An: OK so this is my first even Fanfiction so please be kind. I welcome any constructive criticism, but please no you sucks or you're stupid. Just a warning there is so child abuse and self harm in this chapter. I would like to dedicate this story to my friend Chrmdpoet. With out her help and encouragement I would have never been able to write this story. Please go read her work if you have not already.

And as you all know I own nothing.

Chapter 1 Memories in Hell

Emma Swan was a lonely young woman. She was eighteen with piercing green eyes, and long golden blonde hair that fell down her back in ringlets. She sat curled up on the bed in her small 8x10 cell. Her hand ghosting across her stomach where just a few days ago life had grown.

It was painful sitting in the Arizona heat, the blazing sun shining down unmercifully upon her porcelain white skin. Sweat rolled down her back as she sat unmoving, only the small rise and fall of her chest gave away that the young girl still lived. It only added to the misery she felt at the loss of her son.

Her son, the little life that had grown inside her for the last nine months. Her son, who had been the only comfort she ever had, had in this hell. The image of the social worker walking away with him in his little blue blanket still haunted her. It was all she could see when she closed her eyes.

She could not bring herself to hold him when they had offered him to her. It may have seemed cold, but she knew that if she had held him, he would be real and she would keep him. Oh God, did she want him. She wanted her baby so much, but she knew that she had nothing to give him. She was a teen orphan, with no job, or a place to live. She had no one to help her look after him.

All she had to her name was the old yellow Bug that Neal had sent to her. She could still not understand what had driven the ass-hat to send her the thing after everything he had done to her. Like it was suppose to make up for being in this hell or for not being able to keep her baby. Not that he knew about the kid.

Neal...the thought of him just added to her pain. Neal had been her best friend, her confidant, and her...lover. She had never really loved Neal, not in the romantic sense. But he had loved her, or at least she thought he had. Emma knew that she was not attracted to males. She had only been with Neal because he had been pushing for a relationship, and she had been scared that her friend would leave her if she didn't have sex with him. So, she had grit her teeth and went through with it. But she had never really liked kissing him...or sleeping with him. Not that the sex had been all that bad really. It felt good, but it had always felt wrong somehow. It was hard to tell now what was real and what was fake about their relationship.

She had met Neal almost a year ago. She had been walking down this back ally when she had spotted this old beat up yellow Bug. As soon as she saw it she knew she had to have it. So she broke in and in the middle of hot wiring it, Neal had popped up out of the back seat. At first she thought he was the owner of the car then she found out that he had stolen the car before her.

Neal had been charming and sweet. They ran all kinds of scams together. One of them would distract the people and the other would steal what they needed. Ironically the scam they most often used was her playing at being pregnant. You would be amazed how distracting a bumbling pregnant woman could be in a store. Not that she need the help getting by. There was no door that could keep her in or out if she really wanted what was on the other side. Nor could people see her if she really didn't want them too. The world just seemed to bind to her will when she really wanted something. Not that she paid it any mind. Odd things just happened around her.

Things would fall off the walls or shelves around other shoppers and workers, when she need them to look the other way. Doors that had been locked would not be when she went to open them. And sometimes people just didn't seem to see her even when she was standing right in front of them. She never really felt it was odd. It was the way things always happened around her. She just thought it was normal.

She sighed and pulled her thoughts away from Neal, and back to her son. One of the only things she could do for her baby was make sure he had not gone to a foster home like she had. She made them find him a family. Someone who would adopt him. Someone who could love him in all the ways she could not. She tried to draw strength from that. That he would be well looked after that he would have a real home, food, toys, and above all love. All the things she never had growing up.

She knew that she needed to think of something, else anything. She could not stay depressed like this. If she did she was going to die and she knew it. Either her body would give out or she would end up taking matters into her own hands again. She glanced down to the insides of her wrist, she could just make out the crisscrossing scar lines that could only be seen if you knew what you were looking for.

She had been thirteen when she had made the scars. She had been living in a foster home run by the church. The head priest, Father Paul, had caught her making out with one of the other girls. The girl, Samantha Reed, had been her first crush. A year older, long red hair and deep blue eyes. She had these cute little freckles on her face.

Father Paul was one of those old school priest. All fire and brimstone he believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child". He was well known to the children for his corporal punishment. He had this big studded leather belt that he would use on the troublemakers. To help enforce his lesson he would make all the other kids watch as he hit you with it.

Samantha had been the Father's favorite. She could do no wrong in his eyes. So when Sam claimed that Emma had forced the kissed on her, even when it had been Sam who kissed Emma. And that she had not wanted to. Father Paul not only took her word for it, but was enraged. He had tied Emma to the stairway banister and whipped her across her back. She got 20 lashes, no one have ever gotten more than five before as far as any of the kids knew. Paul made sure that he hit her in such a way that he broke the skin with each hit. Emma's back had looked like raw meat when he was done.

