Hi everyone, brand new story for February :D I hope you all enjoy it and I hope you all think I'm as funny as I do in regards to Yuuri's boyfriend's name XD
The more Phichit thinks about it, it's the laugh that he finds the most jarring. Out of everything he doesn't like about Yuuri's boyfriend Jerry (and, dear god, are there a lot of things) his braying laugh is by far the most egregious. The way he throws his head back and lets out a serious of incredibly loud sounds like a donkey giving birth is both painful for the eyes and the ears. Of course he puts up with him though because he loves Yuuri and sometimes it's the only time he gets to spend with his best friend as Jerry gets weirdly over-protective, even of him. Yuuri knows that Phichit doesn't particularly like Jerry but he appreciates the effort he puts in to be as nice as possible when he's around him.
"You didn't have to come keep my company," Yuuri chuckles as Phichit only just succeeds in hiding his shudder of revulsion at a tasteless joke from Jerry's friend Josh. They've come out to celebrate Jerry and his friends wrapping up on a new series they've all been a part of. The bar isn't the nicest place they could have gone to but it's not a dive either, which is something. Yuuri asked Phichit to keep him company as he doesn't know everyone working on the series and it wasn't like Phichit was actually doing anything tonight.
"No but you're my friend and I didn't want to leave you alone with these weirdos," Phichit tells him. "Besides you can't tell me that all their actor talk is actually interesting, half of what they're saying I don't think are actual words."
"Sometimes it is," Yuuri says. "Most of the time I don't really know what they're talking about and just let it gloss over me."
"You have to hear about his job all the time, does he ever ask you about yours?" Phichit asks.
"You make it sound like he barely acknowledges that I exist," Yuuri says giving Phichit a reproachful look.
Phichit grimaces, ashamed. Yeah, it probably does sound like he hates Jerry (because he does) but Yuuri loves him so he should be making more of an effort. "Sorry," he says. "I'm sure he's great, I just... find him very difficult to deal with."
"Is that because after three years of my dating him he still refers to you as 'Yuuri's friend'?" Yuuri asks.
"That is one of the reasons yes," Phichit replies. He doesn't know whether it's just laziness, arrogance or Jerry hates him as much as Phichit hates him but he has never stopped referring to him as 'Yuuri's friend' when introducing him to people. It's irritating and just down right rude so, of course it's not going to warm him up to the guy. "But I will make more of an effort," he says. "I know you like him so I'll try harder."
"All I want is for you guys to get along," Yuuri says. "You're my best friend, he's my boyfriend – I just want you two to be able to be in the same room as each other without you wanting to rip his head off."
Phichit raises an eyebrow at him. "Really?"
"Okay maybe that's asking a little too much." Yuuri sighs. "I just want you to be able to have a conversation where you don't get mad at him once in a while."
"I'll try..." Phichit says flatly.
"I will talk to him as well," Yuuri says. "He knows your name, he is literally just doing it because he thinks it's funny now."
"He has a weird sense of humour."
Yuuri takes a sip of his drink with a resigned look in his eye, like he knows that Jerry has an odd sense of humour. Of course he knows, he has to live with it. "Anyway enough about him what about you?"
"What about me?" Phichit asks.
"It's been a while since you split up from... what was his name?"
"You mean the guy with the ponytail?" Phichit asks.
"Yeah him."
"You know what, I don't even remember," Phichit says, chuckling wryly. "Let's just say it's been a while."
"And?" Yuuri presses.
"And nothing," Phichit lies. He hates talking about his love life and talking about it it ear shot of Jerry is an extra level of embarrassing just in case he overhears and decides to broadcast it to the entire table.
"Oh come on, you can tell me," Yuuri says. "It feels like ages since we got to talk about something like this."
"It kind of has been," Phichit sighs.
"And I'm sorry," Yuuri says taking Phichit's hand and giving in a squeeze. "I know I've been really busy with work and spending a lot of time with Jerry so I haven't exactly had a lot of spare time to catch up with you."
"It's fine," Phichit says waving him off.
"No come on tell me," Yuuri practically whines. "Like you said listening to all their actor talk is really boring sometimes."
"Okay fine," Phichit relents unable to resist Yuuri's puppy-dog eyes anymore. The bastard knows they work on him but Phichit can't be too mad at him, he has been avoiding the subject for as long as he possibly can. "Being single sucks."
"It can't be that bad," Yuuri chuckles.
"Says Mr Been In A Relationship For Three Years."
"Okay fine."
"It just sucks because everything is so geared towards couples these days and people look at you like you're some kind of social pariah if you tell them you single. Or worse you get the pity 'aww I'm sure you'll find someone soon'," Phichit grumbles playing with the tip of his straw, using it to swish the ice around in his glass.
"Okay note to self, don't say that," Yuuri chuckles.
"If you do I'm leaving."
"Have you thought about online dating?" Yuuri asks.
Phichit pulls a face. "No thank you. You have no idea what kind of nutters you're going to find online."
"I met Jerry online."
Phichit doesn't even have to verbally say case and point, his facial expression does the talking for him. "Anyway..." he says after a longer than necessary pause, "I have tried it before and I kept getting dick pics I didn't want."
"Okay so I'm guessing that Grindr's out then," Yuuri says, his shock at the unsolicited dick pics evident in his voice.
"Tried it, didn't work," Phichit says.
"Is it just that there's no one you like the look of or are they all just douche-bags?" Yuuri asks.
"Little of Column A, little of Column B," Phichit replies. "All a lot of them want to do is talk about themselves, or their exes, and their kind of inconsiderate as well. God, my sister was right, chivalry really is dead..." He stares off into space thinking about just how insufferable Yi-an would be if he ever told her that she was right about something.
Yuuri chuckles. "What about work?" he asks. "Don't people meet people through that these days?"
"And that would be great if I didn't work in an office dominated by women," Phichit replies, sighing.
"Ah... yeah not what you're really going for is it?"
"I don't really know anymore," Phichit sighs, shaking his head. "I mean I know I've had boyfriends in the past but maybe that's where I'm going wrong. I'm just not attracted to any of the women at work because, aside from about two of them, they're all the wrong side of fifty."
"Ah..."
"Plus the only people who call me at work are usually calling to yell at me for something so it's not like I'm in any danger of finding The One there," he adds. He's being pessimistic, he knows he is but after a goof five years of being single and not really finding anyone that he would even want to consider dating he has every reason to be.
"Well how about one of Jerry's friends?" Yuuri offers. "You can also meet people through acquaintances you know."
Phichit wrinkles his nose in mild disgust. That idea is not in any way appealing. "Really?" he asks. "Can you really see me with any of them?"
"What about Joel?" Yuuri asks casting a glance at the quietest one of the group, sitting on the sidelines (much like themselves) and nursing a drink. "Joel's nice."
"Joel's a freak," Phichit replies. "Last time I came to one of these things with you he got drunk and told me all the things he wanted to do to me and they were fucked up."
"Oh my god!" Yuuri cries. "What was it?"
"I don't really want to repeat it," Phichit says with a shudder. "Let's just say that I'm not letting him anywhere near my hamsters."
"Oh my god..."
"Yeah..."
"Well I'm sure there's one of them who is nice," Yuuri offers, trying desperately to salvage the situation.
"Sorry hun, the answer's still no," Phichit says. "They're all a bit weird and I don't know if I want to take that chance."
"Well you're going to have to take some chances," Yuuri tells him and Phichit doesn't have the heart to point out that he sounds exactly like his mum.
"I know and chances will be taken, just not tonight," Phichit says.
"Good," Yuuri smiles, "because you deserve to find someone nice."
"So do you," Phichit says sincerely.
"I have someone nice," Yuuri states.
"Yeah if you end up with that," Phichit says gesturing to Jerry who seems to be in the process of trying to balance spoons on each oh his ears, "what am I going to end up with?"
Yuuri chuckles, smiling fondly at his boyfriend. "Say what you like, we work really well together."
"Really?" Phichit asks, incredulously before checking himself. "No, I shouldn't judge. You're my best friend and I will tolerate him."
"Thank you, that's all I ask," Yuuri smiles. "'Cause I love him and he loves me."
"Well that's good at least," Phichit says. "I'm sorry I give the crazy ginger monkey such a hard time, I just think you could do so much better."
"If you say so," Yuuri says, his self-confidence issues beginning to bleed through again. He takes another sip of his drink before he picks up his phone to check the time. "Anyway I better head off to work, there's a big party at the rink tonight and if I'm late Yuko will go spare."
"Fine," Phichit sighs theatrically. "Go and enjoy your evening of making sure that kids don't fall over on the ice."
"Thanks," Yuuri laughs, getting to his feet. "I'm just going to say goodbye to Jerry. Are you going to stay?"
