Summary: Helen had come for him in Cambodia. She comforted him. Now John has the chance to do the same for her.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary
Rating: T+
Pairing: Helen and John
THE ONE YOU LOVE:
John couldn't sleep, not when she was just down the hall tossing and turning. His senses were always attuned to her, to her moods. Helen was his everything. She was the reason he was still alive. In Cambodia he had sought to destroy himself with addiction, with drugs that made him feel nothing. John had just wanted to forget about the creature, forget about everything. The pain he felt was too great in his heart. Helen was at the center of it all; she always was. Yet, somehow, in the darkness he had felt her in his arms, lying by his side. Now he stood in the dark of his bedroom listening to her, wanting to go to her, and not knowing if he would be welcome.
John couldn't linger in his room any longer. He grabbed the white linen shirt and padded out of his room on bear feet to go to Helen. For one night she could seek comfort in his arms, remember what it was like when they were happy. She could seek solace, a safe harbor till the harsh light of day chased every thing else away. John paused at her door listening very carefully. It sounded as if her tossing and turning had stopped. Still, John wanted to be sure. Opening the door very carefully he saw her there on the bed, curled up in a ball with the covers down around her waist. Instantly his heart broke. His proud scientist, his woman, was suffering; dying. Closing the door John went to her and gently climbed into bed with her. John just wanted to offer her the same measure of comfort she had afforded him. He wanted to give her the healing touch of his embrace.
Slowly, so slowly, John pulled Helen back against his chest; the fabric of her shirt brushing his bare chest because he had forgotten to button his shirt. He held her close. At first she fought his hold, still deep in sleep, but she quieted. Helen even turned into him wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She shuddered, but did not wake. Using his free hand John pulled the covers over them both while holding Helen in the dead of night. He still didn't dare to sleep.
Hours later Helen woke feeling warm, safe, secure. Strong arm were wrapped around her holding her close. They were arms she knew all too well. John was in her bed, holding her, keeping her warm. Opening her eyes she stared into his calm face seeing an emotion she hadn't thought she would ever see again; he was looking at her with love in his eyes. It was a look that healed and broke her heart all at once. This was the man she loved, the man who meant everything to her, and he was here with her. "Hi," Helen whispered.
John only smiled at her. So far things were good. She wasn't shouting at him, wasn't glaring, and she wasn't aiming a gun at him, all in all a very good morning. Off and on through the night Helen had been shaking as if she had been cold. John's response was to hold her closer and closer to his body for warmth. This was the most worried he had ever felt in a long while. Helen was dying, his love. John needed her more than the waking world, more than the breath in his lungs, or the beat of his heart. She was the one he lived for, the only one who made him feel like a man rather than a monster. His life would have no meaning if she wasn't alive. Just to know that she would die without gaining entry into the underground city made the anger in him rise. She had worked so hard to create a safe harbor for their kind and one man was the cause of her down fall. Adam Worth, who should have died, was now the reason Helen, his Helen, was dying. Life was cruel to do this to her, to them. "When this is done with Adam…"
"We'll settle in quaint little cottage by the sea. I'll write my memoirs and you'll write poetry, sonnets perhaps." Helen replied, not in the same tome as John has used all those years ago. Back then he was trying to be cruel, to hurt her. It had worked and yet some small part of her that burned for him wanted to believe in his words so much.
"I was being cruel to say such things to you," John whispered. At that time he had known nothing but cruelty, anger. And now being here with her, feeling the remnants of the drugs still in his system he dared to dream of a life where they could be happy, could be together. Except, that wouldn't happen so long as Helen health continued to fail, so long as she remained poisoned.
Sitting up as much as she could and still be in his arms Helen said, "Some part of you must have meant those words." She had wanted to believe them, even now. John had been the one, the only one, for her. He had been a breath of fresh air in her stale, hollow world. John's views on the world had entertained her, his humor brought smiles to her face. His lips made her burn, his hands wanders over her skin making her hunger. His eyes had burned into her while they made love. John had been her everything. John had been her world. Maybe, someday, he could be that again.
"Perhaps, one day, we'll have that cottage…" John trailed off sliding his hand down her arm so he could lace his fingers with hers. She let her body go loose falling against him as she kept her fingers laced with his. John rested his chin on top of her head and waited for Helen to say something, anything.
"Maybe…" Helen whispered her voice barely audible. She wanted to believe that she and John could work. 'When this is over, I'll find a way to save you, to free you from your demon.' Helen made the promise in her heart. More than anything she wanted her life to work out as to include John. At first light they were heading for the gateway, heading into an unknown danger that John would not be able to accompany her seeing as Tesla only made one shield. All of that seemed so far away from the shelter of John's warm arms. Helen sighed forgetting the world, forgetting her death, and forgetting his zeal for killing. Right now it was just them, just Helen and John, alone in her bed with only the night to cloak them from the eyes of the world. For the first time in a long while Helen dreaded the dawn, dreaded what the light would bring to her life. As soon as the sun rose she was going to the underground city and John wouldn't be able to go with her. She was on her own.