Quite Right Too
Watching her grab hold and kiss the man he longed to be was hard enough. The man who held his likeness in all ways but one, the man that could give her what she yearned. Forever. He was her Doctor now, hers and hers alone. Yet watching the pair of them embrace struck up a twinge of jealousy inside of him, envious of the life he could never have. She would be there to look after her own Doctor, and him her; and as much as it killed him to know he would never physically see her again, he was glad that in the end he had made her happy.
Leaving her was pure heartbreak; both his hearts bled when he turned and left her on the beaches of Norway. He let Donna take the controls for a moment so he could sink away and have a moment to himself. She didn't have to ask why, all the information she needed was in her own mind, and in tears that had left their sorrowful trails glistening on his cheeks. He regretted not saying those three little words that she had wanted to hear. If only he had used his time more wisely the first time they had to say goodbye, but he tried to be cheeky and only managed to get her name past his lips. A name he would remember for the rest of his very long lifetime.
His song was indeed coming to an end. The knocks had already been heard, far too soon in his opinion, and though his body was already beginning to show signs of change he sought out the ones he had cared for most in his short lived form. He saved her for last; setting the course for the year they first met. His time was nearly up and all he wanted was the last cherished memory he saw to be her. Just one more glance of the one who had changed him from the inside out.
Lurking in the shadows of the street, he watched her from afar. Her smile, her laugh, the impossible amount of joy that radiated from her body all gently soothing his wounded soul. The pressure on the inside of his body was building, causing him to double over in pain; and as luck would have it she turned to look at him. Of course to her he was nothing but a drunken man stumbling over his own feet on the way home. If she only knew how much he loved her, and still in this moment he longed to tell her. After all if she assumed him nothing but a harmless stranger who had drank a bit too much perhaps she would shrug it off and believe he thought she was someone else. But no. He had his chance and he blew it, twice, and now he couldn't interfere with past. He wished she would just turn and go, leave him alone to fester in his current state of despair.
"You all right, mate?"
But no, not his Rose. His beloved Rose who was so completely human and had a heart bigger than the pair of his combined. It was only natural for her to be concerned about his well-being.
"Yeah," he lied. He was anything and everything but all right.
"Too much to drink?" she innocently asked.
"Something like that." The only thing he had been drinking in was her mere existence over the years and that surely was enough to at least give him the feeling of being drunk.
"Maybe it's time you went home."
"Yeah." Home. Not likely, his home was long gone, as were the people in it. She was his true home and he'd never be with her. Not anymore.
"Anyway, happy new year!" she said with a smile he would keep with him for the rest of eternity.
"And you."
He mournfully watched as she turned and began to walk away. The cracks in his hearts grew louder and louder with each step she took in the opposite direction; and taking one last chance he called out.
"What year is this?"
"Blimey, how much have you had?" she laughed
He just sort of shrugged, "Well…" Eagerly waiting for her to keep on speaking to him.
"2005, January the first."
"2005." Soon enough she would find herself holding hands with a strange man and running for her life. The same strange man she would grow to love and shortly after break her heart before making her whole again.
She smiled and nodded.
"Tell you what," he said, swallowing the building lump in his throat and holding back tears. "I bet you're gonna have a really great year."
"Yeah?" she grinned.
It was too much for him to say anymore, the back of his throat already stinging and the moisture pooling in his eyes. So he simply gave her a weak one sided grin and a slight nod.
The smile remained across her winter kissed face.
"See ya," she beamed turning and jogging off through the door that was just across from them. She looked back at him once more, just before the door closed and she bounded up the stairs. And he stood and watched, with a sad smile on his face and glossy eyes as the one he loved made her way out of his life.
With a new face and a much more eccentric personality he continued onward. Naturally he gained a new traveling companion in Amelia Pond and shortly after her husband was part of his crew. Though while he pushed through each day with an awkward smile and cheesy one liners, he still found himself thinking of his beloved while he slept. He told himself the on that New Year's day he wouldn't risk attempting to see her again on the chance he would do something to disturb her time line, so he decided he would honor her memory the best way he knew how.
The harsh wind whipped around his body and the skies were threatening rain, and there stood The Doctor, with a single rose clutched in his one hand while the other traced the letters on the cool granite marker.
Rose Marion Tyler
1986-2009
Beloved daughter of Jackie and Pete Tyler
Everyone leaves home in the end.
He snickered at the engraving, the last bit being Mickey's idea no doubt. Of course she wasn't dead, not really, only to this universe and perhaps, just maybe he would come to think of her as dead some day as well. Gently he pressed his lips to the petals and knelt down to place it on the ground beside the stone. Wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes he whispered.
"I do love you Rose Tyler, more than you'll ever know."
With each year that passed he did the same. A single rose, tear stained cheeks, and a heartfelt "I love you." When earth met its end he had a new marker made for her on New Earth just so he could continue to honor her each year. He had changed faces so many times now, had so many companions and even a few frantic kisses. But nothing could fill the void in his soul like the one he had many years ago. He never stopped loving her, he just got better at hiding his sorrow as time marched on…and on…and on. Eventually the time came where he had reached his limit. He no longer felt the need to keep fighting the long hard battles that hardly anyone even knew existed. His song had ended long ago and it took her with it; now as he sat propped up against the cold grey slab for the last time, clutching both a flower and a familiar tattered blue and purple top. He wasn't sure what would happen when his soul finally perished, but in his hearts he knew somehow they would wind up together again. For what was the point of living if he didn't have her to look forward to in the end.
So it was with a sigh and a weak smile on his face that his story came to an end. A story that above all things was moved by a love once lost and now in death would be found again. A single tear made its final trek down his cheek and he whispered aloud.
"Forever Rose, as it should be."
A/N: This is my first go at a Doctor Who fic, and I apologize profusely for making it so horribly depressing. The angst monster took hold my brain and refused o let go. Has yet to be betaed but it is in the works, so I will re-load it when it's all done. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed. Let me know!
-Shelly
