Author's note: I do not own anything having to do with Supernatural, only Madison and Jennifer belong to me.

SPNxBookworm requested a one shot with Sam and Madison after reading 'Knock Me Down, Daddy'll Knock You Out' and this is what I came up with. Hope you enjoy! Reviews and criticism are always welcome!

Don't Let Me Get Me

It was just another day in the life of a Winchester but the ghoul had gotten the better of me. There was no way I would make it to either of my brothers to patch me up so I drove myself to the nearest hospital and stumbled through the emergency room doors in time for a nurse to catch me as I passed out from the pain.

I woke up to the smell of industrial cleaner and the ever bright florescent lights on the ceiling that told me I had made it to the hospital.

"Nice to see you are awake," a nurse smiled at me as she stuck a thermometer in my ear without warning. "It'll just take a second, don't want an infection to set in now, do we?" The handheld machine beeped in my ear and her smile somehow managed to grow, "there we go, that wasn't so bad was it? Now, is there anyone I can call for you?"

I thought about telling her no and asking what drugs she was on that made her so perky but after I left Dean's the last time I had promised on Jennifer's life that I would call.

"Actually, yeah," I nodded and moved to try and take my cell phone out of my jean pocket when I realized I was in a hospital gown. "Um, where's my things?"

"Oh, they're right here," she smiled again reaching underneath the bed and pulling out a bag with my bloody clothes in them, though most of my clothes these days had stains.

I felt my eyes start to droop and I saw her injecting something into my IV bag. "What…" I blinked a couple of times trying to focus my vision, "what's that?" I asked not liking the feeling of vulnerability it was giving me.

"Just a little something to help with the pain," she assured. "Now, before it kicks in too much who should I call for you dear?"

"Dean…I need Dean," I admitted letting the drug do my bidding.

"I'll call him right away, now you just rest up," the nurse fluffed my pillow before taking my cell phone in her hands and scrolling through my contacts looking for Dean's number.

"I want Dean to make it better…he needs to save me…he got Sammy out…but I'm stuck…daddy needs me to do this," I rambled until it was too hard to keep my eyes open anymore.

There was a small knock on the door and I opened my eyes to see a very worried Sam standing in the doorway.

"Hey," I greeted offering him a small smile as the doctor walked in behind him and checked over my chart.

"How's she doing, doc?" Sam asked and I could tell he was picking up on the apprehensive look on the doctor's face.

"This is my brother, Sam," I introduced letting him know it was alright to share any information with him.

"Well, to be honest," he sighed closing the chart and placing it at the end of my bed. "Your sister is very lucky she got here in time. There was a great deal of blood loss. We were able to repair the damage done to her shoulder and with physical therapy she should regain full use of her left arm." The doctor patted my sheet covered foot, "just ring for the nurse if you need anything. Don't try and be a hero, we have pain medication for a reason."

"Thank you very much," Sam shook his hand before he went to check on the patient in the next room.

"Guess this means, I'll need to call Bobby for that banshee thing," I realized as I tried reaching for my cell phone on the bedside table.

"Madison, stop!" Sam declared snatching the phone out of my reach and shoving it into his pocket. "Do you ever think about anything other than hunting?"

"Of course I do!"

"Really? Because I talked to Dean; he was so sure that you were giving up, not even trying to fight anymore and I didn't believe him…" He started.

"Good," I cut him off.

"Until now," he finished as he rubbed a thumb over my bruised cheek.

"I'm doing my job, Sam," I moved my face away from him.

"The job is the problem, Mads!" He yelled a little louder than he should have, he paused for a minute to make sure no one had heard him before he continued. "Look at everything 'the job' has taken away from this family!"

"That's my point," I argued biting the side of my cheek to stop the tears from falling as a sharp pain flared through my shoulder.

"You're down to one last breath, Madison, you can't keep going like this," Sam almost pleaded as he sat down in the chair next to my bed.

