Disclaimer: Namco owns them all.
Author's Note: Something to cheer me up from my recent ordeal. The forgotten characters are not very happy about being ignored...
Third Passageway
Second Cave from the Right
The Northern Express Rail Line
Lunatea
XXX XXX
To whom it may concern:
In the wonderful world of Klonoa fandom, many, many fics are written about the characters' daily lives. Characters such as Klonoa, Guntz, Lolo, Leorina... the list goes on. They're about anything: love, losses, sadness, suicide, kisses, cookies, anything.
All the younger, fitter, common characters.
Now they're over and done with, let's move on to my point. Huepow, Janga, Garlen, Joka all have a place in the Klonoa fanfiction pedestal. The older, and occasionally crueler characters that are made famous by games that were massive hits. I mean, even Lephise, Grandpa, and Nahatomb are written about, and before Klonoa Heroes arrived on the scene they weren't even real characters! Just something that effing crazy young coot of a prince made up so he could perform fella
I apologize for that previous rude statement. It was written with someone who had no respect for prince Huepow. I shall give him the laptop back now.
Shut up, Jillius. Just because you're royal.
That has nothing to do with it. Now stop it or I'll personally come after you with a stake.
Whatever.
As I was saying, those characters I mentioned have a lot of fiction written about them. To top it all off, even un-canon characters and Mary-Sues are written about! Practical novels about characters that aren't even canon exist in the internet. And every single effing time, we get overlooked and sneered at.
Who am I talking about? Us! The supporting characters from the Klonoa games.
Jillius, Musica, Chirin, Dr. Medim, Bagoo, Anemon, Digro, Gomeroth, Suiryu, Chipple... and myself, of course. All the other characters from the GBA games. Don't we matter? I mean, if we hadn't been turned into stupid gears in that tournament, if I had never gotten anemic, if Suiryu had never existed, Guntz and Klonoa would have never shared that sweet, sweet moment together and no one would have bothered to continue the games. Why don't we get any credit? When we're written into fiction it's only like one sentence: 'Zweegle stood there thoughtfully staring after him' 'Emperor Jillius was away on his duties' 'Musica was a beautiful soprano singer' 'Chipple ran towards the sound with Popka' and all the rest.
We do exist, you know! Even that whatshername from the Moonlight Museum played an important part! Just because we're pretty much silent and supporting doesn't mean we have to get so overlooked! I'll have you know that I was involved in an angsty yaoi love pentagon in my past and ran away to Ghazzaland for seven months!
So why, oh why do we get ignored?
Some writers understand, I know. But to be honest no one actually reads them fanfics and the authors are all homicidal and emo. We want normal fiction written about us too. And we certainly don't want to get killed, mourned for five seconds and forgotten!
The laptop doesn't like me. I shall end my letter here. Have a nice day. Thank you for your time and concern.
-Zweegle-
P.S. If we don't see fiction being written about us soon, you shall have one very angry vampire loose in the Klonoa fandom raping all your canon characters.
P.P.S. Please forgive my friend's behaviour. Anemia is terribly stressful for him and he didn't take his supply of iron and calcium today. -Gomeroth-
P.P.P.S. Me want food. -Deegrow-
P.P.P.P.S. It's spelt 'Digro', dumbass. BTW, Zweegie, you serious about raping them? I'll help. -Anemon-
P.P.P.P.P.S. What's all this talk of rape? You two, come with me. You need to answer some serious questions. -Suiryu-
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Stop pairing my Musica up with Beryl. He's just a stalker. It was a fling and she didn't mean it. She was drunk on vodka at the time. -Jillius-
You heard what they all said. Write now! I demand!
The great Zweegle has spoken. (Drumbeat)