A/N: The origin story of swearing!Emily. Set whenever. I wrote this a while ago and it's, um. Strong language warning, obviously, but also fluffy in its own way.
Paige and Emily were sitting at the window seat in Emily's room.
"Em, can I ask you something?" Paige asked.
"No," Emily said.
Paige looked at Emily. She just smiled back.
Paige began to open her mouth but Emily just shook her head.
"Why…" Paige began.
"No," Emily insisted.
Paige looked down, then looked back up at Emily, who was smiling more broadly now, pleased with herself. Paige began to laugh.
Emily finally relented.
"OK," she said.
"No," Paige replied.
"What?" Emily asked.
Now Paige was having fun.
"I don't think I will now," she explained.
"Oh come on," said Emily, giving Paige a playful push.
"No, it doesn't matter," Paige said.
Emily frowned and lowered her head a little, looking up at Paige like a little puppy dog.
"Please…" Emily said.
"OK, but it might sound weird," Paige said.
"That's fine," Emily assured her.
"All right then," Paige began. "Why do you only swear when we're having sex?"
Emily laughed.
"Seriously," Paige added.
"No I don't," Emily responded.
"You do," Paige insisted.
"Don't you like it?" Emily asked. "I can stop if you want."
"No, please keep it up," Paige replied. "I love it."
"So what's the problem?" Emily asked.
"There's no problem, I'm just curious why you never swear any other time," Paige explained.
"Paige, you've met my parents," Emily said. "Military family, remember."
"True," Paige replied.
"Anyway, I do swear," Emily said.
"Really?" Paige asked.
"I say 'crap' sometimes," Emily pointed out. "'Bullshit' occasionally."
"They're barely swear words, Em," Paige replied.
"I don't know," Emily said. "It just feels aggressive. It's not really me."
Paige smiled again.
"It is you sometimes," she said.
"Well, that's what you do to me," Emily replied.
Paige couldn't wait to see Emily. They had arranged to meet up that evening for dinner, but before that Emily was going to the optometrist to get her first set of glasses. She had been earlier in the week for tests, and would be picking them up that afternoon.
They were bored of the usual restaurant they went to, but Paige had found a new bar in Rosewood which she had been told had good food, so they decided to go there.
Paige arrived first, but Emily came in soon afterwards, with her new glasses on.
"Em, you look stunning," Paige said.
Of course, Paige always thought Emily looked beautiful, but the new glasses suited her well. They had large lenses and thick rims, and really showed off her eyes.
"I look like a librarian," Emily protested.
"The world's sexiest librarian," Paige countered.
"Are they OK?" Emily asked, looking a little concerned.
"Beautiful," Paige said with conviction.
Emily relaxed a little at the compliment.
"How are they?" Paige asked.
"I'm still getting used to them, but they certainly make a difference," Emily replied. "Trees have leaves again."
"Well that's good," said Paige.
"Are you sure they look OK?" Emily asked, worried again.
"Really Em, you look amazing," Paige assured her.
"It took a long time," Emily said. "And the guy at the store was so rude. I was trying to choose the frames and he actually told me to hurry up and make my mind up."
"Wow," said Paige.
"He was so annoying," Emily said.
"Fucking annoying, you mean," Paige suggested.
"He was fucking annoying," Emily agreed.
"He sounds like an asshole," Paige observed. "Would you say he was an asshole?"
Emily just looked at her.
"Come on Em, you can do it," Paige said.
"OK, he was an asshole," Emily said, relenting.
"What a motherfucker," Paige said.
Emily was blushing now. Paige was enjoying this.
"He was," she said.
"Was what?" Paige asked.
"A motherfucker," Emily elaborated.
"So what did you say to him?" Paige asked.
"I just told I needed to make sure I had ones I liked," Emily replied.
"You didn't tell him to stop being such a dick?" asked Paige.
"No, I didn't tell him to stop being such a dick," confirmed Emily.
"Probably for the best," conceded Paige. "But still, you shouldn't have to take that shit."
"No," agreed Emily.
Paige looked at her, expectantly.
"Fuck that shit," added Emily.
"Yes!" Paige said in triumph.
The food was good and the drinks were as well. After a few wines and a vodka and dry, Emily was relaxing into her swearing practice.
"This is a fucking nice bar, and those nachos were the shit," Emily said.
Paige was just laughing. She felt a little bad, but loved hearing her girlfriend talk like this.
One of the staff came over to take away their plates.
"Thank you," Emily said, passing her plate. "The food was lovely."
This made Paige laugh even more.
"What?" Emily asked, once they were alone again. "I still want to be polite."
"Absolutely," agreed Paige. "You are just so sweet."
"Anyway," Emily said. "I need to go and piss."
Paige watched Emily as she went off to the bathroom, admiring her as she walked away. A few minutes later she emerged and returned to the table.
"We're almost there," said Paige. "Now, is there anything you can't say?"
Emily thought for a minute.
"The c-word," she replied.
"OK," said Paige. "We'll leave that one out."
"It's not so much the word, I just don't like that it's an insult," Emily explained.
"So you're OK with…" Paige began.
"I can probably say it," Emily replied. "I just think it should be a good thing."
Paige didn't say anything, as she could see Emily wanted to say more.
"I think they're something to appreciate," Emily said. "I mean, cunts are nice, really. I like my cunt. I like yours too."
"OK then," Paige said, laughing a little. "Maybe we keep that one for the bedroom."
"Maybe," said Emily.
"Speaking of which…" Paige began.
"Were we?" asked Emily.
"I think we were," said Paige.
"Go on then," said Emily, playfully.
"Well, all this listening to you has… you know," Paige said.
"What?" Emily asked.
"I was just thinking we might want to go home soon," Paige suggested.
"Who's getting coy now?" asked Emily.
Paige was suddenly self-conscious. After all day teasing Emily, she was the one who was embarrassed.
Emily leaned across the table.
"Do you want to go home and fuck?" she whispered.
"Yes please," Paige replied. "I would like to go home and fuck."
"OK," said Emily. "Let's go."