*Disappears from the fandom for two years and doesn't update with no explanation*
*reappears on Christmas Eve with a oneshot nobody wants*
Warning: PWP and Crack Pairing
(Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin)
The only way to kill an angel was to make them sin.
So that made angels an outright nuisance to kill. Ever since the Land had aligned itself with Hell and against the Heavens, the great goddess Palutena had sent wave after wave of centurions and angels to Land to obliterate the unfaithful world. However, at last, the battle with Palutena's army had finally borne fruit- the United Land and Hell had finally captured the general of the goddess' army.
"He won't talk, so we'll just have to kill him," the Great Demon of Hatred, Ganondorf, said as he walked down the long, stone hallway. "I can extract any information from his essence, so it's just a matter of getting rid of him."
"I had my executioner try to decapitate him but it didn't work," King Marth frowned, following merely a pace behind Ganondorf. "Currently I have Red studying his body and collecting samples; it will be useful to know if we can build a weapon to help us."
"Unless you can make a contraption that can force someone to sin, you have no chance," Ganondorf muttered.
"I'll have Shulk work on that then," Marth smirked. However the playful expression died quickly. "How do we make an angel sin then? The commander we've captured has no weakness. Even despite being locked up for three months, he's not given up thrashing; and even when he's resting, he's resting in deliberation. He barely eats what he's given; you ethereal folk have no desire for material goods; and he has no envy over anything we have."
"That still leaves three sins left. Wrath, Pride and Lust. His pride is in a healthy amount but we could tip it with some work. However, invoking wrath within him would be the easiest," Ganondorf murmured. "Killing angels is always such a pain."
"Don't you demons have some kind of exterminator for angels?"
"Don't act smart around me, human," Ganondorf growled. "... There are... Half-demons that embody greed. Once given gold, they'll be driven to do whatever it takes to get more. Respectable demons do not approach them, but I have heard stories about lesser imps using gold to eliminate angels. However, they have no loyalty. If angels give them more gold, they'll turn on us."
"I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Besides, the prisoner has nothing to give him. Once we have all of Paluntena's secrets, we can end this war... so tell me where I can find one so I can have him kill the angel."
(Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin)
Warui was furigana for bad. Mario was the former god of light before Palutena. Wario was slander for this name- a form of corruption. Charitable Mario, greedy Wario. Dead Mario, alive Wario. Somehow the name was very fitting for him, even though a half-demon like him didn't deserve the name.
He revelled in the fact that he was repulsive to humans and demons alike. The looks on the faces of that human king and his guards had been hilarious. It made it worth talking to one, and he was truly glad he did talk to the young, blue-haired man. So much gold had been offered, how could he refuse? Wario set out from his garlic hole, towards the demon city capital within minutes and soon he was at the demon army's interrogation chambers.
"This who I am to see?" Wario grunted, looking at the nude angel from the window. Marth nodded and the Halfling snickered. "Wah ha ha ha. What a wimp. I'll kill him within seconds."
"Make sure you do it before the end of the year. We won't pay you unless we get those plans, and we need them before Palutena is ready to strike us back. So get to it."
"Quit your bellyaching, princess," Wario grinned, scratching his butt. "I'll take care of this, Wario-style. Watch and learn."
"I'd rather not." Marth was ignored as Wario walked into the cold, black room and waddled towards the commander.
Even solitary Wario knew who this was: Pit, Palutena's trusted servant. It wasn't a wonder why demons and humans alike couldn't get the angel to sin, Pit was purity incarnate. His halo shimmered as bright as his will; his body would heal as long as his halo shone.
"... A half-human, half-demon. I haven't seen one of those in a while," Pit murmured, bright blue eyes looking up at the foul-smelling creature picking his nose. "Ganondorf thinks you can kill me."
"You got a hefty price on those pretty wings of yours, Pitty-cakes," Wario sneered. "I will kill you. I guarantee it."
"And what can you do that they haven't?" Pit growled.
"Everything." Wario promptly turned and farted in Pit's face. The angel yelled out in surprise and started coughing, face turning a little green. "How do you like my Wario Waft?"
"That's just gross. Ugh! They don't ventilate the air in here! Ughhhh! My nose."
"Well be thankful you're not dead. Usually that stuff sends people flying." Wario said over Pit's coughing.
"Ugh... This job is just the worst sometimes."
"Hmmm? You mean as Paluntena's guard dog? You don't like serving your goddess?"
"Hey, I'm no dog. Even if I was, it wouldn't matter. I want to serve Lady Paulenta. She's important to me and I'll do anything to protect her and her secrets from you! Even if you have to fart all day. ... Please don't do that though."
"Hah. I like you, kid. You got spunk." Wario ruffled Pit's long brown hair with a greasy hand, making Pit squirm. "I better be paid double for breaking you."
"Ugh. I've met some pretty ugly and gross Halflings in my life but you're the worst. And what are you doing to my hair?"
"Petting you. We got a long week together... So let's get started, chicken wings. I know what to do." Wario dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a beam sword.
"Glad it wasn't you just happy to see me," Pit muttered under his breath. He expected to be stabbed in the stomach like Marth and Ganondorf had done, but instead, Wario grabbed Pit's wing and stretched it outright.
"O-oy! What are you doing? Stop it! Let go of tha-ARGHHH!" Wario sliced the wing on Pit's back. Even though it would grow back the next day, the pain was excruciating. Tears pooled in Pit's eyes as Wario yanked the remaining bones and tendons off of Pit and showed the angel his work.
"Torture always makes me hungry, so I think I'll have a raw snack."
"Wh-what?" Wario opened his mouth obnoxiously wide and stuffed the wing into his mouth, feathers and all. The crunch of bone was only too loud in Pit's ears and Pit stared in horror as he watched his wing being eaten. "Y-you can't do that!"
"Watch me eat the second one," Wario said, with his mouth full. After a hasty swallow, the halfing repeated the process with Pit's other wing, leaving the angel bleeding and gasping for air. "Do you feel vulnerable?" Wario asked, lips smacking together as he chewed on the feathery meat. "Are you angry at me? At your goddess for abandoning you and leaving a dirty Halfling to do what he wants with your body?"
"N-no... Go... Go away." The wings of an angel was the most valuable thing an angel could have, save for their halo. To rip them off was a crime that even the lowest demon dared not to do. Pit was just appalled, and surely, the halo around his head seemed to darken just a little bit.
Wario smiled. This would be too easy.
(Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin)
Wario just ate cloves of garlic. He didn't need to drink or sleep, so he could spend as much time as he wanted violating Pit. Pit hated to be touched, so Wario ensured that he smeared his salt and grease into Pit's hair as much as possible, and the sweat from his own obese body made it on to Pit's. Pit's face looked a bit green during the first couple of days but, ever adaptable, the angel soon was feeling less sick.
When his wings grew back, Wario would play with them for a day before he ripped them off. New wings were so sensitive and every time Wario touched them to dirty them, Pit would feel a spark of electricity course through his body that made him feel warm. It was a good feeling to highlight how bad having his wings torn off felt.
It was hard to place that good feeling that Wario's grease-smooth touch instigated. All Pit knew was that it was wrong to feel that kind of heat. When they were young, angels would learn emotions through their wings and the song of the goddess in hopes of understanding humans. They would never have true emotions for themselves, but they could recognise them now. Anger... sadness... joy... So what was this one? What was this heat?
"You hate me... but you hate me like any other solider in an army," Wario said, sitting on Pit's legs that had been purposefully broken. Pit didn't reply, focusing on shielding his mind from Wario's gentle caressing. "Wahhh... I shouldn't care, but I'm feeling I'm missing something here. Tell me, pretty boy, why don't you really hate me? We've been going at it for... what... seven hundred hours straight?"
"I have no desire to. I have to hold my head high for my goddess."
"She won't save you. You're a pawn to her. She doesn't treat you right. I know how she works," the Halfling yawned. "She's a goddess. You're an angel. You're her slave."
"I am not!"
"Besides loyalty, what do you feel for her? Why do you fight for her?"
"She is the light. That's all I need to know! She's in the right and I'll serve her."
"That's just dumb."
"Hey, what?"
"Sounds like a bad deal. You feel nothing and you're imprisoned to her. Sounds like you're more free here."
"Ugh... Figures, that's what a Halfing would say. Your kind are always gallivanting around with no purpose. Only wanting money. Moneh moneh monehhhh~"
"Money doesn't have an ulterior motive, like your goddess. It gets me what I want." Wario said, sitting more comfortably on Pit's broken bones. "Money doesn't get me stuck in here."
"Greed does get you stuck places. That's why angels are born without greed."
"You light-headed yahoos seem to be dumber than you look. Angels are born without desire."
"I so too have desires!"
"Like what? Tell Wario what you want. What you really, really want."
"I'm not telling you." Pit crossed his arms. Wario picked a bone out of Pit's legs and threw his femur at him. "Ow! Hey! Quit that! I currently desire you to stop throwing my bones at me."
Wario laughed at him but really, the banter couldn't hide the fact that Wario was right.
He... really had no desires. If he had the chance to release his inhibition and turn his back on Lady Palutena, what would he do?
Pit really didn't know, and that scared him.
What was his drive for anything? What did he want?
At least he could remain calm for now. His wings were dirty as Wario's hands, but somehow that didn't lessen the experience of warmth he got from someone touching his wings. It was nice... It was almost intimate.
Maybe... Maybe more of that.
(Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin)
If Pit didn't die in the next forty-eight hours, he would not get paid.
Wario never thought that such a simple job would be so hard. Sure, he was torturing the guy, and every hour came new screams and cries, but there were days in between the cursing and the tears that were quite pleasant; where they would talk about everything and nothing. It was weird having someone to talk to that wasn't interested in business, but it was strangely enjoyable.
Of course, money held the happiness to Wario's heart, so he was determined to make Pit sin once and for all. He wasn't sure how it was going to work, since Pit very much didn't despise him despite the gross abuse and the torture, but he knew he'd find a way some how.
Wario ever expected that Pit would instigate his own demise.
Two days still meant the humans and demons could take down heaven, but somehow, it meant very little to Pit. While he did want his goddess' love, his eyes had become clouded, and while his halo could still shine, it was no longer as beautiful as it once was. Everyone could see that, even if it wasn't a big enough spark to initiate an angel's death.
"... Wario... Have you ever met a succubus?" Pit asked quietly as Wario stroke his wings. Wario raised an eyebrow at the abrupt question.
"One. Old partner. Her name was Mona. She was a bitch," Wario grunted. He picked up Pit's arms and legs and left them in the corner of the room for the rats to eat. Pit gave a small whine as he felt his unattached limbs being nibbled on, but that was it. "Why? Why'd you ask?"
"I was wondering what pleasure felt like. Not fulfilment, but... pleasure. Physical pleasure. The dirty kind."
"Hohhh?" Now Wario was on top of this. He waddled and squatted in front of the limbless angel. "Well... I guess I can show you. It's gonna cost ya, though."
"... What about my wings?"
"I get them all the time. They're still tasty."
"No... I mean... After I die."
"… So you've given up, huh?" Wario said, putting Pit in his lap. The limbless angel shook his head but still looked at the older creature with large, blue eyes filled with longing and true desire. Admittedly, Wario was curious to what had sparked such an expression. He had noticed it a few weeks prior, but now it was so obvious. "Well… Heh. We'll figure out payment afterwards. Let's see what I get." the Halfling laughed, picking the torso up. Pit seemed to croon at the touch. "Hmph. Thought you thought I was gross,"
"Well, I've gotten used to the smell of trash. It's one of the more minor inconveniences here." For that remark, Wario released Pit's hips. "Woah! Hey!" The angel yelled, catching himself only by his forehead on Wario's shoulder. "Ow... I can feel your bones really well for a fat guy."
"You're way too comfortable around me, you know? You still won't even talk to the others, and here you're being buddy-buddy with me." Wario's gloved hands undid the buckle of his pants and he began wriggling his pants off of himself. Pit looked down at the other's underwear and his stubs tried to reach for it, much to Wario's amusement. "You could have waited for your limbs to grow back."
"I'd rather have my wings for this than my limbs. After this, you'll get to have them for good. Don't eat them though, chicken is more economical." Another snort from Wario. As Pit chuckled as well, helped him up straight and dragged him into a kiss.
Pit nearly gave a squeak of surprise, but as soon as he realised what was happening, he just left his mouth open, expectingly for the symbol of passion. As the moist lips and hot breath curled on his own skin, Pit tried pushing his leg stubs up, trying to further the kiss as best as he could. The angel's heart began racing louder and louder as he sloppily tasted the Halfling's mouth. Wario rubbed his groin against Pit's helpless body and moaned back into their kiss, both their movements getting hot and heated. Even though Pit wanted to keep going, Wario stopped after a long while, and pulled away. Through hazy eyes, the red-faced angel stared at Wario.
"What?"
"You really love me, don't you?"
There was no response to that. Wario pulled his thick cock out of his pants, making Pit stare at the human body part.
"Never seen one before?" Wario sneered.
"Never seen one as gross or big as that." Wario seemed to take that as a complement. He lifted Pit up with his burly arms, looking for the angel's entrance. Thankfully, only the physiology of an angel differed from a human or a Halfling, not the anatomy, and as a result, Wario found himself sticking one of his fingers into Pit.
"Mhgggghhh... Aren't you supposed to put your penis in there?" Pit muttered, wriggling his hips back onto the chunky digits, trying to get comfortable.
"Heh…Eager, aren't you?"
"I don't see you complaining," Pit scowled. "Just go already."
