My End and My Beginning
"He could pretend that it was a beautiful sunset, prompting him to scoff at the stupidity, for he knew that it wasn't a sunset that was coming at them." An Alternative Ending to the scene on the beach with Cassian and Jyn.
Author's Note: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY AND DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS CLICK AWAY NOW.
On the other hand, if you wished there could be an alternative ending for these two then I hope you'll like this. For the purpose of this story: C+J=R. :)
Rated T for mentions of violence, death and angst. Pairings: Cassian/Jyn.
Please let me know what you think
PLANET SCARIF, 0BBY
Cassian sighed and closed his eyes for one moment, as his knees gave way to the sand on the beach. He saw the red glow in the horizon and the white clouds, over the green forest of trees. He could pretend that it was a beautiful sunset, prompting him to scoff at the stupidity, for he knew that it wasn't a sunset that was coming at them.
"Cassian," the girl sat next to him said. "Are you…..?"
"I'm OK, mortally wounded by a blaster, dying but at least looking at a gorgeous sight," he attempted, yet the girl gave an apologetic look and nodded.
"I guess we can pretend it's a sunset and we're having a picnic together, haha," she whispered nervously.
"I wasn't talking about the sunset," Cassian croaked. If he thought Jyn's eyes, which looked like the twin moons of Fest guarding the planet, couldn't soften anymore he was grossly mistaken. She smiled wistfully at him, sending butterflies into his chest.
I wish I had met you before, or in another life, away from all of this, he lamented to himself. Where I could have taken the time to know you, where you could have known me.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You're father would have been proud," Cassian assured her. The pyroclastic cloud was incinerating the trees way in the distance to cinders, those trees that had been planted that were symbiotic to the life on this planet. The pair had minutes left before it would take them as well. "I hope he can forgive me."
"I forgive you," Jyn assured, taking hold of his hand, Cassian realised that she was trembling, so he squeezed back. "It wasn't your fault, he would have died that day anyway, by Krennic's orders if not by the Rebellion. I forgive you, Cassian Jeron Andor!" To his surprise she had correctly pronounced his middle name with the "h", clearly she had glimpsed his journal, but Cassian did not have the heart to berate her or feel angry in these final moments. So he just pulled her in for an embrace, his last one with her, turning her slender body away from the oncoming devastation. He hoped it would be painless, that the smoke and gas would kill them before they were incinerated- not for his sake but for Jyn's- she had endured enough pain to last a lifetime. For a moment, he considered using his blaster, just like he had with Tivik, that injured informant who he had to kill as a mercy to save him from being captured and tortured by the Empire- or so he had told himself over and over again. I hope you can forgive me too, Tivik…..
"Cassian, I'm scared," Jyn admitted.
He held her tighter, while dreading to ask her the next question. "I know, do you want me to…?" He was thankful he couldn't see her face, as he kept his eyes firmly on the radiation and the incineration of the Death Star rays; he could now feel the tremors of the planet's surface signaling that it was getting closer and closer.
"No, it's OK, I'm with you," she whispered. Her breathing now matched his and he closed his eyes, he felt her heart against his own chest, dancing with the rhythm of his own.
"All right," he assured, as if he had asked if she needed some headache tablets. He found his eyes tearing up as he remembered Kaytoo, Bodhi, Chirrut, Baze and all those who had come with him because he had asked them to. He felt his consciousness fading from him, he fought to stay awake, he would not leave Jyn to face this alone, so he held her tight, focused on stroking her back.
What would it be like to become one with the Force? What happens after? He wondered.
"Jyn?" he whispered. "I'm glad you're with me, you are my end. And my beginning….."
"And you're mine."
TOMADA, PLANET FEST, 19 ABY
Lena knocked on the door of the Professor's office. "Come in!"
She entered the homely room to find the young professor behind his desk, his black framed spectacles resting on his noes, his brown hair cut short but with the fringe angled up slightly with a bit of hair gel. On this warm day, his sleeves were rolled up and a pen was attached to his waistcoat pocket.
"Lena, how are you? How goes your Constitutional assignment?" the Professor asked, smiling broadly which along with his smooth clean shaven chin, made him look younger than his years.
"I'm good, Professor," Lena began. "It's going well, but I just wanted to discuss something else with you, if that's OK?"
"Of course," the Professor assured her. "Would you like a drink?" She said that water would be fine, so he rose to fetch that.
"I wanted to discuss the story of Rogue One," Lena said cautiously. The Professor stopped short and it seemed as if he was pondering something. "Yes, what about it?" he finally responded.
"It was a really courageous mission by Captain Cassian Andor, wasn't it?"
