Armageddon: Pirates of the Caribbean Style
Declaimer: Walt Disney owns Pirates of the Caribbean, Monty Python owns the galaxy of Andromeda, and I am neither of those people.
The End of the World
Captain Jack Sparrow was trying to have a quiet evening with his rum. Unfortunately, Fate didn't want that. An enormous green crab fell onto the deck in front of Jack. It was about three feet wide. Jack choked on his rum and looked up at the sky. There was nothing there to indicate where the crab came from. Meanwhile, the crab scuttled towards Jack. Jack edged away.
"What the hell...?" Jack trailed off.
"I'm a talking crab from the planet Mambran in the galaxy of Andromeda," announced the talking crab from the planet Mambran in the galaxy of Andromeda.
"Ummm, can you go back to planet Mambran?" asked Jack.
"Sure," said the talking crab from the planet Mambran in the galaxy of Andromeda, and promptly vanished. Jack breathed a sigh of relief. TOO SOON!
A very big fish plopped onto the deck. If fact, it looked like a very small whale.
"I am the Kraken!" the fish cried.
"No you're not!" Jack argued.
The fish looked let down. "It's always been my life ambition to be the Kraken!" it sobbed, and started to cry. "It's not my fault I'm not the Kraken! I've wanted to be since I was two months old!"
It went on wailing about it's blighted ambitions, as Jack stared at it in horror and surprise. Then Jack recovered sufficiently to pick up the wannabe-Kraken and dump it overboard. Jack breathed a sigh of relief again. TOO SOON! Again.
"I could have danced all night,
I could have danced all night,
And still have begged for more!
I could have--" Elizabeth Swann sang, appearing out of nowhere on the deck. Will materialized the next second while Jack was still staring in dumb amazement. Will took a resigned look at Jack.
"She's been like that all day,"
"--I've never done before." Elizabeth sang.
"What the bloody hell is going on?" Jack demanded of the nearest sane person, who didn't happen to exist. Well, at least Jack thought that Will was sane, but that was until Will burst into song too.
"Sing once again with me, our strange duet,
My power over you grows stronger yet!" Will sang. Jack was shocked to find that Will was not a soprano.
"You're not a soprano!" he cried. Elizabeth slapped Jack.
"No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you," Will sang to Elizabeth. Jack gaped in horrified astonishment. What was going on with the world? He took a reviving sip of rum. It didn't really help.
"Say you'll share with me each night, each morning," howled Will and Elizabeth together.
"I thought you already did," Jack said. "The nights at least."
"Love me, that's all I ask of you..." they went on. Dramatic music started playing. Jack looked around and saw that it was Davy Jones playing along with them on his infamous pipe-organ.
Jack now knew that the world was ending.
A/N: Yes, I know it's random. Please review! I'll give you figurative ice cream!