He kept breaking my heart. Over and over. Yet I still loved him with all the little pieces left. I should have stopped by now, all his signs were encouraging me to. The lessening of the messages and communication, ignorance of me at school. It was all too much and I couldn't handle it.
I stupidly chose to fall in love with him. HIM of all people. Didn't I realise he was never going to love me back? He was too busy lying and deceiving me. And here I was, stupidly mistaken for thinking he was my friend when he made very clear to his other friends that I am just a stranger.
He told me and trusted me with many things, but in the end he didn't trust me anymore. Funny. I trusted him through and through. Maybe that was where my mistake lied. Trusting him. To know how he really thinks of me was one of the biggest wake up calls of my life. The best wake up call in fact. Grateful to all the friends that I trusted with this. They made me realise what an asshole he really was.
I thought that underneath that dark, deep exterior was someone genuinely kind and good-hearted, and if I searched enough I would find it. How mistaken was I? He proved to be anything but kind. He was a heart-breaker. And I should have known at first sight.
Even in saying all this, I still love him. A part of me always will. But I have to bury that part very deep and for very long. There is no way I can fall for him again. He broke my heart too many times and if he does it again, I think I might finally snap.
You see, because of him I have taken a very unhealthy obsession. Cutting. And I wouldn't have ever started, if he didn't push the final trigger. I was in depression and he just made it worse. My unrequited love for him was over-powering my thoughts and lead my down a path I would like to forget. Unfortunately, scars don't heal quickly. Physical or Mental.
I finally stopped cutting. No help from him though. I slowly started to improve on my schoolwork as well. I slacked off there as well. My social life got heaps better. I'm eating better and doing everything better. Except, I still love him.
And I think I always will. But he doesn't deserve my love. And he definitely doesn't deserve me.
And he's too busy playing around with Sakura and Ino to even think of me. Sasuke, oh Sasuke. How I wish you would have realised earlier. How much I loved you.
But now, Ill back off so you can live better.