The Shocking Truth, by Dickfart
"In a shocking, exclusive interview, the Sword Art Online player Kirito answers all the tough questions. Over to you, Kaidou-san," said aspiring news reporter, Miss Kazuna Kimiko, who had a huge crush on Kirito like every girl between the ages of eight and eighty-five.
"Domofan84 wants to know: "What happens when you need to use the bathroom?""
"When you poop in the game, you poop in real life," said Kirito, entirely straight-faced.
"OK, wow! Now narutobleachfairytailonepiecesao123456 wants to know: "what is your favorite meme?""
"Doge," said Kirito. "Such doge in the game. Much doge in real life."
"One more question," said Kaidou-san. "fappygoatfukcer wants to know "Would you ever play Sword Art Online again?""
"No," said Kirito. "I'm just gonna do what everyone else does and play Dragon Quest. When you play Dragon Quest in Japan, you play Dragon Quest in real life."
"Well, that's all the time we have today, folks. Tune in next week for more shocking updates and, as always, stay cool and stay in school. Peace out, homies."
The End