Title: Worlds Apart
Warning: This is a post episode fiction. It's set after the season finale. What I hoped happened away the credits rolled
Rating: PG (one bad word)
Fandom: Make It or Break It
POV: Sasha's, first person
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be mine. If they were we would have gotten more than what we did in the finale
Couple: Sasha/Summer
Word Count: 3134
A/N: Unbeta'ed. Please forgive all mistakes. I try to catch them, but I often miss more than I find
Summary: Sasha and Summer finally talk honestly
Feedback: Please and Thank you
Completed: Yes
A/N part 2: Thank you to all of you that read and reviewed my last Sasha and Summer story. That meant so much to me. I hope you like this one as well.
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I woke up with a warm body pressed oh so invitingly against my own. Her breath- gently puffed against my neck as she slept quietly at my side. Her hair was falling from her ponytail- partly from resting on the pillow and partly from my hands sliding through the silky strands. Her left hand is curled up into her chest and her right is pressed to my back. I felt the heat of her skin. I'm sure that once she pulled away- because even though I don't want her to; she would eventually pull away, I'll be branded by that hand. The base of my back will forever be marked by her.
Much like my heart was forever marked by her love.
Staring at the ceiling I counted the cracks. Starting from right to left, then going back the other way. She shifted slightly on the bed, her soft moan doing things to me I knew would get me into trouble later. Unable to look away from her any longer I brushed a stray lock of hair from her angelic face. Her nose wrinkled as a few pieces tickled the edge. A smile settled on my face. The events of the last week flooded my mind and made waking up to her even more unbelievable.
I remembered the night in my office when my pain and anger over her decision to marry another finally boiled to the top. Calling her out on giving up was easy because I deflected some of the blame for how we ended onto her. Summer's eyes widened as the words flowed and I knew then that some of what I was saying was true. The connection between us, the passion, the need was overwhelming even to me. And she got scared by it. Ran to the one person she knew would make her feel safe.
Even though that hurt to think, I get it. I understood why. Summer made me feel things I've never felt before. She could twist me up and leave me breathless. Every ounce of self-control I've cultivated over the years, snapped like a branch in a storm. And that's why I pushed her, entered her personal space with the intent on kissing her, of reminding her of how good we were together. I wanted to taste her again. I wanted to feel her lips against mine as her body surged up and need coiled in my veins. I wanted to turn back time so she wouldn't turn her head and reject my kiss like she did that night. Watching her walk away, walk back to him, made my insides clench in a pain that put every broken bone to shame.
That night, and the night of the party, were two of the worst of my adult romantic life. Seeing her stand with Steve as he announced their plans to wed in Rio, killed me. Not even the harsh taste of the whiskey could ease the feeling of loss, the bitter reality that she was truly gone from my life. I lost her. Steve got her. Lucky bastard. Summer would make a beautiful bride, someone else's beautiful bride. Swallowing down the agony, I stood on the outskirts of the Tanner property and cursed the stars because I couldn't curse God. Even as the pain flowed through my veins hotly over her, I couldn't curse her God. I couldn't do that to her. We were worlds apart, but not far enough that I could hurt her even in my darkest hour in that way.
The rest of the night danced before me in a blur. A phone call from Summer that sent my broken heart beating wildly. Unconscious prayers that she changed her mind. That she gave the heavy, expensive, completely-un-Summer-like ring back to the man that she didn't love. The realization that the call wasn't about us but about Lauren being in an accident. The seizing fear of not knowing how bad one of my girls was gave way to anger that Lauren would put her life at risk in such a foolish way. It all went so quick. A flash of time that bled into the Worlds competition. I watched those young women shine and show everyone how strong they really are. I learned that Lauren tried to ruin me, and as pissed off as it made me, I understood why she did it. She didn't want to lose Summer. She didn't want to lose the woman that she loved like a mother. I knew how she felt because I didn't want to lose Summer either. I didn't want to lose the woman I love. But I did.
Or so I thought.
I smiled as she stretched like a cat, her arms rose high above her head, her body pulling taunt making it press even closer to mine. Her blue eyes stay closed, but I knew she was on the edges of being fully awake. My arm around her shoulders tightened just a little and her right hand came down to rest against my chest. I brushed my lips along her forehead.
Last night. One night gave me back everything I thought I'd lost.
It was late when she knocked on my hotel room door. Her hair pulled in a high ponytail, her body clothed in a simple sundress. Sweat followed the line of her neck as she shifted from one foot to the other. The heat of the day stayed long into the night. Her light blue eyes were jumping from my face to the floor to the wall over my shoulder. Licking her lips, she rubbed her hands together. Right over left, left over right and that's when I noticed it. The ring. It was gone. The diamond didn't sparkle against her tan skin any longer. My heart lodged in my throat as the meaning of that penetrated the fog in my head.
