A she-cat looked around her wildly, as if the bracken and tall oaks would burst alive with cats. Cats that came to accuse her. That knew her secret.

Her secret. She shuddered, her gray pelt shimmering in the moonlight. The dark gray spots on her dappled pelt moved in a hypnotic sway, but she was far too flustered to notice her pelt like she usually did. A tawny kit swung from her jaws, protesting.

"Mama! Slow down! Where are we going? I want to go back to Stormkit and Cloudkit!" she wailed. Her blue eyes blinked. They were a beautiful sapphire blue, but her mother was sure that they would probably turn a forest green, or possibly a copper-green. But she would never be around to see it. She had hoped, hope against hope, that Goldenkit would turn a darker shade of gold, almost brown. But it was never to be. Her coat showed no signs of getting darker, in fact, it seemed like it was getting lighter. Like Light- No. She wouldn't think of him. She flattened her gray ears as she heard the faint noise of the river.

"It won't be long, my kit, I promise," she whispered.

Tears filled her eyes as she thought of what might be the end of her little Goldenkit. She might drown, or the chill would get through her fur. She might catch a cold from the cool night, and the river spray, or a predator- Her eyes squeezed shut. No, her Goldenkit would die a painless death. She hoped.

She crunched through the dry and frosty grass, her breath puffing out in little clouds. The river noise was stronger, stronger. Goldenkit squirmed.

"Mama! Don't put me in the water! It's wet!" she whined. The mother smiled sadly. Goldenkit was like her father, a true dry-fur. She finally got through to the reeds, right next to the river side. The pull to walk in and swim was heavy, she WAS a RainClan cat... But no. Her kit. The one- She took a breath through Goldenkit's warm, fuzzy fur, taking in the scent she would never smell again. Then, she reluctantly put her little Goldenkit down. Goldenit was trying to climb back on her again. "Mama! what are you doing?"

"It's for the best, Goldenkit. We'll see each other again, I promise."

"What? But you can't leave! Mama! MAMA!" she squealed. The silver queen turned around, and looked back over her shoulder, tears streaming freely down her face.

"Goodbye, my little kit. I hope-" her chin quivered with emotion. Then, she turned back into the reeds, and pelted hard back for the RainClan camp. Behind her, she could hear Goldenkit yowling for her.

"Come back! Don't leave me here! COME BACK!"

Those words would echo in her dreams for many moons to come.

xXx

The golden kit huddled on the riverbed, sobbing, "Mama, mama, come back, mama. Why, mama? Why?" Suddenly, she lost her footing, and slipped into the river, giving one last desperate wail before all of her thoughts snuffed into blackness.

xXx

The silver queen walked back into the camp at sunrise. "Silverleaf! Where have you been?" a dark warrior called. Silverleaf smiled sadly at Stormfur.

"Just... Out."

"Doing what?" She felt an ache in her throat, and pressure building up on her eyes.

"Nothing really." Then, Goldenkit's face appeared in her mind unheeded.

Mama! Come back! her tiny voice wailed. Silverleaf sniffled, and a tear rolled down her cheek. The dark tom looked concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"I found- Goldenkit. At the river," she sniffed.

"D-dead?"

"Yes!" she wailed. But a fragment of her still hoped...

His eyes widened, "Oh, Leaf, I'm so sorry." She sighed, then shook her head and padded to the nursery. Flicking her tail and telling Stormfur silently not to follow, Silverleaf collapsed in her nest. She looked at Stormkit and Cloudkit. Their goldish-gray pelts. Blue eyes. She remembered her Goldenkit. Down by the river. Cold. Scared. Alone. All because she looked like her father. Her SnakeClan father. And she wept.

xXx

Goldenkit heard voices murmuring over her. She cracked open an eye, then closed it. Another murmur. Louder. She stretched, and decided that she was in the medicine cat's den. She opened her eyes, expecting to see the nice medicine cat standing over her. But instead was a white she-cat with green eyes.

"Mama! Mama!"

"I don't know who your mama is, little one," the white she-cat whispered, "We found you on the river's edge. Were you playing, then you fell in?" The kit shook her head.

"No, I want mama!" she whimpered. A tawny shape squeezed into the den.

"Who is this kit, Mistylight?" it rumbled.

"Lightjaw! I didn't see you come in," the white she-cat, Mistylight, bowed her head, "Do you know this kit?" Lightjaw screwed up his eyes so he could think clearer.

"No. I've never seen her before."

"She looks an awful lot like you-"

"None of that!" he snarled, "Get on with it! And make sure she's fine. Got it?" The meek she-cat dipped her head briefly.

"Yes, Lightjaw," she murmured as he stalked away. She licked Goldenkit gently. Goldenkit squirmed away.

"No! You're not my mommy!" she wailed.

"Hush little one. You're wet. We don't want you to catch a cough."

"But I want my MAMA!" Mistylight lay down next to her, and started purring gently.

