I stared at him in utter fascination. "Hello."

He responded promptly. "FILTHY HUMAN! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

Once more, I stared at him in utter fascination. "Nice… to meet you, too." I extended my hand and he blinked at it. He screeched.

"Good Lord! What's wrong with you? Shake my hand!"

The smallish green individual ceased his screeching. "Shake your… hand?"

I nodded. He thought for a moment.

"Does the shaking of a human hand represent your surrender of free will?"

"Mmmm… yes."

The tiny gloved limb rose and his little fingers wrapped around my index finger. We shook.

"Actually, I lied. It's a sign of respect."

"What?" His wide eyes got even wider. "I have respected you, filthy Earthling? NOOOO!"

I grinned maniacally. "Ha." He frowned at me.

"So… now what?"

"I'm Mia." I shook the little hand again. "Nice to meet you."

"Mia?"

Nodding, I smiled.

"I am… Zim."

"Zim?" He smirked as evil a smirk as he could manage. "That's a cute name."

Zim blinked. "Cute? What is this… 'cute'?"

"Cute is… cute things are visually appealing things. Things that inspire feelings of endearment and affection."

"Endearment and…? NOOOO!"

I flinched as he repeated his dismayed yowl.

"I cannot be cute! I am menacing! I am an invader!"

In attempt to be helpful, I said, "Can't you be a cute invader?"

He shook his head sullenly.

"Well… I think you're cute, and you think you're an invader. So that makes you a cute invader."

"But…" The tiny alien looked down, withdrawing his little hand. "I am menacing. I fill Earthlings with terror."

"Cute isn't bad." He looked up at me, blinking. "People are shallow. Our will is swayed by things we perceive as cute."

He looked up, little face suddenly hopeful. "Really?"

I gave a definitive nod.

"Really."

A smile spread across Zim's green face. "Of all the Earth scum I have encountered, you are the least scummy."

Smiling, I chimed, "I'm honored."

"It is strange." Puzzled, I cocked my head to the side. "You are relatively short for an adolescent human, yet you are intelligent."

Amused, I said, "I am?"

He nodded once, definitively, as I had done a moment before. "You are wise to assist me in domination of this putrid planet."

"I suppose I am," I agreed cheerily. Now his face was shadowed with what looked like concern.

"This 'cute'… how does it affect you Earth-creatures?"

"Well, it makes us happy and instills the urge to nurture and cater to whatever it is that's cute."

"Hmmm…" Zim crossed his arms, resting his chin on one open palm. "I do not need nurturing, but being catered to is essential to conquest…"

"Being cute also makes people want to pick you up and carry you around."

At this statement, he blinked at me. "Why?"

I smiled brightly. "Because we like to be associated with cute things."

"Ah. I see." He smiled proudly, and I scooped him up, situating him against my chest. "So you are also under the spell of my cuteness?"

"Undeniably," I replied.

"Good. Now take me to your refrigerator, human-creature."

"Yes, my master." Beaming, I carried the tiny alien into the kitchen.

LOL! I have no idea.

I'm almost a legal adult, yet I had never seen IZ until last Saturday when my little cousin made me watch it. At first I wasn't impressed, but I watched the first episode on YouTube, and I fell completely in love. Expect more short, green, boredom-induced random in the near future. :D

Friday, September 24, 2010. C: