Disappointed
A Doctor Who Vignette
By JadedofMara
Crisis averted, you return to the lab.
To the confused old man and his blue, alien assistant.
You sit him down oh so gently, and you start to explain.
Together you work through the fear, the apprehension.
You convince him that he's something more, that he can see those things of which he'd always dreamed, stuck here at the end of the universe.
He's made his decision.
You can see it in his eyes.
The watch opens.
And suddenly, you're not the last.
A sound, so soft and gentle you almost cry fills the aching, deafening silence in the back of your head where the Time Lords used to be.
And together, you begin to unravel his history.
Slowly, the story coalesces.
His name was Jolcanaborous, before he took the title of The Yana, the Jhaso-modlin endearment used for kind, mentor figures.
Explains some things.
Turns out he's an old Academy professor, the one who failed you in Archeoxenosociology in your fifth decade of school.
Explains a lot more, though not how he was able to fly a rocket with wheat gluten.
Then he remembers that he used to dabble in consumables chemistry with his Bonded partner for life, another professor from the Academy, though not one who ever taught you.
The final pieces click into place.
He eventually realizes that the Time Lords are not buzzing away in the back of his mind.
There are tears, and screaming, and eventually, the entire story unfolds.
He understands, finally, after nearly an hour, that there was no choice.
That you were ordered to by the, albeit wrongfully deposed, Lady President herself.
You receive the absolution you've craved.
And Professor Yana shares in your grief.
The whole conversation takes place in High Gallifreyan of course.
Martha and Jack look on, confused.
Chan-tho is enchanted.
You eventually pack up in the TARDIS.
Chan-tho is dropped off on the rocket, still reluctant to leave her Professor Yana.
Martha and Jack request London, and you are only too willing to agree.
Professor Yana is shocked out of his grief by the chance to visit one of the many cultures he had devoted his life to understanding.
He is also incredibly impressed by the way you interact so seamlessly with twenty first century humans when the four of you go out for chips.
He retroactively allows you to pass his course.
Jack and Martha are highly amused.
You have no choice but to join in the laughter.
You were so certain, when Martha told you about the watch.
You knew who it would be, knew what would come.
You knew there would be pain, suffering, heartsache.
And you welcomed it.
But then it didn't come.
You don't get his fire, his passion, his endless lust for blood, for domination and for you.
Instead you get the stodgy old Professor Yana, who had once written 'The student is unimaginative, dense, and shows no understanding of the subject material whatsoever' on your official records.
A part of you is happy.
You have what you've yearned for since Gallifrey first burned.
You're not the last.
But another part, a larger part, is disappointed.
Even though your wish is granted, you're not alone, he doesn't even blame you, and he agrees to come with you in the TARDIS for the rest of his regenerations, you're still unhappy.
And you hate yourself for it.
You expected it to be him.