Rating: PG
Category: POV (Anakin), PWP, Romance
Setting: Dinner on Naboo. Anakin's about 17, Amidala's about 22
Summary: Anakin's in love. Does Amidala feel the same way?
Spoilers: TPM for Amidala's handmaiden secret
Feedback: C'est muy bien, nomo arigato! sleeperdown@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.dreamwater.net/pottedcactus/erjika
Archive: Yes! Go for it!
Disclaimer: Don't own em, no moolah for moi. Lyrics by Thom Yorke.
Plot bunny: =:o <-- singing plot bunny? Inspired by Radiohead's "Thinking About You."
AN: I love Radiohead. I love Anakin (before he turned, anyway). The fact that Hayden Christensen ain't too scruffy looking only helps.
Been thinking about you
So how can you sleep?
These people aren't your friends
They're paid to kiss your feet
They don't know what I know
So why should you care
When I'm not there?
I lay on this bed. Not thinking. Not breathing. I couldn't even if I tried.
All I can do is remember.
The dinner but a few hours ago. You were there. Oh, I knew you were going to be there, you're not ruler of this planet for nothing, but oh gods...
You were wearing a simple yet elegant dress, rich blue fabric that made your eyes glow. Only a thin layer of makeup tonight, as you invited your closest friends and diplomats. In full regalia or homespun tunics, layers of makeup or barefaced, you are still by far the most beautiful sight in the galaxy.
Not for the first time I was thankful for Jedi training, keeping me walking and bowing while inside I was fainting.
And then you turned to me. And smiled. Not the polite little smiles you gave the other diplomats, not the nod of acknowledgement you gave my master, but a true, brilliant smile.
It was all I could do not to fall down and weep.
No more than perfunctionary greetings passed our lips, but there was a warmth in your voice as you spoke to me, a warmth that was meant for no other.
Dinner began, and nothing more passed between us. Performing your queenly duties, you gave a small speech before we all settled down to eat. Nothing personal, the gentle conversations revolving around various projects and light politics.
Eventually the dinner ended and the guests dispersed. Master must have sensed my feelings, for he let me stay to speak with you.
The last diplomat gone, we turned to each other.
"You've grown a bit," you said with your token smile.
I couldn't help but blush. The last time you saw me I was almost your height; now I nearly tower over you.
"My master keeps me well fed." Your smile widened, just as I hoped. You stood there, gazing at me with hidden emotions.
And you crossed the distance between us and wrapped your arms around my waist.
I was shocked. That was probably the last thing I expected from you. But it certainly wasn't unwelcome. All my Jedi training seemed to desert me, and it was all I could do to not melt in your embrace.
We stood there for an infinitely long time, holding each other. I fell in love with you all over again.
"I've missed you, Ani," you whispered.
I choked up at that. Just hearing you say that was wonderful in its own right. "And I you, Padme."
You laughed; I never did get used to calling you Amidala.
Fate seems to have a wicked sense of humor, for right at that moment, one of your handmaidens entered. I heard her cough discreetly; you nearly shot out of my arms. A gentle blush, you straightened your appearance. Your slightly flustered movements were so endearing.
"Diplomat Kearn is here to see you." You nodded, and the handmaiden bowed and left.
And here I thought we could have the evening to ourselves. Such dreams were meant to be purest folly, I suppose.
Gi Kearn entered in his usual flourish. He's about your age, from what I remember, another young person to have great power. But he bears it well, even if he is taken to melodrama.
"My dear Queen Amidala," he bowed gracefully. He turned to me. "And... Anakin? Is that really you?"
He strode over and gave me a bear hug. Such familiarity for someone I had only met once before, years ago.
"It's great to see you again! Still a padawan, eh?" He tugged at my braid. "I better do this while I can, before Kenobi chops it off."
I couldn't help but wince. Perhaps that is true, but he needn't be so... crude.
His attention turned back to you. He retained that familiarity, but added a touch of something I did not want to see. You smiled, listened, nodded, all the automatic responses you were trained to give someone in an important position with nothing important to say. I don't think you were even aware of his... other intentions.
Jealousy is never a nice feeling. Very ugly, in fact. And tonight was the first time I had ever truly felt it.
But then you looked over his shoulder at me, your eyes dancing with supressed laughter.
And you laid my fears to rest.
At last, Gi Kearn decided to call off his hunting for the night, and took his leave. You sent him off with good grace and a gentle smile.
As soon as you were sure he was gone, you nearly doubled over in laughter.
"Did you hear his proposal? He actually thinks he can get the Gungans to sell their energy ball technology to his planet. I don't think he's ever even met a Gungan!"
I smiled, in humor and relief. What would Boss Nass think of that? He'd probably send the diplomat away, and attack him with electropoles should he ever come back. Gungans were rather touchy.
And even more so, you really weren't aware. I'm surprised at that. As Queen, you should be able to sense the underlying meanings of words. Or maybe you did, and merely saw through his superficiality. But maybe this is something you were never taught. Maybe you never learned the language of courtship.
We spoke some more, catching up on each other's lives, but we couldn't quite go back to the mood we set before Kearn came. Not that it mattered. Any time spent with you is a joy in itself.
Too soon it was time for us both to retire. A short walk back to the quarters I was sharing with my master. Quarters wasn't quite the word. Lavish apartments comes closer. You were always generous. And alluring. Not knowing the charisma you emanated. Oblivious to your own charm. Not noticing the way Gi Kearn looked at you as you smiled. Not noticing the way I look at you.
So I lay on this bed. Still not thinking. Still not breathing.
Only dreaming.
~finis~