Wednesday's child

Wednesday's child

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As I walked down the road to nowhere I saw many people going in the same direction and none the other way

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                I looked at the closed door and sighed.  Tears welled up in my eyes, threatened to spill over.  I bit them back.  I would not cry.  "I will not cry." I chanted to myself.  But all was in vain.  A single tear paved a damp trail down my cheek and I turned and ran.   

                It's not as if I… expected him to love me or care about me in the slightest.  I knew they were all lies from the beginning, lies made to turn me.   I wanted him to love me, though.  I wanted to feel the semblance of normality.  I wanted to feel accepted instead of like an outsider.   I knew that I'd never get that.  I've known since Father died.   Trieze's death doubled my pain, my longing.  In a sense I wanted to be deceived.

                I know everyone thinks that I'm a war-loving maniac.  The truth is, I am.  When two people are fighting it's… beautiful.  There are no hindrances; the outside world just doesn't exist anymore.  The only thing on their minds is winning, staying alive for whatever reason.  Human beings are so funny that way.  The only way they're free is when they're causing destruction then a part of them feels remorse, but the other part is delighted.

                So how do they feel?  Are they delighted?  They must be.  They brought about my destruction.  What people don't understand about me is that while I feel that there is a constant need for battles, I believe that everyone must love something, must care about something or else their life has no meaning.  For a while, I thought all I cared about were battles and death.  A part of me was afraid of that.  So when he came around.  That part of me wanted him, wanted him to love me, to care about me, since no one else did.

                I tricked myself into believing that when he talked to me he was doing more than trying to talk a suicidal person away from the ledge.  I let myself get hurt.  I knew this was coming.

                It's started to rain.  That's another thing I don't understand.  The rain.  Why do people hate it?  It's full of life, it's welcoming.  Why do people insist on labeling things!  Most don't seem to understand that evil is a human creation.  It wouldn't exist if we didn't say so.  A fish kills and eats another fish, no one points and shouts "CANNIBALISM!" do they?  Fish are smarter than humans.  They can't read labels.

                Look where my feet have taken me.  Father's grave.  I knelt by it.  Droplets of water fall on the grave.  Are those my tears or just the rain.  Am I even capable of crying anymore?  "I died with you." I whispered.  I smiled sardonically at the last thought that went through my mind before everything went black: I was born on a Wednesday.

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                "Did you hear something?" Quatre asked.

                "No." Trowa replied.

                "Funny, I could've sworn I heard the door open and close." Quatre murmured.

                "You're always hearing things." Trowa whispered before kissing his lover.

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                The next morning, Trowa and Quatre were taking a walk when they spotted a body in the graveyard. 

                "What is that?" Quatre asked.

                Trowa shrugged.  And they went to find out. 

                "Oh Allah.  Trowa call an ambulance!" Quatre shouted, checking for a pulse.  "Dorothy, Dorothy!" He called, for it was in fact Dorothy's body they'd found.  He looked at her face and saw a smile there. 

                Trowa came back and saw Quatre leaning over Dorothy.  "Why is she smiling?" Quatre asked.  "WHY IS SHE SMILING!" before collapsing into Trowa.

                Trowa took one last curious look at the girl before he and Quatre walked away.  They cold both hear the ambulance coming and both knew that it couldn't help.  The girl was dead.  And her smiling face would haunt them forever.

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Wednesday's child is full of woe