A Fresh Start
Summary: Steve and Tony leave hell and come to earth. What will the future hold for them?
A/N: Assume this one takes place an indefinite period of time before the pilot episode.
Disclaimer: Don't own it, have no money, you know the drill.
The ground that had opened up left a deep, wide crack that automatically sealed up as the duo popped out. The two brushed the grainy asphalt off their clothes and examined their surroundings.
"It's…cooler than I thought it would be," said the taller of the two. "And humid."
Steve glanced at Tony "Well, anyplace is bound to be cooler than the pyres down there. This place gets water, Tony. Rain."
"Mmm." Tony sounded non-committal. Steve could tell he still wasn't convinced leaving hell was a good idea.
They'd argued about it for days. Back and forth, back and forth. Slaving away for the Devil was just that, Steve insisted. They would never get anywhere else if they stayed in hell. No chance to be anything else but Satan's servants. What kind of way was that to spend eternity?
"What else are we supposed to do?" an exasperated Tony had cried. "We're demons. We're not angels anymore. What else is there?"
"We could go to earth."
The idea itself was enough to make Tony think Steve had lost his mind. "What about the Devil? You really think he's just going to let us take off like that? He's never going to agree to this."
But oddly enough, the Devil did agree. In fact, he was more than just agreeable about it – he was downright amused:
"So let me get this straight," the Devil had said laughingly "you want to leave hell and go to earth? The earth where humans toil every day for who-knows-how-long, that earth?" He slapped his knee, laughing.
"Yes," said Steve firmly. He linked his arm with Tony's. "We both do."
But Tony wasn't that convinced. "What's so funny?" he asked the Devil suspiciously.
"Boys, boys, boys. You do realize the expression where the expression 'hell on earth' comes from, right?" The Devil snickered at the stricken expression on Tony's face. "Because if you don't, you're going to find out damn quick. It's even worse up there than it is here! You have any idea what people are like there? Lie, steal, cheat, backstab, you name it they do it! Face it, if you want to spend your existence around loathsome creatures, this place isn't any worse than earth – it's probably better."
"That's not true," said Steve reassuringly to Tony, casting the Devil a withering look. "There are good people there, too. Not all of them end up here. And there are some of our kind there, too. Demons. We won't be alone."
The Devil shrugged. "Suit yourselves. Don't say I didn't warn you. Believe me, humans can be nastier than demons any day of the week. In fact, they are nastier." His grin widened.
And yet Tony had let Steve talk him into it.
"Now," said Steve, snapping Tony out of his reverie. "There are some places which are like hell on earth. We need to find one of them so we can get what we need. Kenneth said to look up one of his friends there, someplace called the DMV. Should be just a block or so away."
"What's that?" asked Tony nervously, trying to ignore the passersby who were staring at him. What was the matter of them? Hadn't they ever seen two soot-covered demons before? Oh, yeah…
"Department of Motor Vehicles. It's where humans get their cars, those vehicle things they use to move around," he cocked his head toward the street where a beige Toyota was parked. "Kenneth said his friend at the DMV would have some things for us. Think he said her name was Gilda or Gretchen, something like that…what was it?" Steve scratched his head thoughtfully. "Oh yes, Gladys."
They started to walk toward the DMV arm-in-arm, trying to ignore the strange looks people kept giving them. Steve squeezed Tony's arm comfortingly and tried to point out things to him: "Look, trees! Aren't they nice? They're turning red – that means the season is changing." Catching Tony's confused look, he added "It's what happens here. And look, there's a bird sitting in that tree over there! Isn't it beautiful?"
"Can we eat it?" asked Tony.
"Uh, no, Tony."
They reached the DMV, which was horrifically crowded with long lines. People kept staring at the demon horns on their heads. "What's with them?" they heard a teenaged, pimply kid mutter to his blonde, chubby friend. "Did Halloween get here early this year?"
"I don't know," whispered back Chubby. "Maybe they're going to a costume party," he snickered.
Tony was about to turn around and bite his head off (literally) when Steve grabbed his arm and restrained him. "It's okay, sweetie. Ignore them. Most humans don't know demons exist. They think we're wearing make-up."