"There were several others who took part," the Professor said grimly, putting the plastic water cup in front of the student.
"Of course, sir," Lena agreed quickly, as if she realised that she may have caused offence. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"It's OK, you didn't, Lena," the smile returned.
"Thanks," Lena gave a nervous chuckle. "I just think it's so tragic that the crew stole the Death Star plans, allowing the Rebellion to find the weakness and save us all- we owe them our lives and freedom, yet apparently none of them made it out alive, is that true?"
"I'm afraid it is, that's the sad reality of war," the Professor said quietly. "People sacrifice their lives."
"Captain Andor, was he related to you?" Lena asked, nodding to the placard on his desk with the label: Prof. K H Andor.
"Yes, he was a cousin of mine, still is," the Professor replied evenly.
"I'm sorry," the student said simply. "I've been reading up on the history and I just wish that he or at least someone survived and lived to tell us the story."
"I know, Lena, but history is history, literature is literature and legend is legend- I wish I had a better answer. Look, even if Captain Andor was no more, he and his crew became one with the Force. Do not weep for the dead, it's just a natural path that we must all take one day. Rejoice those that have become one with the Force, and learn from their example and history." The Professor gave a warm nod.
"I suppose so," Lena sighed. "Do you believe in the Force, sir?"
"I believe there are many things that are real but we do not understand them, maybe we never will. Anyway, it's my daughter's birthday today- my wife will be very unhappy if I'm late! I'm sorry to cut this short, but we will have to resume this another time!" the Professor exclaimed jumping to his feet and seeing Lena out, satisfied that she was a little less melancholic.
Lena was a good student, no a great student! A short blonde with green framed glasses, but a hidden spunk. She was always on time, very studious, asked loads of questions, sometimes too many- the Professor feared that in some eras or systems that could prove dangerous for her.
He walked into the day outside, full of students and people bustling to get on a shuttle to the centre, he could hear the revving of engines as they took off into the air. The Professor took a different path, through a small forest, with birds that sang at the visitors and ducks and fishes that co-existed harmoniously in a pond big enough for them all. Eventually he strode through a parking bay and found his hover car, the one he had newly bought as soon as the medic judged him fit enough to be able to control the shaking and the headaches.
What I told her was true from a certain point of view, he told himself. Many of the truths we hold on to depend greatly on our point of view. Captain Andor did die around the time Scarif was destroyed.
"I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me, I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me." Cassian gave a grim laugh, which he regretted as it caused him a dull pain on the area of his wound. Clearly he was hallucinating the monk who came striding towards them, twirling his quarterstaff as if he was a magician.
"You, yes, you two over there on the beach, getting your clothes dirty!" Chirrut Imwe called. How could he be here, the whole planet was burning and falling into the abyss, how could this guy be here so calm, how could he be alive?
It was then Cassian saw that Jyn was looking in the monk's direction too completely dumbfounded, sharing the same hallucination.
"Stop staring, the Force isn't done with you yet!" Chirrut berated. There was something powerful about him, maybe it was the blue glow majestically standing by him like a king and his retainers.
"Chirrut, are you….. I don't understand….?" Jyn cried, with tears in her eyes.
"Do you want to live?" Chirrut demanded.
Jyn looked at Cassian as if it were a trick question. He gave her a weak but encouraging nod.
"Then on your feet! Now!" Chirrut demanded.
The sea was being vaporised by the pyroclastic cloud, which was nearly upon them; the desperation and the sheer proximity forced Jyn and Cassian to heave themselves up with all the had.
Chirrut pushed his hands before him and emitted a yell, the devastation smacked an invisible wall and froze on the spot. "Quickly, we do not have much time!"
An abandoned TIE fighter proved to be the saving grace on that fateful day, along with Jyn's quick thinking in signaling a surrender in front of the Rebellion's base at the right time to avoid being destroyed as an enemy ship!
The Professor jumped inside the hover car and drove out into the busy traffic. Within thirty minutes he was driving through a long country road and tomato orchards and horse farms, until he reached a grey driveway before a white house on a hill. He drove on and pulled up before the porch. No sooner had he got out, he smiled at the three people who were sat on the deck waiting for him.
A young boy ran towards the Professor, who lifted him up and ruffled his hair. "Hello, Galen!" he cried.
The Professor then found his young daughter rushing to join the hug- carrying his son in one arm, he made break towards her so she wouldn't risk falling down the steps of the porch. He lifted the brown haired little girl in his left had and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "How's the birthday girl, huh?" he said dotingly. The girl just giggled shyly and took her father's spectacles off to play with.