She took a deep breath and then squared her shoulders, "Can I come in?"
I nodded, I couldn't speak. The lump in my throat wouldn't allow it. Stepping back, I opened the door wider, letting her brush past me into the room. The cool metal of the door knob and the strong wood under my fingers kept me grounded. It was real. She was there. Without her ring. I closed the door and turned to face her. Summer looked scared, but also resolved. Tension built between us. Thick and filled with unresolved feelings, with unanswered questions, with so much want it was like another being in the room with us.
I opened my mouth to say something, she shook her head, "No, please let me talk." I nodded again, relieved I wouldn't have to speak, because I still couldn't. She leveled me with an honest, nakedly so, stare and a small smile pulled her lips up slightly, "You will probably never hear this again, so please pay close attention, but here it is: You were right." The unexpected words snapped some of the tension, causing my muscles to relax and a smirk to fall onto my lips. Summer sighed, "You do something to me, Sasha." The seriousness of her voice made me want to reach out and comfort her. "You make me feel. And maybe I did run to Steve because he was safe, but you ran away too." She took a step toward me, but kept enough distance that I couldn't touch her. "One day you were here in my life and the next... next you were gone. Without a goodbye!" Her voice rose, pain lacing the words. She blinked rapidly to stop the tears from falling. "Do you have any idea how much that killed me? Payson got a thick letter, but me," she pressed a hand to her heart, "I didn't get anything. I spent days, weeks, months hoping that you would show up on my door step and tell me that you didn't mean to leave me behind. I waited for a phone call. Something! I waited for something to let me know that you were telling the truth when you said you loved me.
"I waited for you Sasha, because even though what I feel for you can make me feel like I'm drowning sometimes and even though I can lose sight of my values around you, I love you. I-"
"Love," I whispered.
Her mouth snapped shut, "What?"
"You said love, not loved. Present tense," I moved closer. "You said you love me."
"I do love you," she said so softly I almost didn't hear her. "I love you and I don't understand why. You drive me crazy."
I smirked, "Right back at you."
Summer continued as if she didn't hear me, "You mess with my head. I wanted so bad to love Steve the same why I love you, but I can't. I- I- I couldn't," Her eyes sparked, "You have taken too much of my heart. You've taken it all. I have nothing left to give another man until you give it back. Please give it back, Sasha..."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?" she breathed, tears gathering in her eyes again.
"Because," I closed the distance between us. I couldn't resist touching her anymore. I cupped her cheek in my hand, "I still love you too much."
She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch, "Then why did you leave without saying goodbye. Why did you just walk out of my life?"
Bringing my other hand up, I curled it around her slim waist and pulled her into me. Her eyes slid slowly open and I stared into their endless depths. "I couldn't say goodbye to you, Summer, because I didn't want it to be goodbye. I didn't want to leave you. I wanted you to be with me."
"Why didn't you ask me to come with you?"
A small sad smile lifted my lips up, "I didn't ask because I knew you would come and then you would regret leaving everyone behind." I swallowed thickly. "Like I regretted leaving you."
There was silence. Her eyes searched mine. Peering in, trying to find out if what I was saying was true. I let down every guard I had and waited for her to see that I spoke the truth. Summer grinned slightly up at me. "You know," she wrapped her arms around my waist. "It would be so much easier if you would just let me go."
I shook my head. "Can't."
"Can't or won't?"
"Both," I whispered before I slowly brought my head down to capture her lips, giving her time to back away. She didn't. She angled her head up, parting her lips. That was all the invite I needed. My mouth claimed hers in a mixture of possession- because she's mine, she always has been- and of love. Her nails curled into the material of my shirt, scraping lightly against my back. My hands slid into her hair, holding her head as I reacquainted myself with her taste.
My memory of her didn't do her justice, just as my thoughts of what she would be like when we first got together didn't do her justice. She was more than my mind could conjure up. Her mouth was sweeter, her tongue sliding against mine was silkier, the feel of her body was headier. Summer Von Horn was experience heightened. I felt more with her than I ever have in my entire life. A soft moan slipped from her throat and my blood sang with the sound.
The tightness in my chest signaled the need for air, but I didn't want to stop kissing her, for fear once I did she would remember that she didn't think she belonged with me, that she didn't think that was where God wanted her to be. I didn't want to give her a chance to run again. I didn't want to repeat my mistakes, but I knew I would have to as my lungs started to burn. We broke the kiss slowly, enjoying even the last brush of lips and I rested my forehead against hers.
