Summary: Tired of their bickering, the Glee club locks Kurt and Puck inside a closet.
A plot bunny bit me, and then quickly morphed into a 10 foot tall killer rabbit. I was powerless before it, and I blame this on it. Hope you enjoy!
Come Out of the Closet by the darkness revealed
Practice was in full swing, with the room filled with music. Just as the chorus began, the song was interrupted by a shrill 'Ouch!'
Mr. Schuester motioned for the band to stop playing and turned around wearily. "What is it this time?" he asked resignedly.
"Puck stepped on my foot!" Kurt explained furiously.
"It was an accident!" Puck protested. "I stumbled!"
Mr. Schuester sighed. "Apologize to Kurt, Puck."
Puck looked mutinous but nevertheless mumbled, "Sorry."
"These shoes cost 200 dollars, I'll have you know," Kurt snapped. "If you had ruined them, sorry wouldn't have covered it."
"What's your problem, dude?" Puck retorted. "I said I'm sorry!"
"Don't call me dude!" Kurt almost yelled.
"Fairy," Puck sneered
"Neanderthal," Kurt mocked.
"ENOUGH!" Mr. Schuester bellowed.
Puck and Kurt looked around, startled.
"I've had enough of your arguing," Mr. Schuester told them, fighting to stay calm. "It's time for you to settle your differences and become friends. Or at least acquaintances," He hastily added at the looks on Puck and Kurt's faces.
"No way would I be friends with him," Puck scoffed.
"Mr. Schuester, you cannot be seriously suggesting this," Kurt said in disbelief. "Do you know what this idiot has done to me?"
Puck opened his mouth to retort. Mr. Schuester hastily interrupted. "Enough," he said again.
"Mr. Schuester," Rachel said, "This issue must be resolved quickly. Our practice time is precious, and unfortunately, very limited!"
"Yeah," Artie said. "And their fighting is starting to get annoying."
"I suggest we lock them up until practice is over," Santana smirked.
"I second the motion," Artie agreed, and Matt and Mike nodded.
"Alright," Mr. Schue said, his eyebrows raised. "All in favour of locking Kurt and Puck up, say 'aye'."
The room was filled with a chorus of 'ayes'.
"And all against?" He continued.
Puck and Kurt raised their hands.
"Sorry guys," Mr. Schuester told them, a slight grin on his face. "But it looks like you've been overruled."
With the help of Matt, Mike, and Finn, Mr. Schuester herded a protesting Puck and Kurt into the closet by the piano.
"Have fun," Santana called, an evil grin plastered on her face.
"Don't kill each other," Mr. Schuester ordered, and then shut the door.
With a sigh, he locked it and turned to face the others.
"Anyways," he said, smiling excitedly. "Where were we?"
.
.
.
It was dark in the closet.
Kurt stared at the closed door in disbelief, fighting the urge to bang hysterically on the door until they let him out. It was like his worst nightmare come true: He's stuck in an enclosed area with Noah Puckerman, alone and with no way out.
He could feel Puck's gaze burning into the back of his head, but Puck didn't say anything. The tension in the closet was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Several moments passed, and then Puck shifted a bit.
Instantly, Kurt stiffened, his instincts yelling at him to run before his face got smashed in. He turned around to glare at Puck, who shifted again, this time taking a step forward.
"Touch me and I'll scream," Kurt warned him, doing his best to sound menacing.
"Chill, princess," Puck smirked. "I'm not going to hurt you."
Kurt gave him a disbelieving look then glanced around. His feet were getting tired and he wanted to sit down somewhere. In the light streaming in from underneath the door, he managed to spot an ideal-looking box. Delicately, he made his way towards it, then stumbled over a mop, falling onto Puck.
For a brief second, Kurt was held against Puck's hard chest, supported by those strong arms. Then reality kicked in and he squeaked, flinching away from the bigger boy. "I'm sorry," he cried, shutting his eyes and waiting for the inevitable blow. A blow that never came. Cautiously, Kurt opened one eye, then the other. Puck didn't look pissed at all; in fact, he looked downright amused.
"Like I said, princess, I'm not gonna hurt you," he said.
Kurt stared. "And you expect me to believe you?"
Puck moved uncomfortably. "Look," he said in a low voice, "I know I've done some really bad things to you in the past."
"Bad is an understatement," Kurt scowled. "You threw me in dumpsters every day! You slushied me and called me names, not to mention the pee balloons and—!"
"Ok, I get it," Puck interrupted. "I was an ass. But I've changed!"
Kurt raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"I have," Puck insisted. "I mean, when was the last time I threw you in the dumpster? I haven't slushied you for at least three months! And didn't you notice that I stopped calling you names like 'fag' and stuff?"
Thinking back, Kurt realized with a start that everything Puck had said was true. Huh.
"All right," Kurt said. "I believe you."
Puck nodded. "Good."
"So why are you telling me this?" Kurt asked.
"Because I wanna get in your pants," Puck said bluntly.
Kurt blinked twice, very fast. "Excuse me?"
"Ever since I knocked up Quinn, none of the girls in school will have sex with me," Puck admitted. "And Santana is, like, obsessed with Brittany."
"What about your cougars?"
"Um, actually…" Puck trailed off. "Business has been bad lately."
