This nice little Gintama fic is an introspective look into Gin right before the end of the war, which is where it ended for him. Usually my Gintama fics are full of fluff, but not this one. However, I have a one that's full of fluff, but that's for after I finish the next chapter of my Saiyuki fic. So let's get this one going! My puppy-muse Scribble will do the disclaimer, and then we will begin!
Scribble: We do not own Gintama, and we will forever hate Viz for discontinuing it, and forever love a certain translator for not giving up when an entire company did.
The musical inspiration: Until the End by Breaking Benjamin. This gave me the misguided idea to do a fic, and I listened to it while writing, so check it out!
What2callmyself? is awesome and betas all my weird little ficcies!
Until the End
Gintoki stood at the edge of the battlefield, in the rain, staring up into nothingness. He felt an almost insane urge to smile, despite the fact that he had nothing he wanted to smile about.
"Lucky those guys came, or Zura and me would've been dead," he mused aloud, the strange insane smile starting to play on his face. "And there Zura had wanted to commit seppuku. Good thing I was there." The smile left his face and he looked down. Maybe he had survived, and maybe Zura had too, but still…so many of those that charged in to help them lost their lives.
Why? Why did they have to continue this? All it was…it was only death. Death of comrades and death of enemies…no one won like this. So why did it have to continue?
He looked down. There was blood staining the grass. He also realized that it was blood from him…his white coat, which had been drenched in blood, was now being almost cleaned by the rain that was soaking him.
It seemed so simple…so easy for the rain to wash it away. As if it never existed. Maybe someone like Takasugi could believe it, and maybe it helped him sleep at night…but Gin couldn't. He knew too well…he knew its stain would never wash away from him…and the knowledge did nothing to help keep his mind together, instead it was slowly tearing it apart.
He knew, somewhere deep inside, he had screwed up. He lost his way completely, and he didn't even remember what he was fighting for anymore. But that didn't mean he was giving up, or giving in.
He looked down at his sword. There was still a bit of blood on the blade, on the hilt, on his hand. But even still, the rain kept falling, washing it away.
Maybe…
Maybe it was that simple.
He looked up to the sky again, with a different kind of smile, and offered up almost a plea. "Shiroyasha…that's what they call me. A white devil. Shiroyasha…I don't want to be a shiroyasha any longer. I just want to be Sakata Gintoki again."
And he knew with that it was over. He was done. He would be taking his leave now.
He stumbled forward a step, catching himself with his other foot, and stumbled clumsily along the first few steps, as if his feet had forgotten how to walk. But after a while his feet grew steadier, and his steps were surer, until he was walking normally again. He didn't know where exactly the path ahead of him was going, but he wasn't going to stop…he would keep walking. He was wet, he was cold, he was tired and fatigued from the fighting, but he was still alive, and he would live to die another day, whenever that might be.
And as he walked, he raised his head and held it high, confident that the rain would wash the shiroyasha away.
And when the shiroyasha was gone, he could be Sakata Gintoki once more.
Scribble: Meh. It didn't come out quite like you hoped.
Me: Yeah, that happens to me a lot. Well, it's done, and I regret nothing! Nothing! So, thanks to everyone reading this and I'd love it if you would review! Flames telling me I suck without telling me how I can improve suck themselves and are worthless. Constructive criticism is appreciated. And good reviews are loved! So until next time! Long Live the Yorozuya!
-titangirl161