Rated T for Language and Puck's thoughts 'cuz you know they'd be baaad…
Pairing: Puck & all the girls
Disclaimer: I own nothing Glee related. Except my very dirty thoughts about Mark Salling
This is my first foray into Glee FanFiction. Sorry if the shifting POV is confusing. Let me know what you think.
Honey, Honey
Mr Schuester rubbed the bridge of his nose trying to relieve the headache that was growing there. Crap! How could this have gone so wrong?
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Flashback to the previous afternoon:
"Ok guys, I want to try the girls singing together the way you did for the mash-ups, but without being under the influence!"
This announcement was met with some nervous giggles. He passed out the sheet music for "Honey, Honey" from the musical Mama Mia!
"Your parts are marked and I want to hear this tomorrow. Lots of energy!"
Rachel looked at the music she held in her hand. A double frown line appeared between her brows as she noticed that the music was pretty well divided between all the girls with herself and Quinn having slightly larger parts.
"I would like to offer my services as choreographer as I am the person with the most experience. If everyone would like to come to my house for refreshments." She called out to the other girls.
"Forget it. This isn't the gay pride parade. Practice field. Now!" Quinn called as she marched out the door followed by Santana and Brittany.
Things got worse out on the practice field. Tina, Mercedes, Brittany & Santana watched as the conversation between Quinn and Rachel degenerated to name-calling and ended with Rachel storming off without singing a single note.
Finn and Puck had followed the girls out to the field and were watching the fireworks from the bleachers.
"I don't think it is good for Quinn or the baby to be getting all upset like that." Finn said as he watched the two girls standing toe to toe and almost nose to nose. He was leaning forward as if to catch every word. Not that it was necessary considering the decibel level of the argument.
"Wouldn't it be hot if they started making out?" muttered Puck.
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Mr Schuester listened to the Glee club girls giving a lackluster performance through their clenched teeth and while shooting glares at each other. What was he going to do to fix this one?
"OK…ok…" he broke in and the music came to a halt. "Uh…this is supposed to be a fun, bouncy song."
"I'd like to see some bouncing," Puck said under his breath to Finn, "on my lap." Finn snorted. Mr Schue looked up at the sound and called out,
"Let's try some inspiration, then. Finn come down."
He placed a chair in the middle of the girls and then motioned for the music to start. If anything it was worse. Quinn stood in front of Finn and sang the opening verse. Finn sat in the chair looking at the floor, with his elbows on his knees and his ears bright red. The other girls mumbled through the song, no one meeting Quinn's eyes.
Mr Schue stopped the music again.
"Wrong kind of inspiration…OK." He looked up and scanned the room.
"Puck."
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Oh Crap! Did he mean me? I mean, look at my boy, Finn, dying out there. And two of those chicks are supposed to really like him. Those girls looked like a PMS bitch-fest and my spidey sense was telling me that no one with nuts would be safe in the middle of that. I had had sex with two of those girls, made out with a third and had some seriously dirty thoughts about the others. What? I am a guy.
On the other hand, I am The Man. If anyone can survive the catfight that was about to erupt it is me. And if one of those babes happens to rip the shirt off one of the others, I want to have the best seat in the house. I jump down and take Finn's seat.
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Mr Schue looked at Puck as he slouched in the chair with legs extended and one arm along the chair back. Confident. Cocky. Definitely a different energy from Finn.
"Ok ladies, let's try again. This time, Santana switch parts with Quinn."
Santana moved in front of Puck and narrowed her eyes as she started singing.
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Honey, Honey how he thrills me
Aha honey, honey.
Honey, Honey nearly kills me
Aha honey, honey.
Whoa! Santana was really putting her all into the song. She must really want a lead part. She looked me straight in the eye and gave me that look. The look that I remembered from when we were dating. The one that said "Come and get me, now." I thought about giving her what she was asking for, but her hand slid down the front of her cheerio uniform and she leaned forward and put her hand on my thigh.
I've heard about him before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean
He's a love machine
Oh, he makes me dizzy.
Then Santana spun away and was replaced by Brittany. Now, I won't pretend that she hasn't spent some time starring in my dreams, usually with one of the other Cheerios. She sang most of her part facing away from me swaying that tight ass.
Honey, Honey let me feel it
Aha honey, honey
Honey, Honey don't conceal it
Aha honey, honey
To be honest, I was having a hard time concealing my body's reaction to all the booty shaking. These girls were seriously hot.
Before I knew what was happening, my lap was full of the stuttering chick. She sat on one of my knees like I was Santa and looked at me like she was about to tell me she had been a bad girl.
The way that you kiss goodnight
The way that you hold me tight
She shifted so that she was facing away from me and her blue streaked hair slid down my chest as she tipped her head back to my shoulder. She wiggled her hips in time to the music. Holy Shit! Was I getting a lap dance from the gleek?
I feel like I want to sing
When you do your THING!
I wanted to grab her and do my thing, but she jumped up and Quinn moved in front of me. She placed one foot on my chair between my lags, dangerously close to my junk and sang:
Honey, Honey touch me, baby
Aha honey, honey
Now how could I refuse a command like that? Feeling slightly light headed, I put my hand on her thigh and it slid up as she leaned forward.
Honey, Honey hold me, baby
Aha honey, honey
My body was having an easier time keeping up with what was going on than my brain. My head was grabbed from behind and I was pressed into what could only be cleavage belonging to the chick whose name was a car. Porshe? BMW? No that'd be a stupid name, like Drizzle. Like I said my brain wasn't working; there was just too much soft skin touching me.
You look like a movie star
But I love just who you are
And Honey to say the least
You're a dog gone Beast!
With the last word she released me and her name popped into my head. Mercedes.
Now Rachel was all I could see in front of me. The music slowed and she knelt between my knees.
Honey, Honey how you thrill me
Aha honey, honey
Honey, Honey nearly kill me
Aha honey, honey
She stared into my eyes as if she was thinking about every kiss I had given her. She touched her finger tips to her lips as if she could still feel my lips there.
I heard about you before
I wanted to know some more.
She placed that hand on my cheek and I couldn't help myself, I had to turn my head and kiss her palm. She slid her hand down my neck until it rested over my pounding heart.
Now I'm about to see what you mean to me….
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Author's note: This is based on the version of "Honey, Honey" from Mama Mia! As sung by Amanda Seyfried.