I couldn't look into his deep brown eyes the same ones he had gotten from our father. Though both brothers could read me like an open book after spending countless hours stuck with each other growing up, Sam could give me one look and I'd want to spill every secret I've ever had.

I glanced out the window watching the rain fall from the skies as if someone had turned on a faucet. "Maybe six feet ain't so far down."

"What?" Sam questioned not believing what he was hearing.

"Aunt Maddie!" Jennifer exclaimed running in the room and basically throwing herself on top of me. I hated her seeing me in so much pain but I couldn't help but let out a strangled cry as she hit my shoulder. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Aunt Maddie, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

"It's ok, I'm fine," I hugged her the best I could with my good arm.

"Jen, why don't you go find us some coffee," Dean suggested pulling out his wallet and handing her some cash.

"There's a cart set up right outside of the hospital, the machines in here are broken," Sam told her though I didn't miss the look he was giving Dean.

"Ok, thanks Uncle Sam," she gave him a quick hug before walking out of the room.

Dean walked over to the door and peaked his head out to make sure Jennifer was no longer in hearing range.

"This has to stop now, Madison. When I got that call…" he trailed off and I could see him swallow a lump that hard formed in his throat. "If not for us and not for yourself then do it for Jen."

"Dean," I sighed not wanting to go through this argument for the millionth time especially now that it was two against one.

"No," he shook his head and pointed a menacing finger at me. "Anything happens to you and that girl is going to lose her mind! I won't have my daughter falling apart because of your selfishness."

"So now I'm selfish?" I asked incredulously trying to get out of bed to fight with him face to face but Sam gently pushed me back into the bed.

"Relax," he shouted giving Dean and I both pointed looks. "Dean is right though, Mads."

"What am I supposed to do?" I exclaimed waving my good arm around dramatically. "Just give up, leave everything I've ever known behind and what? Sit in some cubical all day sharpening pencils?"

"You are already giving up," Dean said softly and I turned my attention back to the window in the small room.

"Revenge isn't going to get you anywhere," Sam spoke up. "It's not going to bring them back; it's not going to bring him back."

My brothers were right I was barely holding on without my dad around. It had been almost six years since I watched the light go out in his eyes and I still didn't know how to live, how to go on without him. But I did want revenge. I wanted to tear apart the demon that took away my rock, torment the demon that made me grow up without a mother and destroy the one that gave Jennifer the same fate.

"Fine," I replied simply not meeting either or their eyes.

"Fine?" Sam questioned.

"I'll quit, but only if you can get me out of here."

"I think we can handle that," Dean smirked lightly hitting Sam in the arm and handing him the keys to his car. "Go find Jen and pull the car around. I'll see about signing her out."

"You're doing the right thing," Sam assured me giving my hand a small squeeze before walking out of the room with Dean.

"I know."

As soon as both brothers were out of the room I pulled my IV out and grabbed my bag of clothes. Changing was a harder feat than I thought but eventually I got into my jeans and my shirt at least over me so that I was covered. Peering out the door I saw Dean with his back to me at the end of the hallway talking to one of the nurses on duty. I took a deep breath before walking the opposite way and sneaking out of the hospital.

Two months later

My shoulder had healed but without the physical therapy I was supposed to be going to it was often very stiff and there were times I couldn't move it at all. I had received many calls from Dean and Sam worried about where I had gone and why but they were never answered. It wasn't until I got a voicemail from Jennifer crying hysterically that I realized my brothers were right, I needed to get out.

I drove all day and part of the night when I finally pulled into the driveway. I knocked on the door and waited until he answered.

"Madison," he started but I put my hand up to stop him.

"I'm sorry I walked out on you and I know I have no right to ask after what I've put you through but I need help, Dean. I don't know how to walk away…" I trailed off as tears formed in my eyes. "And I'm scared to live without him; I don't know what to do…don't let me get me."

He stepped over the door jam and pulled me into fierce hug placing his chin on the top of my head. "Welcome home."