Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime
He was a reckless, reckless boy
Everyone fall asleep quicker that night. The bonfire hasn't even subsided. On her private tent, Historia feels herself falling, down past the ranch to find Frieda by her side, reading a story about a girl and a Devil. She tries so hard to remember what the story is about - she almost got it... she almost... - then the scene changes into her training day.
Funny how Eren could watch her so brazenly during that time. He didn't even avert his gaze when she caught him.
Through all that, she hears everything outside. The sound of crackling fire and rolling waves, the wind moaning and light footsteps...
She snaps violently awake to see Eren with his fingers firmly over her mouth. He looks different than he had on training days. His hair longer. His muscles look harder, no longer of that scrawny fifteen year old's. And there is dangerous gleam in his eyes.
She holds her breath below him.
"They're sleeping," he says. "We'll have to be very quiet."
.
.
.
He is leading her farther away from their tents now that she could see the orange tint of bonfire from where they are. Eren must have memorized the layout of the place by heart. He never once looked hesitated.
Halfway, Eren offered her a hand and ever since then they hold each other's hands in silence.
The cavern where they made their way into is overlooking the shore. Using the torch, Eren sets up the fire and they sit down.
He starts asking her about seeing the stars, the sky outside is full of them tonight. Historia beams full of spirits.
"I kept my head up all the way here. I even saw a shooting star, did you notice?"
Once she starts talking she couldn't stop. From there, Historia told him about a lot of things. Her childhood. The orphanage. The suffocating scene of Mithras. It went on for hours, and the whole time Eren was focusing on her.
It was when her last word floated in the air, he says sincerely.
"You've never talked this much to anybody, have you?"
At first, Historia just stares at him in wonder. She opens her mouth only to close it again.
Running out of excuse to deny him, she is experiencing a nauseating sense of helplessness, so strong that she falls on her knees to vomit.
In the end she is just a lonely and scared little girl. Her duty though, won't allow her to admit all of those.
"Let them all out," Eren says, rubbing her back. "You'll feel a lot better."
Her eyes are wet as she turns to him.
"Today I was so set to follow the terms-"
She looks as if she was going to crumble and he can't watch...
"But not because I wanted to... There's just no way-"
"Then I'll be your way!" he snaps quickly grabbing her arms.
For a second Historia wonders if every hero's downfall is going to be a girl. Wasn't that what Frieda's story all about? Or she imagined so, anyway.
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Gone eighteen
He only had five years the most and he wondered about her
He doesn't remember the details but he did remember holding her shaking form on his chest that night and began to hate the world and the rules written around it.
"...They marked us as devils without even trying to see what our real intentions are. Why won't any of them at least try and resolve this peacefully..."
Hearing that makes him want to do something bad on purpose. Maybe he could accidentaly swing one of those steel bars in Armin's direction?
It's frustrating.
These people he called friends slowly turning themselves into people he despises the most. He wanted to call them out. But nothing will ever change.
.
.
.
"I'm sick of waiting. I'm going."
He sets about leaving no room for compromise.
Historia can't believe him. The person who's staring down at her is a mad man. A mad man who is going to start a war, and he might not make it back...
For some reason he begins to look blurry.
"...Hey now."
It isn't until she feels his finger trace her face that she realizes she is crying.
.
.
.
The next time he comes to check on her, she practically stomps in panic. The unexpected has coming their way.
Look what a mess we've made!
He touches her hair. His eyes were tender as he says, "Well, it's worth a shot."
She swats his hand away.
"You're still going to leave, aren't you? Leaving me? Leaving..." she stammers, something logging in her throat.
He messes her hair to make light of the situation. "You and your assumptions. I'll always make it back to you."
And then he leans down to rest his face on her shoulder. She stiffens instantly.
Life has given her an important lesson. When something sounds too good to be true...
But she gets along with him anyway. In his arms, she can pretend there was no wall and they were just a normal couple.
"Eren..." she tries to sound less depressed "...I have a big favor to ask you."
He lifts up his head, paying full attention.
"Ask away."
Without further ado, she stands on his feet, gently kissing the corner of his mouth.
"That's it?" His eyes shines up at her. The promise of something bolder is there.
"Isn't this enough?" Historia asks innocently and flounces away.
"No." His hand latches around hers. "I want it all."
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Nineteen and a liar
He's never really a good guy. Maybe it's wrong to wish for the bad guy to win. But he is her bad guy. And she is so certain that he would come back to her as he'd promised, so certain that—
"Come inside, Historia."
The guy is looking at her, and perhaps wonders whether she listened to what he just said.
"You have to take care of yourself."
She gazes at him tiredly.
She's really the worst girl for betraying a lot of people, but none of it matters. Everything else will be washed ashore when he's done.