Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight in any way, shape, form, or avocado.

Narrator: It was a dark and stormy night...not. In Port Angeles, it was raining waffles and avocados. Bella was really down; she didn't like the rain. But her day brightened instantly when she saw her beloved father, Charlie.

Bella: Oh! There's Charlie. I can't wait to have an engaging conversation with my chatterbox of a father.

Charlie: Ohmygod, Bella. You look gorg, honey! Is that a new tan?

Bella: -Fluffs hair- Well, I did spend a lot of my time sun bathing...

Narrator: Charlie opened the cruiser door for Bella, and Bella got in. She was so proud of her father; he was a police chief by day for the good people of Forks, and super hero by night, saving the good people of Forks from evil-doers and mad men. There was the occasional suspected vampire sighting...but vampires don't exist.

Bella: Oh, Daddy! I'm so proud of you!

Charlie: Thanks Honey. Why, just the other day, I had this run in with a jewel-thief when I was Super-Chief Swan. Would you imagine my surprise when I found it was this nice boy, Mike Newton? In the end-

Bella:Is he hot?

Charlie: Well, I don't know. I don't really pay attention to those things. You'll see him at school when you go. He should be out of jail by then.

Bella: -Squeal- I love hot guys.

Charlie: So, I got you this car. It's a real piece of junk, but it's red!

Bella:What is it? A Chevy?

Charlie: -Cough- Er, yes. It was free?

Bella: But, Dad! I wanted a Porsche!

Charlie: Now, honey. Just be grateful that you have a car.

Bella: I want a Porsche!

Charlie: No.

Bella: But, Dad!
Charlie: No.

Bella: But, Dad!

Charlie: No.

Bella: But, Dad!

Charlie: If you shut up, I'll get you a Porsche.

Bella: Bwahahaha! My evil plan worked.

Charlie: What?

Bella: -Taps fingertips together evilly- Thank you, Father.

Charlie: -Blush- Well, now. You're welcome.

Bella: The weather sure is wet.

Charlie: I'll say.

Narrator: Aside from being a police chief, and a super-hero, unbeknownst to Bella, Charlie was also a tour-guide.

Charlie: On your left, you'll see a tree. It's green.

Bella: Ohmygod! I need a postcard of that.

Charlie: And if you look on your other left, you'll see moss. It's also green.

Bella: Green is an awfully nice color, butI miss Phoenix. Besides, all the guys there were hot. –Le sigh-

Charlie: -Thinks- Note to self: set Bella up with that nice boy, Mike Newton.

End! How'd you like it? I'm not going to be making parodies of the whole chapter. Just parts. But I'll try to make a parody for each chapter. :D

Mmmmmkay. This is the first time I've written a parody. Hopefully, it doesn't suck too much. :D Thank you, and review!