"Shhh," she soothed, "Everything will be alright."

xXx

Silverleaf sat with Stormkit and Cloudkit napping at her stomach, their bellies full of milk. Unlike her Goldenkit. Where was she? Was she alive, or- or... She blinked. Her sister, Streamlight, walked in, her own belly full of kits. Silverleaf bobbed her head as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

"Streamlight." Her sister looked concerned.

"What's the matter, Leaf?"

"I-I-" Silverleaf glanced nervously out the entrance. "Can we go, erh, somewhere else?" Silverleaf got up wearily, leaving her kits under the care of Swiftbreeze, an old queen who was not old enough to be an elder, but too old to fight well enough to be a warrior. The two sisters went out of the camp, and padded slowly to the clearing. Then, SIlverleaf sat down. "Streamlight, I have something to tell you." Her dappled sister blinked.

"What's wrong, Leaf? You never act like this. Why are you so- so- so- scared lately?" Silverleaf blinked.

"It's because- Goldenkit."

"Goldenkit? Oh, I know what happened, she esc-"

"No! She didn't. I-I put her there." Silverleaf looked down at her paws.

"WHAT? Why?!"

"Because! My kits- they're half-Clan." Streamlight's eyes widened.

"Leaf, no! You know what Wolfstar does to the mothers of half-Bloods!" Silverleaf looked up.

"I know. I know," she murmured, "That's why I had to give her up. She looked too much like... Lightjaw."

"Lightjaw?" Streamlight's mind was racing for names, "The SnakeClan warrior?"

"Yes."

"But I thought you- never mind." They both sat in silence, and Goldenkit's wails filled Silverleaf's head again. She shook her head to clear them away.

"Let's go back to camp." Streamlight sighed.

"Fine, sister," Streamlight murmured. They turned tail and stepped quickly back to camp.

xXx

9 Moons Later

Goldenkit had become Goldenpaw, apprentice of Mistylight, medicine cat of SnakeClan. Her apprenticeship was untouched by battles and deaths, until that one fateful day in Newleaf. Goldenpaw was placidly sorting herbs in the medicine cat's den, muttering to herself.

"Spidersilk, juniper berries, catmint-"

"Goldenpaw!" Mistylight cried, "Goldenpaw!" Her tawny head jerked up, and she raced out of the den to her mentor's side.

"What's wrong?"

"RainClan and SnakeClan are fighting, a great battle-" she panted, "I need you to get all the marigold, cobweb, and poppy seed you can carry! Quickly!" She trotted quickly in, bidding Goldenpaw to do the same. She returned with a few leaf-wrapped packets. "This way!" she turned and bounded through the camp entrance, Goldenpaw followed just as quickly, her mouth full of leaves.

She smelt it before she heard or saw it. Blood. Fear. Rage. Then she came into a clearing, and saw many cats rolling, tussling, clawing, snarling. Fighting.

"Heal all those who are close, no matter the Clan!" Mistylight commanded, "Remember the Code!" Goldenpaw nodded briefly, and her gaze came to rest on a silver dappled she-cat laying on the ground. She felt an unresistable urge to go and walk over to her. Her paws placed themselves, one in front of the other, unwillingly at first, but then it came easier and easier. She was running. But too whom? The silver-pelted bundle got larger and larger as she got closer and closer.

She stopped gently near the belly of the cat, which was slashed and torn. Blood pooled slowly at her stomach. Goldenpaw put cobwebs on the wound, and the she-cat cracked open an eye.

"You remind me of a kit I had once," she murmured.

"Really?" Goldenpaw muttered distractedly, "Why?"

"Becase- your- pelt. She had one- just- like- it. From her father." Goldenpaw found herself listening reluctantly.

"Really?"

"Mhm. She was a half-Blood. I had- to- hide. Hide her. Wolfstar woulda had my whole litter... Killed. For being half-Bloods. Then me. The other kits-" she stopped and panted. "Just listen- to my... Story. Her sisters- fine, but she looked SnakeClan."

"And?"

"I had to- abandon her. Hardest choice ever. I still regret- it."

"Where?"

"By the- river. I don't know what happened to her. Never saw- the body. Never saw her- again. I hope she died- painlessly. But I still know, somehow. Somewhere. She's alive." She drew every breath as if it were the hardest task. Goldenpaw gave her some poppy seeds to lap up.

"What was her name?"

"Golden- kit," the silver cat wheezed. Goldenpaw blinked, eyes filling with tears.

"Mama." The silver cat blinked.

"What?"

"I'm your kit. I'm your Goldenkit." She buried her face in Silverleaf's fur, for it was Silverleaf, her mother. She smiled slowly.

"Goldenkit. All grown... Up. My kit." She closed her eyes gently, "I love you, Goldenkit." She closed her eyes, and sighed.

She had saved Silverleaf. She should have been glad, but she felt... She didn't know. Tired. Disappointed. Weary.

Goldenpaw's eye filled with tears. "Mama, why did you have to leave?"

She looked at the battle around her, it was dying down, but it was not over in her heart. In fact, it was just beginning.

"Why, Mama?"