A/N: In response to .com/post/6924198687
I.
"It's going to fall over, Finn."
"It's not, babe, it's fine."
"It is! It's going to break, and then we won't be able to give it to your mom, and she won't think I'm considerate, and she won't want us to be together and get married and give her grandchildren anymore!"
"Wh- What? Babe. Chill. She loves you. And it's not gonna break."
"Well, couldn't you just pull over to the side quickly so we can fix it? Then I wouldn't be so worried."
"We can't stop, Rach, we're in the mountains. There is no 'side.'"
"Fine, but when we get past this stretch of road, you're pulling over."
"Yes, ma'am."
II.
They drive for another half hour before Rachel starts panicking.
"Finn, what are the chances of there being a rockslide right now?"
"Rach, there aren't going to be any rockslides. Those signs are just there as a warning."
"Yeah, but that means they're there because it could happen anytime.. and now is just as good a time as any other, isn't it?"
Finn sighs.
"Why don't you just try to take a nap, babe? Put some music on and try to get some sleep."
"Oh? Am I annoying you, Finn? Is my presence that terrible? Sorry for trying to point out the obvious and potentially save our lives."
Another sigh.
"Rachel, I know you're tense right now, but there's no reason to worry. Do you know how many people have driven this way before without being hit by rocks? We're gonna be fine. Try to get some sleep."
She glowers.
"Fine."
III.
"Finn, your driving is making me sick. Would you stop pulsing the accelerator so much?"
"Babe, I have to keep slowing down and speeding up as I go around these turns."
"Well, maybe I should've driven."
He snorts.
"Y-YOU? You should've driven? Between that stupid Stephanie lamp and the attack of the boulders, you would've had us off the edge of this cliff hours ago with your nerves."
"Tiffany, Finn. TIFFANY."
"Whatever! Look, you're making ME anxious. Could you please just calm down a little?"
"Sorry for being a nuisance."
Yet another sigh.
Just five more hours, Hudson.
IV.
The lightning scares him so badly he swerves.
Thank God we're back on the interstate, he thinks.
The lightning was nothing compared to the giant clap of thunder following it, and Rachel wakes with a start.
"Aaahh! Finn! Finny? Where are we? What's happening? Is that a tornado? Oh my God, are we falling off the mountain? Why's it so dark? Are we dead? Are we in Hell? Finn, I've been so good, why are we in Hell?"
He stares, incredulously.
Oh, for the love..
"Rach, calm down! We're still on the road! It was just a little thunder, I think there's a storm coming."
No sooner does he end that sentence, than the rain starts pounding on the windshield.
Shit.
He switches the wipers on as fast as they'll go, but, despite the lights of the highway, he still can't see a thing.
"Rach, I think we're gonna have to pull over. I can't see at all, it's raining way too hard."
"But.. it's dark, Finn. It's dark and the middle of- who even knows where we are! You can't pull over! I forbid you, Finn Hudson!"
"We have to. I can't drive in this."
He slows and pulls onto the shoulder, but hits a giant puddle.
Rachel screams, and he's holding on to the steering wheel tightly, willing it to move the way he wants.
The car still hydroplanes, landing slightly off the road.
They look at each other frantically, making sure the other is okay, when they hear a loud crash.
Finn winces.
Shit.
He knows exactly what that was.
V.
Twenty minutes later, Rachel's still yelling about how he should have just pulled over to reposition the lamp, and he's still arguing that he couldn't because there was nowhere to pull over other than the gigantic gorge beside the cliff. Then she turns on his driving habits, which have been "absolutely atrocious" throughout the entire trip and he has to bite his tongue to keep from pointing out that she's been an atrocious pain in the ass, and maybe that's why his driving's been off.
She just huffs at his lack of a response and turns toward her window, gazing out in silence.
Finn stares at her for a minute before turning off the headlights and making himself comfortable, trying to get some sleep. This storm looks like it's going to be a while, and Rachel can't stay quiet for long.
VI.
The trees next to their car rustle violently, pulling Rachel out of her light slumber.
She bolts up, wide-eyed, looking hard into the woods, trying to ascertain the cause of the noise.
The leaves move again, and she's had about enough.
"FINN! FINN! FINN, WAKE UP! FINNY, WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WE NEED TO GO! I DON'T CARE IF WE DRIVE INTO A TSUNAMI, WE JUST NEED TO GO! FINN!"
He wakes up to her screeching, his arm in pain from her physical attempts to get his attention.
"What the hell is going on, Rach?"
She's annoyed that he's not as panicked as she is. This is a life or death situation!
"Finn! There's someone in the woods! He probably has a chainsaw! I heard him moving around! He's coming for us! He needs fresh blood to survive and- wait, those are vampires, but maybe he does, too! Maybe he's a zombie! Or a werewolf! He's going to take you first because you're bigger and meatier and I'll just have to watch you get cut up into little pieces and eaten up limb by limb, and then he'll come for me as the dessert! Or maybe I'll be the appetizer, and you'll have to watch me get cut up and eaten, and.."
Her sobbing takes over, and she begins wailing hysterically.
Finn just stares, stunned and slightly amused.
What on earth?
"Rach?"
More incoherent wails.
"Rach? Rach! Baby, calm down! There's no one in the woods, baby, please stop screaming so loudly!"
She's quiet for a moment, and he's pleased.
She starts up again, even more loudly.
He sighs.
"Rachel! Listen to me! You probably just heard a deer or something! Please, baby, please stop crying, I can't even hear myself! I promise you there is no one out there! This isn't some freaky movie, Rach, nothing's gonna happen!"
His words seem to calm her slightly, and he wants to take full advantage of this opportunity.
He slides over to the middle of the bench seat and pulls her into his arms, holding her still and rubbing her back in wide circles.
"Baby, you need to calm down. You're gonna give yourself a heart attack one of these days, you know that? You'll probably give me one, too, while you're at it. Nothing's going to happen to us. I wouldn't let anything hurt you, and you know it. Come on, Rach, just relax, 'kay? I'm here, everything's gonna be okay."
Her crying reduces to sniffles, and she looks up at him with red, puffy eyes, snot dripping down out of her nose, and saliva on her chin.
He thinks she looks beautiful.
"But that's what always happens, Finny," she whimpers. "Someone always comes out of the woods to prey on the young, innocent, attractive couple that is stuck roadside. It's a recipe for disaster. Plus, I heard it!"
He smiles.
Let's face it, she's adorable.
"I told you, babe, you probably just heard a deer, or the wind, or something. There is no one coming out of those woods. And if someone did? Do you think I would let them get anywhere near you? I'd smack 'em right in the nose.. you know exactly how badly it would hurt."
He winks at her and she lets out a little giggle.
"That's my girl. Now give me a real smile."
She gazes up at him hesitantly, smiling shyly.
"I love you, Rach. My number one priority is keeping you safe, whether it means physically or emotionally. And you know I will do anything to do it. You don't need to worry when you're with me, alright?"
She's looking at him, her eyes soft.
"I know, Finny. I'm so sorry I've been such a pain this whole trip. You've been nothing but patient with my antics and complaints, I don't deserve you."
"Hey, hey, now, don't talk like that! What's gotten into you? Baby, we've been through this so many times.. we were basically made for each other. I mean, you keep me on my toes, I keep you relatively sane. Now, if that isn't the best relationship I've ever come across, I don't know what is."
She blinks a couple times before a slow smile grows on her face.
"Forget the part about us making each other happy, as long as you keep me relatively sane, huh?"
"That's right, babe!"
They both grin at each other.
Maybe this trip hasn't been so bad, after all.
VII.
They both try to get some sleep, but as Rachel lays with her head in Finn's lap, apologizing for what seems like the hundredth time, he can't stop noticing the way the ever-present lightning illuminates her face, casting shadows and making her eyes glisten.
She's so beautiful.
And she's apologizing again, and she looks so vulnerable, and so sincere, that he just can't help but kiss her.
She moans lightly, and reciprocates, returning his soft, tender kiss with more passion.
She slowly turns, climbing to her hands and knees, crawling over to straddle his lap.
They both groan at the contact, and she pushes herself even closer to him.
His hands are in her hair, on her back, along her sides- he suddenly just can't touch enough of her.
Her desire growing as well, she brings her hands to the hem of his shirt, lifting it and stroking the skin underneath.
He shivers at the contact, and moves his hands away from her thighs long enough to remove his shirt completely.
She stares at him for a minute, soaking in everything she can see, before latching her lips on to his neck.
He moans and feels himself growing harder with every kiss.
He removes her shirt gently and pushes her hair out of her face as she takes her bra off.
Now it's his turn to stare.
He kisses her collarbone, making his way down to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth.
She lets out a noise he's never heard before, and he moves to the other nipple, trying to elicit it again.
She's back to kissing his neck, and one hand has moved between their bodies to rub him through his jeans.
He grunts and thrusts upward a little. These pants are getting entirely too tight.
As she unbuttons him, he's lifting up her skirt and pushing her panties to the side, stroking her lightly with a finger.
They're both panting in anticipation when she lifts herself up to push his jeans down his thighs.
She strokes him a couple times.
"Oh, Rach."
He kisses her and enters her with one finger, and she makes that noise again, mewling into his mouth.
They can't wait any longer.
He moves his hand, and she immediately lowers herself onto him.
They groan as she wiggles around a bit, letting herself become adjusted.
Slowly, she begins moving up and down, and he follows her lead, thrusting with her.
She throws her head back, one hand on his chest and the other in his hair.
Her breasts sway with each thrust, and as he watches them, he thinks this is going to end way earlier than he anticipated.
He takes one in each hand, squeezing her nipples.
She moves faster, and he moves his hands to her ass, helping her gain the momentum she needs.
When she starts moving in circles, he knows he's going to lose it soon.
"Rach, baby, you feel so good."
She comes back to his mouth, their tongues wrestling.
He can feel her breasts bouncing against his chest, and he's so, so close, but he wants to make sure she gets there first.
He's pretty sure she is when she starts moaning louder.
"Finn! Oh, Finn, I'm almost.."
He sucks on her neck and thrusts a little harder, and it's enough to send her over the edge.
"Oh, God! Finn! I'm coming, Finn! I'm coming, baby!"
Seeing her face and hearing her moaning his name is all it takes.
He buries his face in her neck and lets go.
"Rach! Rach, oh, baby, I'm coming.."
After a few final thrusts, they're still.
He's gasping and she's running her hands through his hair, peppering his face with kisses.
When he can finally breathe again, he kisses her hard and pulls her close.
"I love you, Rachel."
Tears prickling her eyes, she kisses his cheek.
She pulls herself off of him, and reaches for a tissue to clean him off.
She helps him pull his jeans back on and lays her head back down in his lap.
Reaching up and cupping his face, she whispers.
"I love you, Finny."
He strokes her hair.
"Get some sleep, Rach. The storm's almost through."
He draws little circles on her back until he can hear her soft snores.
Dawn is near, and he knows they need to be back on the road soon, but he leans his head on the door- a little nap can't hurt.
With a flash of lightning, though, he sees the backseat light up in his rearview mirror, and something shiny catches his eye.
Oh, yeah.
The Stephanie.
Tiffany.
Whatever.
They'll need to find something else to bring home to his mom.
Rachel shifts a little, letting out a content sigh and burrowing her head happily against his lap like a kitten.
He presses a kiss to her forehead before leaning back and closing his eyes.
They can deal with that in the morning.