A/N: Hey guys... this is my first time writing a degrassi fic. I know i know crazy right? Well i have posted a few ONE TREE HILL fanfics on other sites but decided i needed a change! I'm not sure how it will come out in the end but i hope you all enjoy it! feedback is greatly apreciated... good or bad! :)
Disclaimer: I doNOT own ANYTHING or ANYONE....(poor me)
So it's the begining of yet another day at Degrassi Community School. Oh how I dread being here. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I used to enjoy all of this. Thrive on the day when I could beat some silly grade seventh at a shot of being titled "school President." But of course that was a good 2 years ago. So much has changed since then. Now the once wanna be school leader has turned into... well into a more than troubled sophomore. A lost soul even. Anyone who thinks they know me have come to those assumptions. The assumptions in which I am troubled, angry, lost, annoyed and just another teen searching to find her inner self. And who knows maybe they're right about me. Maybe I am all those things and I'm not quite sure on who I am or want to be. Maybe in my eyes I have become sickening and I'm searching to find something more. And... well maybe I'm just finally through with being the same old Ashley Kerwin.
Walking through the deserted halls I open my locker and looks to all the pictures displayed there. My past lies within these photos and while I examine each one closely I notice the smiles. It seems almost ages since my face has been portrayed in such a way. Where have all those smiles gone. I shake my head trying to fight the soon to come tears as my finger then grazes over a very familiar memory. The photo contains a once or at least what I thought to be happy twosome. I remember that day best. It was one of my happiest times. We had just gone to a carnival of some sort and suprisingly had a blast together. After pigging out on several hot dogs, playing a few games, and riding the bumper cars we headed for one of those photo booths. His arm placed loosely around the midriff of my waist, my body leaning into his, and smiles showing on both our faces. It made for a perfect snapshot or once did. Now holding it just brought back the pain. It has been a couple of months since Craigs and my relationships hit the rocks and still the hurt from it all is evident. Many times he has tried apologizing, saying he's sorry but the scars are still deep within. I can't just simply forget, or even forgive. Maybe down the road years from now I can look at Craig and see good. But right now the past Craig Manning is just an illusion of my imagination. One I choose to put behind. Tracing the snapshot one last time I bring my now shaky hands to the center. Taking a deep breath I slowly sent a rip down the photo, making it two.
"Goodbye Craig manning." I whisper and let my tears fall. "Forever."
Here I was standing in front of Degrassi community school with Jay, Alex, and Amy. My so called "friends." I wasn't to thrilled to be here and thought of walking but that would just result in more trouble. I let out a frustrating sigh while running my hands sown along my face. Today was the start of a new week. A Monday coming off of a very exhausting weekend. So much changed in the past two days and it kills me for the actions I had to take but not a day will go by that I'll regret it... The day I sent my girlfriend away....
FLASHBACK:
Waking up I could feel the sunlight on my face. Groaning a bit I looked to the window blinds widely opened. Squinting a bit and not so fully awakened I turned to the alarm clock resting on my nightstand. The numbers blinked 8:30 a.m.
"Ugh who the heck wakes up before noon on a freaking Saturday?" I asked groggily to myself.
Throwing the covers off my body I made my way over to the bathroom. Hearing the water running I let out a sigh. Knocking on the door I spoke loudly.
"El? Baby can you hurry up in there? I need to take a piss." Not hearing a reply I just moved along to the living room and over to Boulers cage. It's funny when Ellie first brought him home I wasn't so thrilled to say the least. I guess I wasn't so fond of the idea that we would be having this live ferret as our family pet. But now...well I actually have grown fond of the little guy. Taking a few rodent pellets into my hand I placed them into Boulers bowl.
"I'm telling you bud woman... they can drive us men crazy. I mean think about it They take forever in the bathroom primping themselves and all that other junk and in the end they come out looking the same as when they first entered. What's with that?" I look down at Bouler and release a slight laugh. "And I'm talking to a ferret." Shaking my head and continuing to chuckle a bit I walked once again back over to the bathroom doorway. Plastering my ear against the surface. Yep the water was still running. Knocking at the door more abruptly this time I waited for a response.
"El come on will you hurry it up in there? Ellie?"
Once again getting silence I grew curious. Reaching for the door I spoke one last time. "Ellie is everything alright in there? I'm… I'm coming in." Slowly opening the door I finally made out my girlfriends voice.
"Wait! Hang on one…" Her voice trailed off when she noticed my presence. I gripped the knob tightly as I scanned over the scene. She was standing in front of me a towel wrapped around her tiny frame, tears evident on her face, blood dripping from the open cut on her thigh, and her black CD case lying face down on the bathroom sink. I shook my head in disgust as I moved closer and let my voice boom.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING EL? GOD YOU SAID YOU WERE THROUGH! YOU SAID IT WASN'T WORTH IT! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? HUH? WHY WOULD YOU JEPERDIZE EVERYTHING?!" I was fuming with anger and worry. I couldn't believe she could do this to herself or to me for that matter. She just looked at me like I was crazy before reaching to touch my arm.
"Sean I… I didn't.." Not giving her a second to finish I let my words cut through her own.
"ANSWER ME DAMMIT!" With one quick swing I sent her black CD case flying across the room scattering all her "Utensils" across the room. I heard her whimper and immediately forgot about my anger.
"S..Sean you're scaring me." She let out a cry as my eyes traveled over to her cut. Realizing now was not the time to be mad and a good time to help my girlfriend in need. I quickly rushed to the sink.
"God Ellie… I…I'm sorry." Rushing to grab a cloth from the bathroom closet I merged it with cold water and brought it back over to her. Taking her waist in my hands I propped her onto the counter and gently placed the cold cloth onto the opening. Noticing her wince I gave a look of sympathy.
"I wasn't yelling because I was mad it's just…"
"Yeah i.. I understand Sean and for what its worth I'm sorry."
"DON'T!… just don't apologize okay?" I watched as Ellie sighed and nodded. Wiping her tears with my thumb I placed a soft kiss to her cheek . "We'll get through this baby… Somehow."
END OF FLASH BACK: