Beginning of Breaking Dawn------jacobs state of confusion after bellas marriage

Chapter One-

Wheres the fairness? Please tell me. I want to know if you have an answer for everything cause it sure as hell doesnt seem like it. I can't believe I couldnt phase, shiver just enough to become the monster she never thought I was. Move the desperate inches to save her life. Shes dead now. Her sweet heartbeats have finally beat until there end. Mine will never. Lost in a lonely eternity I dont even want. I knew there was a limit on hers. So why does this still hurt so much.

Shes gone, the eternitys with him that she so utterly desired, never to come. How could she live through Edwards desire to end the 100 plus, old virgin status, she couldnt, she just couldnt. Screw it, she was never mine to care about. Whether shes alive, dead...immortal. Likes theres even a difference. The waste of her, my beautiful Bella, more like his now.

My legs faltered in my stride and I fell to the ground, I let them. I didnt even know where I was going. Who I was going too anymore. She'll never come back. I shouldnt want you Bells, you were never mine to want, to think about, to dream of.

My crippled thoughts flickered to that incredible delusional version of a wedding. I wish I could just escape the cold prison of my mind...just get out.

All that crap. The love,the vows, the spins and twirls of the dancing no human could accomplish on there own. The fancy cake and decorations, that I knew Bella had nothing to do with it. She didnt belong with them. Shes just another human to him, another cow to suck dry. How can I move on when im so completely high off you. I said he was your drug...well Bella your mine.

I rose up and headed to my meadow. I couldnt go home, not like this. I couldnt phase, Sam would order me home. He probably thinks I'm suicidal, but I'm not, I owe Billy to much to leave him for forever. When I reached my lonely solitude I laid on the ground only in my old sweats. I let misery take ahold of me. I didnt want to think about her anymore, but I just couldnt help it, I was addicted.

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The sharp sudden sound of a twig snap brought me out of my trance, my head snapped up and I sprang without thinking, completely blinded by the sorrow that engulfed me, I slammed into her like a freight train, twisting both her arms behind my back until her body was bowed against mine.

Suddenly I froze because thick and clearly her heart, beat, she was human, as weak and as fragile as most. I could feel her start to shake uncontrollably with surprise and I immediately leapt back, my long jet black hair whipping around my face as I did.

I barely noticed, all I could see was her deathly white face and her terrified blue eyes, completely widened. They were like nothing I'd ever seen before. No color could describe their beauty. Flecks of pale yellow and white were scattered in them, like stars amiss the night. I could see her fear. No human could move the way I just skin as white as snow and long mahogany hair that framed her delicate features she looked...well... she was gorgeous. It was no surprise I thought her to be a vamp, but her heart told me differently, it pumped louder through her little body, more tauntingly as though it wanted it prove its point. That heart beat mocked me, as though it was reminding me Bellas were numbered.

I felt her gaze with those piercing blue eyes, the epiphany of beauty, her mouth dropped a fraction of an inch as she took in my nearly seven foot tan muscled body, I realized I looked menacing to her. She suddenly dropped her gaze when I opened my mouth to speak.

"Who are you?" I nearly growled at her, the adrenalin in my veins making my voice huskier than normal. I was bitter this...this beautiful creature came amiss my spot of mourning.

She swallowed and slowly raised her tiny, narrow face back up. "I- I'm Shannon" she whispered.

I attempted to get my voice back to sounding normal and I accomplished my feat. These days it was rare if I didnt accomplish whatever I tried.

"May I ask why your here, or is that a bit rude?" I said these words with a smile but it became more of a grimace as I spoke on.

"Well you just attacked me for walking, you couldn't get much ruder". She spit out, miniscule lines of anger between her eyebrows forming. I stayed silent, hoping she would go on. She did.

"I was just wandering and such, clearing my head. What was with the whole jumping me thing?"

"I'm sorry, I just- you just... caught me by surprise I guess." Catching me by surprise, wow, not the easiest thing to manage. This mere girl I should have been able to hear from miles away. "Wait a sec", I questioned her, "We're miles from anything how the hell did you get all the way out here?"

She froze, her breathing stopped. "uhh," she bit her lip and changed the subject, "Whats your name anyways?" she asked.

I smirked, I knew she wasn't going to spill her secrets anytime soon. I turned around and walked back over to where I was before she interrupted my state of being with her crazy blue eyes and cocky attitude.

I sat down and when I raised my gaze I realized she was still in the same spot, still frozen, her eyes were looking at me questioningly, wondering if I was going to answer her I guessed. "Its Jacob" I sighed, my mind was back to Bella and how she used to bite her lip the same way, stop it Jake I told myself.

The girl, Shannon was still looking at me but this time her eyes were full of compassion...sorrow. For what? "Whats wrong" I asked.

She kept looking at me with the same sad expression on her features, not answering my question. She pulled and formed her long waves into a messy bun and then nervously started twisting a stray piece of hair, she was still looking at me, I could tell she was contemplating something.

Finally, she sighed and slowly moved towards me like she was afraid. I didnt blame her, I was a monster. She nearly made it all the way towards me before she fell. I automatically leapt up from the cold, hard rock I was on and caught her before she could hit the ground.

She was in my arms and my skin burned where ever it touched hers, why was her skin as hot as mine, she could not be a werewolve, she just couldnt, I wouldve been able to tell immediately. What was she? Not a vamp, not a werewolve, then what?

I righted her and flung myself backwards. I sunk into a crouch, defensive position, she was not safe, the unknown is never safe. "What are you?" I spoke, repeating my question to her.

"Your not human" she said, avoiding my question, her glistening blue eyes staring a hole into my brown ones. "Your right, Im not, and the hell you are either." I spit out.

"I- I... I dont know what I am", she whispered. She moved as if she wanted to come closer me. I cringed away and backed up slowly through the deep green trees. I turned towards the forest and started towards the path home, she was not safe, she was unknown, she was mysterious...beautiful, a complete stranger. My beautiful stranger.

She whispered "Please dont leave me", "I dont...I dont want to be alone anymore". Her voice was barely audible, as though she were embaressed to speak those words but yet I could tell she was being truthful. She honestly did not want me to leave her.

My back was still turned to her and I gazed out at the trees glistening with the fresh rain on there leaves as I thought through what exactly I planned on doing. If I was going to be truthful with myself I realized I did not want to leave her, what else was there to go back too.

"Ugh" I growled out but not specifically at her, I was just exasperated by the situtation I was in. I whipped back around and slowly walked back towards her.

"I'm not going anywheres." I said slowly. I sat back down on my rock as she stumpled towards me. I was going to find out her story, whether she was willing to tell me or not.

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I promise Ill keep working on this story. Im new so please tell me what you think. thanks (: