The boy before him had a look in his eyes that made Katsuki wonder just how many people he had killed, but the sadistic grin spreading across his freckled face made him realise that Izuku had probably lost count. It had been 10 years since the childhood friends had seen each other.

Izuku Midoriya, a young boy who was stolen away by villains and presumed dead, stood in front of his childhood friend and bully, Katsuki Bakugo, who had never really believed Izuku was dead. Still, seeing the green haired boy in front of him, showing a grin riddled with sadistic blood lust, Katsuki found himself wondering if things would be better if Izuku had all those years ago, before this could happen to him.

''What's the matter Kacchan? Don't you recognise me?''

Those emerald green eyes that had once shined with adoration and hope, were mimicking an empty vessel as they bore into Katsuki, who felt as if the ground beneath him was trying to pull him to his knees.

''...Deku?'' He managed to stutter out.

''Gosh Kacchan, it's been a while since anyone has called me that, its sort of nostalgic. Deku was the Izuku you used to know after all, right?''

Katsuki remained silent. He was finding it difficult to process the words being spoken to him. 'Used to'?, obviously he's different now, but he can't have changed completely right? Deku had always declared he wanted to be a hero when he grew up.

''You..You always wanted to be a hero right? So why do you look like this?''

Katsuki could only stare, as Izuku's features morphed into amusement and slight confusion, the empty glaze in his eyes never leaving.

''Are you asking me why i'm standing in front of you now, clearly not a hero?''

Katsuki felt taken aback by the other boys tone, it put things in perspective for him and brought back a familiar burning anger. He realised that Izuku was basically laughing at him, jeering at his confusion, like he was stupid, like his reaction wasnt the normal thing to have when you suddenly come face to face with someone everyone believed was dead, someone who you had practically mourned!

''Why the fuck are you here then? You're supposed to be dead! Where the hell have you been hiding?!''

Even as he let the words roll out in a spiteful tone, Katsuki had always thought Deku would survive somehow.

He heard the aftermath of a shrill laughter coming from the other boy, but Katsuki heard none of the words that followed, lost in the grief of his memories from 10 years ago. The day he thought he'd never see Izuku Midoriya again, the day he failed to protect someone weaker than him.

(10 Years ago)

Katsuki had never really been overly kind to Deku, but he had considered the smaller boy a friend. Until his Quirk manifested. Katsuki always shoved him down into the dirt to emphasize that the boy was beneath him in every way possible. The childish violence continued and escalated as they grew, especially when Izuku was confirmed to be a Quirkless loser, barely worth his time.

Katsuki had his lackeys, a bunch of idiots that followed him around like lost puppies. He kept them around because of the constant praise and the fact that they did have Quirks. Izuku Midoriya, on the other hand, had no friends, and Katsuki would always make sure of that. Someone without a Quirk was useless, he truly was 'Deku', and there was no way he was going to let the smaller boy think he could become a hero. The physical and verbal bullying continued until they were 6 years old.

The overconfident blond child was leading his lackeys, with a hesitant Izuku in toe, to an abandoned building late into the evening. They were all supposed to be having a sleep over at the Bakugo residence and were exploring outside, until someone mentioned the building with what Katsuki perceived as an unspoken challenge. The building hadnt been anything special until the recent news reports. In those reports, there was mention of a small organisation of villains that used it as some sort of temporary base. The news never went into much detail.

Upon arriving at the site, it was covered in police tape and had no obvious signs of life. It's true that the local residents evaded the building, but it had looked eerily empty, like there had been no signs of life to begin with.

Despite the slight faltering in the steps of his lackeys, Katsuki had kept on walking with determination in his step and a sneer over his shoulder. Katsuki had felt irritation bubble in his chest when he noticed Izuku follow the group regardless of his shaking posture and skittish glances. Katsuki remembered thinking it was going to be a lot of fun to scare Deku and humiliate him in front of the others.

Once the small group of boys had entered through a gap in the boarded up doorway, minus Izuku who had yet to enter, they quickened their pace in unspoken agreement, turning themselves out of sight.

When Izuku Midoriya had made it through the doorway, having had his backpack snag on the door frame, he would have found himself alone.

Katsuki remembered silencing his followers as they all rushed to hide in various places inside what looked to be a dying living room. He himself, had climbed into a small wooden cupboard and chosen to bide his time, listening.

What he heard seconds later was not Deku, but unfamiliar voices that sounded from below him. A basement? The voices had caused fear to creep up his spine, remembering the news reports on the villains. Katsuki remembered deciding that he would gather up the group and lead them out of the building quietly. However, when he opened the door, it collided with someone who let out a shriek and fell to the floor. Katsuki had instantly recognised it as Deku, but froze to listen for the voices once more. The muffled voices were being replaced with outraged shouting and thumping of boots. Katsuki had bolted upright, dragging the green haired boy onto his feet. As he let go of Deku, Katsuki signalled frantically for everyone to head for the exit.

The following moments had been a flurry of panicking blurs. The next thing Katsuki remembered was looking back over his shoulder, seeking out the others who were all scampering behind him like the pathetic worms they were. He searched their faces and within seconds, realised that Deku was not amongst them. He had stopped running away, and instead started breaking through the scampering group. What he saw next had haunted his dreams for years.

Deku was desperately pulling at his backpack, a frantic look clouding his features as he turned his head to look towards Katsuki, who was already racing toward him, arm outstretched.

The last part of Deku that he remembered seeing, was his hand reaching out with a look of pure terror in his eyes as black mist seemed to engulf him.

Katsuki doesn't remember much from the remaining hours of that day. He doesn't remember feeling anything that night, as police swarmed his home. He was just a kid. A six year old kid, just like Deku. But Deku was gone.

Three years later, it was as if everyone had given up hope. The news pronounced the Quirkless boy, Izuku Midoriya, son of Inko and Hisashi Midoriya, as dead. No evidence. Not even a single sighting since the kidnapping. To Katsuki, that wasn't the case, he had seen plenty of Deku in his dreams. The green haired, freckled boy haunted him relentlessly. Sometimes it would just be a repeat of that evening, other times, they would talk. When they talked, Izuku would always ask him why he never helped, why he beat him down every day despite only ever wanting to be his friend. ''Why didn't you save me? Why didn't you protect me like you once told me you would when you tried to comfort me? When you cared''.

Katsuki remembers feelings angry at himself, guilt and regret plaguing him throughout the following years. Katsuki remembers torturing himself with replays of the event in his memories, imagining what he could have done differently. What would have saved his childhood friend, what if he had kept a hold on Deku's hand and dragged him out, at least then he would have had a better chance. What if Katsuki could have swapped places with him? Would he?

As Katsuki Bakugo grew into his teenage years, the dreams became less frequent but his guilt and regret continued to plague him every day. He had sworn a pact with himself, that he would be the best hero out there. He would find Izuku Midoriya and bring him home, because theres no way he was dead. Katsuki knew he may be grasping onto false hope that the green haired boy was still alive, but he had to believe. If Deku had died that day...

It was 10 years since that night. They were both 16, now standing in front of the other in a deserted alley near their homes. Katsuki often takes walks late into the night when the nightmares get bad or he cant sleep, which is most nights. It's clear from Izuku's seemingly planned appearance, that he was been aware of Katsuki's nightly walks.

''Kacchan?...Hey, Kacchan?''

Izuku's voice sounded monotone, but to Katsuki felt like there was a small hint of worry. Snapping back to the present, the undertone of worry surprised him. Did Deku still care?

His inner monologue must have shown in his expression, prompting Deku to say;

''Oh Kacchan, don't look at me like that. You look hopeful, like im still the same kid you knew''.

This time, Katsuki was certain there wasnt any worry in the others words. Instead, there was amusement.

''Did you hear anything i just said?''

Katsuki's reply was blunt, his mind still wheeling with possibilities.

''No.''

Any hopes that Katsuki held for seeing the snivelling brat he wished he could have saved, were dashed away upon hearing Deku's next words.

''I was telling you what I've been up to. You asked right? How when you failed to save me, i was taken away to the League of Villains, you've heard of them, right? I mean you have encountered them before. Anyway, they did experiments on me, tried to find a way to trigger my Quirk, i guess. Well, i don't remember much of the details, its all pretty blurry, but isn't that great Kacchan?! I mean, i think it hurt, i think it hurt a lot, there were times im sure i begged for death after i gave up on being saved. But guess what Kacchan? Now i have a Quirk!''

The green haired boy's smile was alight with glee, but his eyes remained empty as his voice recounted various types of experiments he can vaguely remember, the torture he had to endure as a child. Each time he described one, there was an undertone of insane laughter and a flicker of unidentified emotion in his eyes as they seemed to become more lifeless by the second. Katsuki couldn't help the cringe he felt as guilt and regret resurfaced. Knowing that because he had failed to save him, he had been experimented on and tortured. Listening to how Izuku Midoriya admitted to gradually losing hope of being rescued, had started begging the sick bastard to end his life, felt as if it was breaking Katsuki into a million worthless pieces.

Izuku's explanations had long ago turned into mumblings that Katsuki couldn't understand, much like the habit he used to have when they were still together as kid. When Katsuki used to hit him for it. Another stab of guilt.

The mumbling came to an end as Izuku's freckled face drained of all emotion. He seemed to be listening to something but Katsuki couldn't hear anything in the darkness surrounding them. Just as he opened his mouth to interrupt the silence, to maybe demand more answers, to demand that the other boy go home to his mother who Katsuki had watched grieve for 10 years, Deku broke the silence first.

His freckles face remained emotionless as he looked into Katsuki's eyes and stated calmly;

''Don't worry Kacchan, even though you failed to save me, i've continued to admire you, to watch you for the past couple years.'' His voice took on a bitter tone as he continued; ''It's funny, how you still want to be a hero despite how perfect of a villain you could be''.

Before Katsuki could shout back his response, to say how bat shit crazy Izuku sounded, the green haired figure began to turn away from him. His mouth was contorting his face into a façade of blissful innocence, but his eyes possessed the only emotion they seemed capable of holding; a look that suggested broken sanity.

''I have to leave now, but i'll come find you again soon. I have a lot planned for you. For us. Good night Kacchan, sweet dreams.''

Katsuki was about to follow after him, make demands, drag him home, whatever it took. But, as black mist surrounded him in a familiar, torturous way that was sure to kick-start his nightmares again, Katsuki could finally see Izuku's clothing. Katsuki could finally se the pools of blood, enlightened by a nearby street lamp, staining the smaller boy. None of it seemed to be his. Again, Katsuki started to question how many people Izuku had possibly killed in the years he was presumed dead.

How could he save Deku and bring him home if the Izuku he knew, was barely there?

AUTHORS NOTE

This is crossuploaded from another site, however, slight changes are being made to both, using this site as a way to improve it. I recommend sticking to the story on this site, it will be uploaded periodically when i have time to make the changes.