"Oh god no," Phichit says downing the remainder his drink and also getting to his feet. "If you're going I'm not staying. Aside from anything else Joel looks like he's had just enough to drink to try again to convince me to go to bed with him and the answer will always and forever be a resounding no."
Yuuri chuckles. "You going to call it a night?"
Phichit shrugs. "I might go over and see Guan-Hong," he replies. "He sent me a text earlier and asked if I was free so I'll stick my head in and say hi."
"Well say hello from me," Yuuri tells him as he pulls him into a hug, "and text me when you get there."
"You'll get an Instagram update," Phichit assures him. "Have fun at work."
"Thanks I will."
He leaves Yuuri to say his goodbyes to Jerry and heads out into the chill of the evening, stuffing his hands in his pockets for warmth. It's not far from the bar to Guan-Hong's so he'll brave the cold for a little while. Even though he's lived in Detroit for a good few years now he always forgets just how cold it gets in the evenings, especially when it's been a dull day. He shoots off a quick text to Guan-Hong to let him know that he's coming and gets a very excited message back. At least my friends are always happy to see me...
Phichit tries not to think too much about his conversation with Yuuri as he walks, opting for keeping his eyes on the pavement in front of him, but it's difficult. Now that he's addressed the fact that he's desperately single he's finally started noticing the sea of happy couples he seems to be drowning in. It's irritating and unfair. He's never thought about it before... well, it's never been a noticeable problem before. When he was younger he never gave a passing thought to the fact that his friends were getting into relationships with partners and he was sitting in the corner on his phone.
His last break up had been a good few years ago and, even though he doesn't exactly miss the guy, he misses the closeness of having someone to just cuddle up to on the sofa. He can't exactly do that with Yuuri when Jerry is around and the hamsters are a bit small. It's fine, he thinks to himself, I've got friends I can hang out with, I don't need a boyfriend to have a good time. This revelation is somewhat shattered when he gets to Guan-Hong's and Leo answers the door, beaming at him.
"Phichit!" Leo cries, dazzling smile and his usual soft charm radiating from him.
"Hey Leo," Phichit says trying not to feel too disappointed. He loves Leo – he's been friends with him almost as long as he has Guan-Hong but since the two of them decided to get together they have been very lovey-dovey with each other (and a little too heavy on the PDA). It's very sweet but Phichit has literally just come from being the third wheel to one couple and now is about to spend the rest of the night the same way.
"Do you want a drink or anything?" Leo asks as he closes the door behind Phichit. "I was going to make some tea or we can crack open a few beers."
"Beer sounds good," Phichit says with a smile. American beer isn't exactly his choice of beverage but he's going to need something to take the edge of being stuck in the middle of the two love birds.
"Hey Phichit," Guan-Hong calls, sticking his head round the door to the living room. "You arrived just in time, we were about to stick on a movie."
"Oh cool, what are you watching?" he asks.
"Gone With The Wind," Leo replies. "Guan-Hong's never seen it."
"I'm really excited," Guan-Hong smiles like a child faced with the prospect of sweets.
"Okay," Phichit says, fake smile at the ready. Holy shit that film is four hours long! He's going to get bored twenty minutes in and they're going to start making out...
"You ever seen it before?" Leo asks as he hands Phichit a beer and turns out the overhead light, leaving them bathed in the light from the TV screen.
"Once," Phichit replies, privately thinking that once was enough. "It was good."
"No spoilers," Guan-Hong pouts as he curls up on the sofa, cuddling up to Leo's side.
"Then I won't say anything else," Leo says as he hits the play button. He presses a kiss to Guan-Hong's hair, wrapping an arm around him and Phichit realises that he can't be too mad as they are very cute together.
He is right though. About twenty minutes to half an hour into the film Guan-Hong beings to get restless. It's a small sofa and Phichit can feel him fidgeting slightly next to him. He tries to focus as much energy as he can on Rhett and Scarlett but that becomes next to impossible as he hears the tiniest of moans from Guan-Hong. I swear to god, if they start jerking each other off I'm out of here faster than you can say frankly my dear I don't give a damn...
Phichit takes a swig of his beer and tries to ignore what's going on next to him. Thankfully it doesn't seem to get any heavier than slightly too noisy kissing every once in a while but it's still enough for him to feel like the third wheel and pray that the next three hours is swift. Resolve hardened he vows that he is going to make some changes in his life and get out there and find someone. Next time I'll be the one making people uncomfortable by being all over my boyfriend 'cause I sure as hell can't keep being in the background of everyone else's relationship...