"No preparation? Alright… your funeral, whore." Pit shuddered at the name, feeling something jolt down to his penis. Wario chuckled, licking Pit's neck with his fat tongue before positioning the angel's anus over him. "Here I come…
"Hrrrrnnnn!" Pit tossed his head back, nearly falling over if not for Wario's burly arms. His eyes were not deceiving him when he saw just how large Wario's cock was. Pit moaned out again and swung back against Wario, eyes feeling with tears as he felt the Halfling thrust deep into him, tainting it. Pit watched from where he placed his head on Wario's shoulder, seeing the man's powerful thrust into his holy body. Pit curled his angel wings closer to his partner, as if shielding them from strangers, letting the bliss wash over him. "Ahhh~ Wario~"
Wario grunted and grabbed Pit's hips to better control the motion. He began carefully pulling the angel's torso up and down, finding a pattern that suited him. It was like playing with a very responsive fleshlight, not that Pit could complain with how he was being treated
"Haaaaaa! Haaaaaa!" It felt good. Feeling the warmth from the other's body was lovely. Pit could focus on their sweat mixing with one another, the unevenness of their breath, everything. The brunette was brought closer to Wario's shoulder and he gasped, biting down when he felt a particularly good thrust inside of him. He shifted his hips as best as he could, trying to make the motions a bit easier. Pit's own erect cock rubbed between their bodies, Wario's fat circling it and making the sensitive angel keen even louder.
With the prompting, Wario began to move a little quicker, his head occasionally knocking briefly against Pit's. It was quiet between them, the sound of ecstasy only shared through the room- but that's how he liked it. Pit was feeling true lust. He wanted more and more sex, to let Wario- and only Wario- consume him completely.
Pit felt his body being swamped with warmth and pleasure. His head felt light and airy, even though his wings seemed to get suddenly heavier. The angel trembled before he suddenly slammed his stumps onto Wario's shoulders. With a cry, as best as he could, Pit began pushing harder against Wario, trying get himself off before it was too late.
"HAHhh...Mnnn..." Wario didn't respond to Pit's moans. He just enjoyed the warm touches of Pit's warm insides. Suddenly, Pit pulled his head away from Wario's neck before he smushed his lips uncomfortably against Wario's lips.
Wario jumped and pulled Pit away from his lips. Pit's eyes opened and he looked scared that he did something wrong, but Wario pressed a passionate kiss back on Pit's lips almost immediately. Pit could feel his body heating up in both a good and bad way, and he knew that he wasn't going to last long. His wings felt like lead, bending uncomfortably backwards. It felt like his bones were just going to snap off.
"Wario~" Pit cried out, cumming against the Halfling's stomach as Wario pushed the angel's sweet spot one last time. Pit's fluids spilt onto Wario's clothes, and with a few more thrusts, Wario soon came into Pit. Pit felt the utter bliss, burning him so intensely that it felt like the fires of hell were eating him. It felt like he was dying, and yet he wanted more. He craved it.
Was this what sin was like?
"Oy. Are you…" Wario started before Pit gave a loud shriek of agony. Wario pulled Pit off of his cock and the angel began writhing in the Halfling's arms.
"I… I want to have that desire… Wario, I want y-!" Pit's wings snapped clean off of his back and began to turn black. Pit's voice was silenced, and he tossed his head back, suddenly feeling his soul being forced out of his mouth. He tried to cover his mouth but his arms were still unattached to him, and both he and Wario could see a golden orb being forced out. Wario just watched as Pit tried to kiss him again.
And then was still.
(Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin)
"He's dead," Wario grunted, throwing Pit's body carelessly on top of the desk. Ganondorf looked up from his war plans and glared at the Halfling picking his nose.
"And his soul?" Wario chucked a jar towards Ganondorf. The Demon Lord caught it and then stared at it for the longest time. "… The human king will pay you when you're ready to collect."
"… Whatever."
"You're not going to take your money?"
"Fuck off. Of course I am. Just not yet." Ganondorf raised an eyebrow. Wario picked up his bag and ,when he turned, Ganondorf could see the large, blackened wings strapped to the back of it.
"You going to eat those?"
"… I was. I'm going to hang it on my wall. This assignment… heh. It sickened me off garlic for a while. I'm going to make sure I can always see these, so I can get used to the idea…"
"Idea about what?"
"Angels really should show no mercy and kill us all." Ganondorf looked puzzled but Wario didn't say anything, summoning his bike from nowhere and driving out of the wall of the Demon Lord's castle.
(Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin) (Sin)
Guess who's back~
You can review purely to tell me wtf Pika.
Keheheh