Letting Go
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Sandra/Gerry
Rating:- K
Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/
Summary:-
Author's Note:- In answer to Beth's challenge to write a fic where one character gets rid of something another character loves. Slightly angsty but hopefully with an ok ending! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely.
"I swear woman have an unparalleled ability to hoard crap!" Gerry muttered passing the third cardboard box from Sandra's attic to Brian who in turn handed it to Jack who took it down the stairs.
"This is why I told Esther we're never moving!" Brian agreed as the final box came his way. "There's almost 40 years of accumulated stuff in my attic Mark can have the job of sorting it out when we're both gone if we started now we'd end up divorces or Esther would kill me."
"I'd say she'd probably kill you and get away with it too, we'd be witnesses for the defence right Gerry?" Jack laughed as they joined him down stairs with the final box and Gerry nodded his agreement."
"Damn right we would we've seen what you can be like if someone throws out a paperclip off your desk if it came to actually sorting your loft out and she killed you she'd get off on a self-defence plea no problem." He smiled. "In saying that I may have killed Sandra by the time we actually move into the new place. Why would anyone keep a box with some mouldy old kids' books? Jack this box is for the skip."
"Gerry don't you think you should wait till Sandra gets back before making decisions about her belongings?" Brian asked stopping Jack in his tracks as he headed for the front door.
"That's a good point Gerry I mean it may look like a load of old books and to us to us but it could be important to Sandra."
"Look the skip company are going to be here any minute to pick it up and she told me to make sure that everything that had to be thrown out was in it before it went." Gerry sighed taking the box from Jack and heading for the front door just as her heard the familiar beeping of the skip lorry backing into the driveway and got the box into it just before it was lifted. "There now that wasn't so hard was it?"
"Why do I get he's feeling he's going to regret that?" Brian asked quietly turning to Jack as Gerry carried on back up the stairs again.
"Because he probably is and I'll tell you something I wouldn't like to be him when she realises it's gone if it was something important." Jack agreed "That's the point where he may find murder would be preferable to what she'll do to him."
"Gerry I'm back sorry it took so long I swear my mother has a sixth sense for knowing when I'm in a hurry and is deliberately obstructive." Sandra called dropping her handbag in the hall before heading through to the kitchen where he was plating up dinner,
"Don't worry about it we got almost very thing done and I made sure we got the rubbish into the skip before they picked it up." Gerry smiled setting the plates on the kitchen table as she gave him a quick kiss before pouring the wine.
"Great. Jack and Brian have been great when we're finished the move we owe them a curry or something. At least now there's just the attic to do and we're ready."
"it's done." Gerry said proudly nodding as she stopped eating with a forkful of risotto on it's way to her mouth and stared at him.
"Where did you put the stuff that was up there? I was planning on doing it tomorrow."
"I put the old suitcases and empty boxes in the skip other than that there were only four boxes . I left the ones with photos and the Christmas decorations and stuff up in the spare room to put away when we move into the new place.
"There should have been a box that I brought from Mum's when she went into Whitemead it's the one I really want to make sure goes with us." Sandra replied her eyes narrowing as she saw the colour drain slightly from his face. "Gerry you better not have thrown anything out without letting me go through it first. Where did you say you put the ones you kept? In the spare room?"
"Sandra wait….." Gerry called as she abandoned her dinner and headed for the stairs ignoring his comments. "Look finish your dinner first then we can look at them."
"I'm not hungry anymore." Sandra shouted as he reached the door of the spare room and saw her standing over the three boxes he hadn't thrown out anger flashing across her eyes. "Gerry where is it? You better have a bloody good explanation and it better be somewhere else in this house or I swear I'll never forgive you. Where is it?"
"Look I checked what was in them all and the one I threw out was just junk, teddy bears, books, stuff like that it wasn't anything important." He said quietly knowing it was the most half-hearted defence attempt and that he was in serious trouble as her fists bunched angrily at her side and she stormed past him into their bedroom slamming the door and turning the lock. "Sandra why have you locked the door, I'm sorry ok but I don't know what you're getting so upset about it was…."
"It was my childhood Gerry. It was all I have left of the time when I believed I had a great life with parents who loved each other and loved me. Thirty years it sat in Mum's attic and then when she sold up I brought it here it was the only thing from the house that I took, the only links with my past were in that box and you threw it in a skip without so much as asking me what it was." Sandra shouted as he heard tears in her voice and knew that he wasn't going to have an easy job getting her to unlock the door as he slid down the wall so he was sitting on the floor beside the bedroom door.
"I'm sorry sweetheart I didn't know it just looked like the sort of stuff everyone has knocking around in their attic." He said quietly mentally kicking himself for not listening to Jack and Brian when they'd told him to wait. "What was in it exactly?"
"Toys, my favourite books that my Dad used to read to me, birthday cards, school certificates, just stuff Gerry but stuff that was important to me and now it's gone, you've just thrown out my past and you don't seem to have realised what you've done."
"I do realise and I'm sorry if I could take it back and not do it I would." Gerry sighed trying to think of what he could say to make her see he respected her need to hold on to her past but that he wanted them to focus on the future. "I know how important you're past is Sandra and I know you want to keep what few things you have from then but can't you see that that box of old things is just things, it doesn't change the fact I should have waited and consulted you before throwing it out but the things aren't want makes your memories. The stories behind those things are what's important, the way you played with the toys, the way your dad read to you, the times you won the school certificates, the birthdays the cards were for. No one can take that away just by throwing out some stuff."
"It doesn't change the fact you should have checked with me first!" Sandra said quietly leaning her forehead against the closed door as she heard him sigh heavily.
"I know and I really am sorry I was focused on us and on the move, on trying to get it all done so we're ready to start a new chapter in the new house, our house. I didn't expect you to forget about your past Sandra none of us can do that I just want to focus on the future. I love you, all of you including the past that made you what you are but I want our future more."
"I want that too." She said quietly, turning the lock and opening the door as he tried to get up the way he stumbled, his knees cracking making her smile. "I haven't forgiven you but I'm prepared to accept that you didn't realise how important it was."
"I really didn't you know I'd never do anything to deliberately hurt you." He smiled pulling her into his arms once he'd finally managed to get up. "But the past is the past our life together is the future."
"I know." Sandra sighed staring at him and feeling a slight pang of guilt at the way she'd reacted. He was right a box of things that she'd looked at once in thrity years wasn't what made her past what it was. She knew she'd been keeping the things as a sort of security blanket, something physical that she knew she could go to and touch and smell and hold but that wasn't important in the grand scheme of things. They were about to move into their first home, make a life for themselves and in truth she'd never been happier so maybe he'd done her a favour. Maybe he'd given her the push she needed to let go, finally move on and accept that the past was gone. Now that she'd got over the initial shock it wasn't so bad after all not that she was planning on telling him that. Not just yet anyway.