"Oh." Looks like the Devil was right. It was going to be hard here. Were all humans judgmental jerks? And so dull-witted?
"Next!" A pudgy, sour-faced DMV employee gave them a meaningful look. Tony stared at her, puzzled, as Steve gently took his elbow and guided him to the woman.
Who wasn't a woman at all, he realized, as she lifted up her bangs and displayed her own demon horns.
"We're here to make a fresh start," said Steve in a low voice. Kenneth had told him she would know what that meant. "Are you Gladys?"
She rolled her eyes and shot him a well-duh-how-many-demons-do-you-think-work-here look. Lifting a hidden panel in the counter in front of her, revealing a secret compartment, she took out what looked like paperwork and brochures. "Here's everything you need," she droned in a bored voice, rubber-banding the pile and handing it to Steve. Tony caught glimpses of titles such as What You Need to Know About Earth, Facts About Humans and Their Offspring, and One Demon's Courageous Adjustment to Human Life. "You'll also find money and other things to help you get started, courtesy of DOE."
"Demons on Earth. It's the demon support organization for those of us who come here," Steve explained to Tony. "Does DOE meet on a regular basis?"
"Every now and then unofficially but we're trying to find a new place to hold the meetings," intoned Gladys. "But I am looking for someone to play raquetball with Tuesday nights, if either of you is interested." She pointed to the material she'd just given Steve as he carefully placed it in a plastic bag. "My number's in there if you're interested."
"Well, thanks for everything, Gladys," said Steve politely. "We should probably get going."
"Word of advice to you boys before you go," added Gladys tartly as she spied more curious starers in line. "Get a good sander and wear those horns down if you don't want these idiots staring. There's a home improvement place just down a few blocks away where you can get one. The Work Bench."
"We'll definitely check it out," assured Steve. Before he could say another word, Gladys yelled "Next!" and they took it as their cue to leave.
They walked out of the building, Steve juggling all the things Gladys had given him. "We should try and make it to the next DOE meeting if we can. Kenneth said there'd be one this week."
"Okay." Tony shrugged indifferently.
"I know it's going to be a big adjustment," said Steve gently. "But I really think it's going to be worth it, Tony! We'll get to really have a life here, not just have some pointless, banal existence like we did in hell."
"Have a life like the humans do?" said Tony doubtfully, thinking of the jeering they'd at the DMV.
"They're not all bad," said Steve stubbornly. "Trust me."
Tony sighed. Steve knew what he was going to say. "Wouldn't it be easier if we could just kill the Devil? I told you, that buddy of mine swears he's got a hold of the Archangel Michael's sword and-"
"No."
"But it'd be so easy-"
"No, Tony. I told you. It's the Devil. I know you think that's all it would take. But it's the Devil. It's not that easy. Trust me. The best way is to live the good life here, be a good person. It's the only way."
Tony looked way, unconvinced.
"The only way," echoed Steve. "Find a job, set up a home, raise a family, that kind of thing."
"Raise a family?" Tony looked taken aback. "You mean raise offspring? We can't do that!"
"I mean, that's the kind of thing humans do," said Steve quickly. "I didn't mean we had to do that." Or should do that, he thought to himself. There were demons desperate enough to want to raise brood, thinking that would make their chances of getting back into heaven as strong as possible.
What not all demons realized was that only the Devil could give them a child to raise. For which the Devil always asked them for something in return.
"I need to let Kenneth know we got this stuff." Steve fished into the plastic bag for a phone he'd seen Gladys put in. He dug around, not seeing it, then pulled out one of the brochures instead.
"He Tony, look at this!" He handed Tony the glossy, fold-out brochure with a bright sun pictured in one corner and a sandy beach with blueish-green water on the front cover.
"Cancun," Tony read out the title on the brochure slowly.
"One of the highest-rated vacation spots for demons," added Steve, reading the subtitle. "Looks like a nice place, huh?" He smiled indulgently. "What do you think? Maybe we could go there someday."
Tony stared at the water. It was the brightest shade of blue he'd ever seen, a beautiful sight, indeed. But nothing compared to the almost childishly excited look on Steve's face.
For the first time since they'd arrived there, Tony felt his spirits lift. "Maybe," he said, a hint of a smile on his face. "Maybe we could."