"So you're coming to me?" Kurt vaguely wondered if this was a dream.
"Well, yeah," Puck said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're kinda like a girl, right? I mean, you use all that stuff on your face and you dress nice, just like a girl. And besides," he said, smirking, "you're kinda cute."
Kurt felt the beginnings of a blush. "So you want to have sex with me?"
Puck nodded, his smirk now a full—on leer.
"No," Kurt told him.
"No?" Puck repeated, flabbergasted. "But, dude, have you seen my guns?" He pulled up his sleeve. "How can you refuse my guns?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, Puck, your guns are very nice. But I'm not having sex with you just because you're horny."
"But…" Puck seemed lost for words. He obviously had not even considered that Kurt might refuse his offer.
"I'm. Not. Having. Sex. With. You," Kurt repeated slowly.
"Ever?" Puck whined, giving Kurt his puppy eyes.
"Well," Kurt relented, "Maybe after the fifth date."
"Ok," Puck nodded.
Kurt nodded, too, his mind still reeling. The entire encounter seemed surreal, dream-like, and he was having trouble believing that it had actually happened. Did Puck really just agree to date him? Oh G-d, did this mean that Puck was his boyfriend? Puck the stud? Puck the womanizer?
"So," Puck grinned and leaned forward. "I guess I'm your boyfriend now."
Kurt nodded.
"Wanna make out?"
Kurt stared into Puck's brown eyes. "Ok," he said softly, then chuckled. "I would never have thought my first kiss would be with Noah Puckerman. Life works in strange ways."
Puck started in surprise. "You've never been kissed before?"
Kurt smiled wryly. "There aren't a whole lot of gay teens around here, Noah."
"So I'm your first kiss?" Puck said. He smirked. "I kinda like that."
Carefully, he leaned forward and gently kissed Kurt. The kiss was slow and sweet, everything Kurt could've wished for. Cautiously, he put his hands on Puck's chest, who in return wrapped his arms around Kurt. The kiss quickly became more intense. Puck pushed Kurt up against the wall and kissed him deeper; Kurt ran his hands over his mohawk, luxuriating in the feel of the short bristly hairs.
There was a creak as the door was opened, and light streamed in, lighting up the small space.
"Hey, guys," Mr. Schuester said, "time to come out! I hope you…" he trailed off, dumbstruck at the sight before him as Kurt and Puck, oblivious to the outside world, continued to kiss passionately. "Oh G-d," he said, and hurriedly shut the door.
"What's wrong, Mr Schue?" Tina asked.
Mr. Schuester just stared, gaping slightly.
"Mr. Schue?" Artie said worriedly. "What is it?"
"Yeah, what were they doing?" Mercedes chimed in.
Mr. Schuester swallowed. "They were…"
"What?" the club chorused.
"They were kissing," Mr. Schuester finished.
"WHAT?" Mercedes shrieked.
"You're joking, right?" Artie begged. "Please tell me you're joking!"
"They were kissing? Seriously?" Tina asked.
Mr. Schuester nodded.
Finn moaned. "Oh G-d, oh G-d!"
"So Kurt and Puck were making out, eh?" Santana looked thoughtful, the beginnings of interest sparking in her eyes. "That's kind of hot."
"Maybe we could do a foursome!" Brittany said excitedly.
The hubbub halted at her remark, and then quickly started up again.
Inside the closet, Kurt broke away from Puck, panting, and, ignoring Puck's whine of protest asked, "Did you just hear Mr. Schue?"
Puck shrugged. "Must've been your imagination." He pulled Kurt back towards him.
In the practice room, the club was still arguing.
"We have to get my boy away from Puck!" Mercedes said determinedly.
"Not a good idea," Santana told her. "Puck's probably horny like hell and only an idiot would get in his way."
"I think we should just leave them," Artie interjected, "and ask them what happened tomorrow."
Rachel nodded. "I agree. Excellent notion, Artie."
"Good problem solving, guys!" Mr. Schuester said brightly. "It's pretty late, so I think you should head home. I'll take care of them."
The teens nodded, and packed up their stuff, waving goodbye to Mr. Schuester. He waited for them to leave and then sighed. What a day it had been.
He put his stuff away and picked up his bag, then cautiously went over to the door. He quietly opened it and peeked in. Yup, they were still at it. Feeling uncomfortable, he cleared his throat. "Um…guys?"
Kurt flew away from Puck, already blushing. "Yes, Mr. Schue?"
He smiled gently. "Party's over. Time to go home."
"Already?" Kurt blinked dazedly.
Mr. Schuester nodded.
"Oh…Ok." Kurt adjusted his shirt and turned to look at Puck. "See you, Noah."
Noah nodded, a smirk spreading over his face. "I'll call you tonight, kay?"
"Ok," Kurt replied happily. He brushed past Mr. Schuester and picked up his bag. "Thanks, Mr. Schue!"
Mr. Schuester waved, then turned to Puck. "Off you go, Puck."
Puck grinned. "OK. Thanks, Mr. Schuester." He swaggered away.
Shaking his head, Mr. Schuester exited the closet and shut the door. Turning off the light, he left the room.
'Note to self,' he thought, as he unlocked his car. 'Never put Kurt and Puck in a closet together again.'
FINIS
I hope this wasn't too bad. Please review, and tell me what you think!