She panted into the skin of my neck, a beautiful grin on her kiss bruised mouth. "Wow," she breathed. I laughed at the word because that was the one running through my mind as well. Summer pulled away enough to look into my eyes. "I probably shouldn't be here." Fear sent icy water through my veins. She cupped my cheek in her hand and sighed. "I gave Steve back the ring the night of the party." I opened my mouth but she placed a finger on my lips and shook her head, "I gave the ring back because he gave me an excuse to finally do want I've wanted to since you came back. He knew Lauren sent the edited tape to Ellen Beales. He knew and he didn't say a word." She leaned against my chest, her head over the heart she owned. "I was so mad by their deception, but I was also relieved because it meant I could walk away from that engagement." Her arms tightened. "I'm a horrible person aren't I? I was actually a little happy that I could finally admit that I wanted someone else."
"You aren't a horrible person," I kissed the top of her head, trying to reassure her.
She nodded sadly, "Yes I am." Pausing, she sniffled against the material of my shirt, I could feel the wetness of her hot tears seep through and my arms locked around her in response. "I am because I told Lauren I wanted nothing to do with her and that's why she was upset and got in a car accident. I'm horrible because the first person I wanted to run to was you as soon as I gave the ring back. I'm horrible because I wanted to kiss you so bad that night in your office even though I was wearing another man's ring. I'm horrible because I said yes in the first place knowing that I didn't love Steve, not the way he deserves to be loved because I was already too deeply in love with you."
Her words broke on a sob and I held her, rocking her as she wept for her own sins. The sins she carried with her, that she never confessed to anyone. Now the words were spoken. Now she could finally be free of them. Now we could finally move on. I reached down and lifted her easily into my arms. She curled against me, her face buried in the curve of my neck and shoulder. Tears still leaked from her eyes, but were easing up. I carried her to the bed, placing her on the soft mattress and then climbed on it with her. She stiffened slightly, laying with me and all that could happen entering her mind as I tried to block it out of mine. "It's alright, Summer, just let me hold you."
The words sent a shiver through her body, one that my own responded to. My blood temperature rose, but I ruthlessly wrestled the desire down. This wasn't about sex. It was about her. It was about finally being with her again. Summer settled on her side, nestled into my body. Her sobs were all but gone, only a few sniffles remained to remind us that she had once been crying in my arms. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours. My hand running up the length of her back before reversing direction. Summer's legs tangled with mine. No words were spoken. There would be time for that later and really enough had already been said.
Her breathing evened out. Deepening. I looked down and watched her face relax in sleep. I could picture doing that for the rest of my life. Letting my mind wander, I slipped into slumber with visions of us in my head.
Now here I am, watching the last ruminates of sleep leave her and grinning like a fool because I could. We didn't have sex the night before, but somehow I felt like what we did was more intimate than that. We broke down walls that we both built. We finally opened up the doors and let our feelings for each other out. I finally got to kiss her again.
Summer opened her eyes and smiled once she saw me. Those smiling lips were too much for me to deny and I didn't fight the feeling. Wrapping my hand around her neck, I tipped her head up and covered her mouth with mine. She moaned softly, sliding her own hands into the short hairs on my head. The kiss was gentle. A good morning, thank God it wasn't a dream and I love you all rolled into one tantalizing brush of lips against lips.
She grinned into the kiss before breaking away slowly. "We still need to talk," she buried her head into my chest. "But I don't want to right now. I just want to be with you."
"Sounds good to me," I said because honestly I don't want to talk either. I knew we had to. I knew that even though we wanted to be together, we had to be conscious of other people. It wasn't just us. Lauren was bound to get hurt by this. I shook the thoughts from my head and take her hand in mine. Our fingers naturally entwine together. A perfect fit. Emotions bubble up inside me and I kiss her again. More demanding this time. I wanted her to feel everything I did. I wanted her to know that even though I would never let her break her vow to God, I wanted her so much it hurt sometimes. I wanted her to know that no matter what happened from here on out, she owned my soul, had tattooed her name across it. The way her lips answered my own, let me know that the feelings were mutual. Pulling her over me, I settled her on my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around her. Summer sighed in contentment, I felt more than heard the sound leave her body. "I love you," I whispered.
"I love you too," she said just as softly.
Those were the only words spoken for a while. Nothing else needed to be said. We still had a long road ahead of us, but we were on that road together and that's all that mattered. We were no longer worlds apart.
The End