"How old is she today? Is she four?" he said rubbing his nose against her, the way she gave a bashful nod melted his heart. He put his children down and looked towards the woman with green eyes, like the moons of Fest; brown hair, like smooth cocoa- the mother of his children, who gave him a warm and welcome smile that told him much more than any words could.
Captain Andor and Jyn Erso were supposed to have died on that beach in Scarif long ago, only so that Professor Cassian Andor and Jyn Andor could be here today. Cassian felt a lump grow in his throat, reminding him to be eternally grateful.
"I have something for you both today," he announced, pulling out two pieces of crystals, each on a black lead. He placed them over his children. "This is called a khyber crystal, it's very very special and very precious, so you must look after it, OK?"
"Yes, Papa!" Galen nodded, prompting his sister to do the same.
"Your grandfather used to have one of these, you know, which he gave to your Mama," Cassian explained. "He was a very brave and unique man- your Grandpa Galen," he added.
"Galen, Rey, why don't you go inside and get the cake, so we can all have some?" Jyn suggested, prompting the kids to head inside, and it was just Cassian and Jyn alone out here. He cautiously approached her on the porch; for a moment the eyes of both embraced with the one another's. All Cassian could hear, and feel, was Jyn's heart beating faster, reminding him of the first time he had admitted his feelings to himself about her, fully expecting to die there and then.
Both husband and wife pulled in for a close embrace and a slow but loving kiss of gratitude to be alive. Cassian held Jyn close again tightly and they touched their foreheads together, he could feel her breath and the tremors that showed that she was holding back tears.
"I'm not going to cry," she sniffed. "I'm not going to cry."
"It's OK," Cassian assured her. Nineteen years to this day, their friends had died to give hope to the Galaxy from the tyranny of the Death Star and the Empire, for Cassian and Jyn to have this life in peacetime, for their children to have any hope of being born, of not going through what their parents had to endure.
"Rogue One…..."
"Would be proud and happy, if they were here," Cassian offered as convincingly as he could. "Our Rey was born four years to this date as well." This day didn't have to be the end of Rogue One forever, it was Rey's beginning too.
"You're right, her parents should be happy today, she'll wonder why they're so sad," Jyn whispered. "Stop feeling sad now!" Her expression became less melancholic. "I think Kaytoo would have liked the children, if only for your sake; Chirrut would have kept them entertained for hours with his Force tricks….."
"Bodhi would have been glad to look after them when we couldn't be bothered," Cassian offered bittersweetly. "Baze… he would never admit it but, he would probably have found a new toy for them and loved them from afar….."
"Yeah," Jyn assented, before wiping her eyes and clearing her throat. "You know that Luke Skywalker sent us a birthday hologram for Rey?"
"Did he now?" Cassian chuckled, but surprised that the Jedi Master who had set up a new Order would have remembered. They held hands for a moment- regretting that the others couldn't be with them, but thankful towards the beauty of being alive today with each other.
"We should all go away," Jyn suggested. "Somewhere new."
"Yeah?" Cassian smiled. "Have you ever been on a desert safari?"
"No!" Jyn said cheekily. "Unless the mission to Jedha counts?"
"I hear that Jakku is a good place for hiring a desert car and cruising through the sand dunes, amongst other things like racing." Cassian said. Jyn's face turned into an excited grin- he had always loved that smile, her mouth and dimples on those cheeks. He longed to see how excited his kids would be if their mother was this happy. Jyn hugged him once more and giggled, as if she was a giddy teenager rather than a middle aged woman.
"I love you, Cassian Andor," she cooed, before becoming more wistful. "Thank you for saving me."
Cassian gave a shy look. "I think that was mutual. Actually, if I remember correctly-"
"No, I was on my way to a death camp, I lived to fight and die," Jyn said quietly. "You saved me, many times after that from myself, from my sorrow, from my pain and grief. I've never properly thanked you; you gave me a new life, where I was no longer the daughter of that traitor Galen Erso or a soldier preparing to die. You are my end and you're my beginning, Cassian Andor. Always."
"Mama! Papa!" Rey protested, coming out from the house again and latching on to both their hands. "Come on! Let's eat cake!"
Cassian and Jyn shared an amused and sympathetic look before being led inside by their feisty four year old girl- their Rey.
Author's Note: Obviously, this is complete fanfiction, we all know what actually happened on the beach, but I really wanted Cassian and Jyn to survive so they could be Rey's parents. For those who've seen Force Awakens, you know what might happen next. :(
Still, I think Cassian and Jyn deserved a bit more happiness even if their time would eventually run out.
Let me know what you thought. :)