Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Pink's song Who Knew. Enjoy!
You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right
It was one of those moments, the kind life seems to be full of, but yet they don't come enough. The kind of moment filled with such emotion, that it seems to last much longer than a moment. Then, when it ends, reality doesn't just sink, but crashes into focus. And the emotions previously felt, fly off the radar. A moment in which you seem to have no control, and almost like you're watching from someone else's body. Like watching a person you love drive away, and into a wreck, saying your wedding vows to the love of your life, or just seeing or reading something on the news.
Remus Lupin is having one of those moments.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them up
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
His only true remaining friend, Sirius Black, was gone. Remus almost went into shock, in fact, after it all settled in, he probably would, along with some serious depression, no pun intended. Sirius, Padfoot, Siri, Black, or Complete Moron Who Can't Sit Still, as he was affectionately called in school. Whatever he called him, it didn't matter, after all a rose by any other name, right? No matter what he was called, he was still gone, and that, is what Remus tried to avoid thinking about. That, along with the deaths of James and Lily, the betrayal of Peter, and how he had to hold Harry back from running after Sirius; he really was just like Prongs. Willing to fight for the people he loves until the very end.
But Remus still couldn't quite leave this moment yet, he knew that, because as soon as he did, he would break-down. Remus has had enough moments like these to know that.
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything
He had been foolish and he knew that. To believe them when they would tell him they'd always be a family, the Marauders, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, oh, and Lily, too. He would admit it was foolish, but when you're 11, and a werewolf, with your first real friends, it's hard not to believe it when one of them would say it. The same when you're 12, or 13, when they found out his darkest secret. Or even 14, or 15, when they became animangi to help him during transformations, or 16, 17, and 18, when they graduated from Hogwarts.
A place where they were safe, and could just prank Slytherins, where their biggest worries were being caught, and homework. Although, Prongs and Padfoot never seemed to worry about those two things as much. But then again, after believing Padfoot had betrayed them for years, and then finding out the truth, Sirius could have told Remus the sky was red and gold, and he probably would have believed him. So why not a promise that Sirius would never leave Remus again?
When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Remus felt like he was running on autopilot. Like the way he always seems to be during these moments. Last time he had one of these moments was when Sirius came back into his life. When he found out the truth, and saw Wormtail and Padfoot, back in the Shrieking Shack. A place of so much pain had given him back his best friend, and made him realize he really had lost one. All they needed was Prongs for their little reunion, Remus remembered thinking bitterly, after learning the truth.
Before that was Sirius' trial and being taken away, the news of Peter's 'death', and of course, Lily and James' death. He didn't celebrate with the rest of the wizarding world at Voldemort's demise; he was to busy being pulled in and out of his moments, and grieving over his family. Maybe they weren't blood related, but they were always there for each other, and they loved each other.
Yeah, yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened
He was holding Harry back, and telling him Sirius wasn't coming back. He felt himself saying the words, but still wasn't quite registering them; maybe he just didn't want to. Then he felt his voice crack, and tears started to form in his eyes, but he blinked them back. He had to be strong for Harry, like James always was for him. After his full moons, James always was at his bedside making sure he was okay, and then he would run off after Lily, leaving him in Sirius' care, while Peter was who knows where. But that's not the point, the point was he was there. Now Remus owed it to James, and Lily, to be there for Harry, and he was trying.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
Remus didn't know what happened after he let Harry go. Or how long it was, but not soon enough, yet almost too soon, he was out of the Department of Mysteries, and back at 12 Grimmauld Place. He was almost positive that Mrs. Black was screaming from her portrait, but he couldn't hear her. He was too focused on getting upstairs, to just go to sleep.
He made a mental note to check on how Harry was tomorrow. He could probably check in with Dumbledore…his thought process was cut short by seeing Sirius' bedroom door. It was partially open. Merlin, how Sirius hated this room, this house. When Remus first met Sirius, he had told him, "When I get old enough, I am gonna buy a flying motorcycle, and get far away from those crazy evil purebloods." And he had, until the Order made him come back and stay here.
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
Remus walked slowly into Sirius' old room. He saw the unmade bed, Sirius refused to make it, he always said, "What's the point in making it, if I'm just gonna unmake it in a few hours?" Remus, being the neat freak he was at the beginning of school would always try to talk some sense into Sirius, but by Christmas time, he would just give up again, until summer, when he would fall back into his neat freak ways.
Then he saw the clothes all over the floor, and the books open and thrown carelessly around. Remus shook his head and began to clean up after his flea-ridden doggy friend. Most of the books were organized on shelves, and the pile of clothes had shrunken from the size of a hippogriff to the size of a shaggy black dog, when Remus dropped what he was holding, stumbled over to the bed and layed down. The moment was over.
My darling
Who knew
Who knew
Sitting in Sirius' old room, on his old bed, Remus knew he wasn't coming back this time. And Remus had never felt more alone.