Name: Something wasn't quite right

Rating: M for references, self mutilation, and for character death, read at your own risk.

Pairing: Huddy aka House/Cuddy, duh.

Description: Something wasn't quite right with Cuddy since House brought up her marriage, if only he'd realized it sooner.

Disclaimer: I do not own House MD, double duh

It was a cold December night, snow was falling and a light dusting could already be seen over everything outside. A more emotional person might have gone into detail about how perfect the night seemed, hell maybe he even would have commented on how it looked if he wasn't so concerned about a specific someone in his life. There was something seriously wrong with his girlfriend since the night at the wedding when he brought up her marriage in 1987.

He knew it was stupid, that he shouldn't have mentioned it but he'd apologized for everything, he thought she was ok afterward. She wasn't though, that'd become more and more obvious as the days went by. She was quieter now, didn't want to talk much about anything. She had been pulling away from him, building up walls higher than ever before. His intention had never been to hurt her, he'd simply wanted to show her that she did know the value of lying, even if she wouldn't admit it.

He was on his way to her house despite how late it was. She'd probably be sleeping and even if she wasn't she probably wouldn't want to talk, he just needed to see her and make sure she was ok. He had a key so getting in wasn't hard, neither was finding his way to her bedroom in the dark. What was hard was the crying he heard coming from the bathroom in her bedroom. Part of him doubted if it was a good idea to enter the bathroom but the smarter part of him knew there were a million possibilities for what could have been going on in her bathroom.

He was a smart man; he knew never put anything past anyone, but what he saw when he entered her bathroom wasn't something he'd ever expected. It shocked him, he felt a stabbing pain in his chest that he wasn't sure would ever go away. Drops of red led his eyes from the shower to where she was in a heap on the floor, a pool of blood red around her like a scene from a movie. Time froze around him when his eye caught the note on the sink. Carefully stepping over the trail of blood he picked up the note and choked back a sob as he read it.

House,

I love you, really I do and I'm so sorry for this. I wish I could have told you what had happened back twenty-four years ago when I was married. I wish I had the courage to say it out loud, but I didn't so I'll tell you know… It all really started when I was eighteen. Do you remember the day you told me Wilson told you I slept with my father's best friend? Well I did more than that. I married him, but there is a huge back story before that.

When I was eighteen my father's best friend came to me with a proposition: I give him and his wife a baby and he would pay for me to get into college. Simple enough right? Well that's what I had thought too. Two months into my pregnancy he and his wife had a blow out, because of me. It had turned out that in that one fateful night that he got me pregnant, he had "fallen in love" with me as well. His wife decided he could have both of us. Being that I was pregnant I had been living with them, and they decided my terms for living with them would be that I had to agree to basically belong to them.

I did. I knew I would have no where I could live. I had no choice but to do what they wanted. Again, simple enough right? Well, apparently not. Only three weeks after I gave birth my father's best friend ran away with me, leaving our daughter, well no, his and his wife's daughter with his wife. Unbeknownst to me his wife had filed for divorce only a month after I agreed to their terms of living with them. Maybe she decided he wasn't worth it, maybe she couldn't share him, I don't know but we left.

The reasonable thing would be to have left him right? Wrong. He was a dangerous man when angry and I wasn't willing to make him angry. He wanted me to marry him and really I didn't know what else I could say except yes. We went to Vegas and got married a few days later.

Stupidly though, I started a fight with him only three days after we got married and he put me in the hospital. Courts saw this as a reason to end our marriage and so three days later we were divorced and he went back to his wife and child so his daughter would have a father, leaving me here in Jersey.

I never told you because I barely made it through those months I spent with them… I know that maybe this isn't the smartest way to end it, but at the moment I am writing this I can't think of anything else. I love you House, with every fiber of my being and I always have. I'm sorry. Please take Rachel if you can find it in your heart, don't ever let her forget how much her mom loved her…

Ikh hob dikh lib,

Lisa Cuddy.

Tears were in his eyes knowing what the woman he loved had spent the last twenty-three years suffering with. He'd been the reason for all of those feelings to resurface and take her over. Why hadn't he realized something was wrong sooner? He should have known, he should have picked up on it and done something sooner. He didn't though, and now the only women he wanted to spend his life with was laying in a heap on the floor.

Wait, she was still there. She could still be alive. He dropped to the floor, ignoring all the pain he felt in his thigh. Pressing gently at her neck he searched for a pulse. Why had she chosen such a painful gruesome way to go? Sure she was a doctor, knew exactly where to slit her wrist to hit an artery, knew exactly how long it would take for her to pass out and how long it would take for her to actually die… It didn't matter, he'd never know because he couldn't find a pulse and she was cold. She had to have been laying there a while.

As he dialed 911 the last sentence of her note crossed his mind. Take Rachel? Be her father… He'd planned on adopting her, he was going to tell Cuddy if only she'd stayed around longer. Of course he'd take Rachel and no, he'd never let her forget Cuddy but he would lie about how the little girl's mother died. Rachel didn't deserve to suffer with the knowledge of how her mother passed.

"Ti amo Lisa, non so cosa farò senza di te." He whispered as he kissed her hair. This was the end, though they had really only just begun. He'd always love her and he'd probably never move on from her. He'd never lost anyone like her before, but now she was gone and she wasn't coming back.

As paramedics rushed into the bathroom House made his way out and into Rachel's room, the girl looked more like Cuddy then an adopted child should and he hoped one day he'd have the privilege of telling her all about the amazing women who was her mother.

A/N: Sorry for something so morbid and sad, I'm just kind of in that kind of mood. Also, sorry if the Italian is wrong, Google Translator was my source.

R/R? Please and Thank you.