Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

"So will you marry me?"

"Come again?"

"I'm asking if you will marry me?" Naruto sat in front of Konaha's voted 'Sexiest man 2011.'

"What?" Sasuke sounded non-to-pleased.

Naruto slide a paper across the coffee table as he stood to his roommate, best friend, and long time rival.

"My lawyer informed me this morning. No trust fund if I'm not married." Naruto stepped around the table While brushing his hand through the golden locks atop his head.

"So ask some girl." Sasuke's dark eye's glared at Naruto.

"Some girl will just take advantage of me." Soft baby blue eyes smiled back to Sasuke. "To us this is a business transaction." Naruto waved his hand then continues his pacing. "I can't follow through on my half of buying out Kyubbi software. You do still want to make a name for yourself and not live in Itachi's shadow all you life don't you?" Sasuke's eye's narrowed at the mention of his brother's name.

"How about you ask Sakura?" Sasuke spat out in what he would think was a perfect revenge for reminding him of Itachi's existence.

"I did she turned me down." Naruto pouted.

"Hinata?" Sasuke casually placed his feet atop the papers Naruto had laid on the coffee table.

"She passed out and had to go to the emergency room when I asked. When she awoke she had no memory of the event and to prevent it from happening it again her cousin forbid me to ask her again."

"Ino?"

"Dating Choji."

"Temari?"

"Also dating."

"Choji?" Sasuke asked in an accusing voice. Sasuke did not approve of sleeping around, let alone sex at all as far as Naruto could ever tell.

"No Shika. Do you know nothing about our friend's personal lives?"

BZZZZzzzzt. A fly swished past them.

"I make it a point not to, but yours always seems to wiggle it's way in."

"So you marry me?" Bzzzttt... Sasuke swished his hand around to get rid of their little pest.

"Since you have resorted to asking maaaales..." Sasuke contemplated in full earnest. "How about Gaara?"

"He just growled at me and went back to playing his video game."

"Neji?"

"He thought it beneath him to pick up Hinata's caste offs."

"Shika?"

"We just had this conversation, he's dating Temari."

"Choji?"

"Really?"

"He seems like a player. Might be what you are looking for." Sasuke's voice remained dead serious.

"Point taken," Naruto stopped his pacing for a moment and stroked a fake beard to think it over. "Buuuut I'm going to have to go with no."

"Sai?" Sasuke's shoes squeaked on the glass of the coffee table as he adjusted his seating to get more comfortable in what promised to be a long conversation.

"Sai said something about my dick being too small for him."

"What does it matter when you bottom?"

"Hey! I'd be the top in that pairing." Naruto barked back.

Bzzzzzzztzttzzzzt. The same fly went straight through Naruto's path as he turned about the room once more.

"Shino?"

"HELL NO."

"Beggers can't be choosers."

"I'm asking you, aren't I."

"Yes. And I seam to be last."

"I didn't ask your brother yet or Shino..." Naruto gave a huge cheese grin while sitting himself down next to Sasuke's feet, tired of pacing.

"What a relief" Sasuke spouted sarcastically.

"Look it's the perfect arrangement." Naruto seized Sasuke's feet into his hands and swished them back and forth. "You don't want to date. You think it's a big bother. Plus, Sakura will get off your case. Eh.. EH... EHHHHH?"

"And kill you for me. Two birds with one stone."

"Mute point." Naruto gave one last push to Sasuke's feet and then flung his hand back and forth in denial of the severity of Sakura's wrath. "She'll get over it once I tell her it was a political marriage for the money."

"So marry her, she's into marriage for money."

"You know she's not like that. She said she's waiting for you. So no worriesabout me taking her from her, 'Mr. I don't date.' Besides this gives you the perfect lead in to dismiss dating, if you're with me you can sleep around all you want and never have to commit, even with her, if you must." Naruto grumbled the last part under his breath.

"You really think that's a point in your favor?" Sasuke droned whilst rubbing his temples.

"Huh... well... in my favor yes.. cause I can get as many ladies as I want too." Naruto switched seats plopping his bum next to Sasuke's "It's really best that I find some one that I'm not in love with since I'm such a player."

Bzzzzzt .

"Well go some place else cause I'm deaply," bzzzzzt "madly," BZZZZZt, "completely," bzzzzzzzzz "uterly, in love with you." Sasuke's voice never changed, his along with Naruto's eyes followed the fly whizzing through the room.

"Shit. I'm so going ninja on that thing!" Naruto ran up to get a fly swatter. He stood in the middle of the room, mere inches away from the coffee table. Standing in silence he waited for the beast to make it's move. Waited. Waited. Stilll waiting... and waiting...

"Fine as long as you promise the sex." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

zzzzzzzzzzzz... Swish... Misssssed by a mile...

"Huh?" Naruto asked to Sasuke barely paying attention

"Sex. I wants. You give. I marry. Is that simple enough for your cave man brain?"

"I'm not an..." Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Swwwaaaapp...

"You missed."

"I know, bastard."

"Such loving words from my bride to be."

"The fuck.. I'm not the bride..."

BBzzzzz... swat swap swish..

"FUCK!" Naruto yelled out in frustration.

"Moron, you listening. I agreed if you agree."

Bzzzt... Naruto looked about for the fly but didn't see it. "Huh sure.. whatever you wanted is fine. Believe it." Stated no longer concentrating on the conversation between him and Sasuke. Swap. "AAAAA dieeeee..." Naruto ran about then stood still in front of Sasuke once more.

Sasuke got up from his seat and moved over to his fiance. He motioned to take the fly swatter but Naruto pulled away.

"No way. I can do... do ... do..." Sasuke continued to grab at it. Both of their hands clasped, "it my..." Sasuke suddenly let go causing Naruto to loose his balance. The world tumble over and the apartment was filled with the loud splatter of glass. "...self."

"You're the woman I always dreamed of marrying. Father will be so proud." Sasuke bent over snapping the swatter from Naruto.

Bzzzz... SMACK.

The bug fell directly onto the crunched up Naruto's stomach.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, baby."

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