The bell over the door jingled merrily as Alice walked into the hat shop. Light dimly filtered through the window past the shelves packed with hats of all shapes, sizes, and colors that rested on top of faceless busts. Alice's eyes lit with excitement as she viewed the exotic array of styles and cloths. For the last two years hat shopping had become her guilty pleasure. She barely glanced at the shop owner when he walked out of the supply room and asked if he could help her. He, like all the other hat shopkeepers, had probably learned the trade from his father, who learned it from his father before him, and would be much happier doing something else.
"I want to by a hat. I am afraid I am going to be rather difficult, as I do not know what kind or color. Just whatever you would suggest." He gestured to a stool in front of a three-piece mirror. She sat primly and properly in a way that two years ago would have brought tears to her mother's eyes. The business world had taught her one thing, if people saw what they expected they were less likely to disbelieve slightly strange ideas. Like trading with China or a female partner in a company.
The man got out some measuring string and asked, "What, if I may be so bold to ask, is the occasion?" He stretched out a length of string next to her head. "Trying to impress your husband? Or suitor, beau -" She shook her head interrupting his questions and his measuring. "I'm not married or attached to anyone." The hatter paused and then continued measuring. "Really? I would think such a fine woman such as yourself would have her pick of the lot." She sighed remembering she would be having a similar conversation with her mother and sister a week ago when she returned home. "There is only one man I have ever felt" she hesitated "attached to and well he is not…" she hesitated searching for a word. "Local?" the hatter offered a bit absent-mindedly from behind her. She heard the soft snip of cutting cloth as she tried to explain it.
"I have this memory…of a dream. Some days I remember many fantastic things about where I was and whom I met. Others I only can think of things through a fog." There was a tearing sound and then the click click click of a sewing machine with something caught in it. After a few seconds of soft cursing the hatter asked, "and your man?"
"Well obviously, since it was just a dream, so was he." She replied. She felt her hair move as a hat was set upon her head and she returned her attention to the mirror. Her eyes widened as she saw the hat and she turned really looking at the man for the first time since entering the shop. For once, she had been fooled into seeing what she expected and only now saw the truth. His eyes were both sad and kind as he replied, "Only if you believe it to be."
Both hope and doubt warred in her as she stared at him taking in how his normal looking clothing clashed with his bright red hair. "You're just a figment of my over active imagination." She half asked half stated. She wanted to reach out and touch him but was afraid he would vanish if she tried. For a moment, he just looked at her and then he smiled with a wicked grin and gave her a slow sweet kiss on the lips.
She must have closed her eyes though she did not remember doing so, when she opened them he was still there, smiling. "Does that prove I'm real Alice?" She blushed embarrassed and had no way of knowing how very pretty she looked to the hatter then. Before she could say anything, he asked quickly "So have you found your answers then? You've asked them all, seen the world, and become successful-" She nodded and with a mischievous grin of her own said "Yes and hatter, I even learned why a raven is like a writing desk." Distracted in spite of himself he asked, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
"Because there is a B in both and an N in neither." She had asked many people that question and had found few answers, though all the ones she had received were correct in their way. None had truly satisfied her as the answer. One morning, she woke up after dreaming she had lost her muchness and thought of her answer to the riddle. She believed it was an appropriate answer, as the question seemed to require a non-answer so it could remain a non-question. Alice explained this to her sister once, who replied she must be mad. Now watching the hater's face break into a delighted smile she rather thought her father was right and all the best people were.
"Alice I have another riddle for you to solve," the hatter said grabbing a hold of her by the shoulders, suddenly very serious. "What fastens two people but only touches one?" She thought for a moment and then threw her arms around his neck. Tightly he held her and softly he said "Time to go home Alice." He pulled his hat down from her head to stretch it magically over both of their heads until it enveloped both of them. Suddenly they vanished and it is assumed they lived ever after in under land.