She was taken to the nurse to be treated afterwards. She was bedridden for almost a week. After only a week all of her cuts had been almost completely healed. Only a few white crisscrossing scares were the only evidence of what had happened to her. When she had be let out of the infirmary Sam would not even look at her. Whether from shame or not wanting to get into trouble again; Emma didn't know.

That night, Emma had locked herself in the bathroom after everyone had gone to bed. She sat down in the tub with one of the older boys' razors. She sat there for a long just staring at the blade, as if unsure where it had come from. Then ever so slowly she drew the blade across her skin, one wrist then the other. She watched as warm sticky blood ran down her arms in thin lines. Then the blood had suddenly stopped. She looked down at her wrist only to see that the cuts were gone. Emma stared dumbly down at her own skin, before making another cut. Slowly over the next fifteen seconds, she watched as the cuts closed all on their own.

For some reason it just pissed her off. So she cut deeper and harder into her skin, but no matter what she did the cuts kept healing. Finally she threw the blade across the room and just fumed in the tub still covered in blood. Letting out a tired sigh she washed all the blood away and returned that razor to the counter where she found it. She left the bathroom and went to bed. But not before putting her blood stained clothes into a trash bag and tossing it into the dumpster.

Emma push these thoughts away knowing that they would do her no good. She tried to think of something else something happy. Emma's mind came back to the dreams she had been having of late. They were odd. She had never been a big dreamer before now. Not that she could remember anyway, but these dreams were the only thing that could distract her from her thoughts.

The dreams had been coming off and on for the last few weeks. they were always centered around a young girl and her family. Emma tried to call up the last dream to the forefront of her mind. It was strange how easy it was. How the images and sound came to her as clear as they had been when she had slept. There was a young woman in her dreams. Always the same young woman. She had long dark brown hair, warm honey brown eyes that she could look into forever. She had nice tan skin, nothing like Emma's own sickly pale complexion.

She had on a light blue riding jacket, with dark brown riding pants and matching knee high boots. Her name was Regina, and she was the most beautiful woman Emma had ever seen.

Regina had been out riding, a strong dark brown horse under her. They moved together as if they were one being. Leaping over hurdles at tremendous speeds. Her father a slightly portly man with a bolding head, named Henry, stood off to the side cheering for her. It was the only time that Emma could really say that Regina looked truly free. Regina's smile was wide and lit up her face in a way that made her look like an angel.

She rode up alongside her father smiling happily down at him, until her mother came strolling across the field. Cora looked like a older...harder version of Regina. Emma could tell that the woman had faced many hardships in her life. The look the woman had in her eye when she looked at Regina made a shiver run down Emma's spine. it was not the happy, loving look of a mother. It was a look of carefully concealed distain.

Emma hated this woman, Cora, for how she treated Regina. Cora was controlling, manipulative, and abusive; both emotionally and physically. She made her displeasure known to Regina. How unlady like she was being. How she would never find a good husband this way.

Angered by these words Regina made to storm away from her Mother only to be stopped in mid-step. She was hoisted into the air her body covered in a blue energy field of some kind . It was like magic. Regina was spun slowly around to face her mother, the look of fear on her face. Cora stood not far away her hand making a claw like motion as if she were holding something up her hand glowing the same shade of blue. She held Regina in the air, a look of glee in her eye at the power she held over her daughter.

Regina pleaded with her mother to let her go, telling her that she was sorry. Reminded Cora that she didn't like magic, yes magic Cora was a witch and a powerful one at that. She used her magic to get whatever she wanted and seemed to have a sick fascination with stealing the living hearts of others. There was only one thing Cora respected and that was power. Cora cared little for the pain of her daughter, or this show of weakness on her daughter's part. She finally let the girl go, after informing her of how Cora expected better of her from now on.

Regina looked over to where her father still stood. His head dropped in shame as he was unable to protect his daughter. Henry was a kind hearted man who loved his daughter more than anything, but he was a coward when it came to Cora. He could never bring himself to stand up to his wife and protect Regina from her not matter how much he wish to.

Regina stormed away to the stables to put away her things. There she met a handsome young man with brown hair and matching eyes. Daniel the stable boy, was a kind young man who looked after the horses on Regina's estate. He was also Regina's secret love. A green eyed monster rose up inside of Emma. Seeing the boy place a comforting hand on Regina's arm. A voice whispered in the back of her mind "mine". As much as Emma hated the thought of him touching Regina she was glad for the comfort that he was able to give her when she could not. The two shard a kiss and soft words before Regina was called back to the house.

That was where the last dream had ended. They were such odd dreams.