Hutt River blearily opened one eye, blindly reaching out to find a pillow to cover his face with to block out the noise. He'd been awoken by a strange tapping sound and it wouldn't go away. Yes, he was used to sleeping with plenty of strange noises, he lived on a small farm in the middle of Australia; what could he expect? Hutt didn't mind the sound of wildlife; it made him feel peaceful and at one with nature and all, but this noise was different. It seemed like someone was tapping at his own window. Strange. Animals never usually ventured that close, even rats or birds. Hutt decided it was probably nothing and closed his eyes, willing sleep to take him again.
After a few minutes of frequent taps, he heard the sound of cracking glass and shot up straight, sitting bolt upright in his bed, staring at the window in shock. Yes, the glass was cracked, as if it had been hit by something hard. The glass hadn't shattered everywhere, thankfully, but it was definitely splintered, with a tiny pebble-sized hole surrounded by spider web-like cracks. Hutt tried to imagine what sort of animal could possibly do that when he heard someone exclaim 'shit', and much worse, from outside.
Hutt let out a little hissing sound, lips curling into a snarl; he recognised that voice as coming from one of his fellow micronations, this one definitely not his favourite by a long shot. Grumbling to himself, he got up and threw a dressing gown over his pyjamas and stuffed his feet into slippers, tiptoeing over to the window; well, he certainly wasn't going to disturb everyone by making a racket.
He opened the window and was greeted by, sure enough, the sight of dark, heavily-styled, hair and sunglasses. Molossia was wrapped up in his green army jacket to protect himself from the cold night air and, for some, reason holding a battered, scratched old iPod in one hand and several small stones in the other. Hutt River frowned, he knew how much the American micronation loved wearing his trusty sunglasses, it was practical to combat the overbearing sun in his desert home, but surely they were a bit redundant when worn at night. He wanted to question it, but he didn't even know why the other young man was standing in his garden in the first place.
'Bout fucking time you woke up, sleeping beauty!' Molossia called up to him, 'been throwing rocks for ten minutes now!'
'That was you?' hissed Hutt River, 'have you seen what you've done you dipshit?'
'Look, I'll pay for it, okay? In fancy fuckin' Hutt River dollars and everything,' Molossia waved his arms in the air, 'it's not important right now.'
'Now important? You damaged my house!'
'Just a little bit,' reasoned Molossia, scattering the remaining rocks on the ground.
'I swear you better have a good reason for being here, Jones,' spat Hutt River through gritted teeth.
'I do, you little bastard,' Molossia called back; there was a pause for a few minutes before he spoke again, tilting his head slightly, 'do you always sleep with hair rollers in?'
'Yes, it's the only way to get it to stay bouncy. Do you always wear your sunglasses?'
'Yes,' Molossia shrugged, 'well you never know when you might run into someone ugly and need to shield your eyes.'
'Just avoid mirrors,' replied Hutt River dryly.
'Fine then, I'll fucking leave if you're gonna be such a dick,' Molossia began stomping towards the end of the garden.
'What are you even doing here in the first place?' called Hutt, 'it's nearly midnight for Christ's sake!'
Molossia, who by now had one leg over the fence, turned around and began stomping back towards the house, staring at the other in confusion and shaking his head.
'What am I doing? What the fuck do you think I'm doing,' he held up the iPod, 'isn't it obvious?'
'Is it?' Hutt raised a bushy eyebrow, 'it looks like you're taking a walk with your pet robot.'
'Dude, how old are you?' Molossia sighed and scratched the back of his neck, 'look, I… wanna- need ta- say something, and, like, you know… can't fucking say it.'
Hutt frowned, since when did Molossia, the nation who could spew a string of obscene language worse than England could, trip over his words? What he had to say must be really important-? Oh…
'Are you the one who told Wy it would be a good idea to try to pluck my eyebrows when I was sleeping?' he demanded, 'if so then you're the reason they were uneven for two weeks! Australia wouldn't stop taking the piss the whole time!'
'What? No!' snapped Molossia, 'that was Ladonia. He was gonna do the same thing to Sealand.'
'The little shit,' muttered Hutt River.
'S'okay,' reasoned Molossia, 'Sweden caught him before our tiny sailor friend lost his brows.'
'That's nice,' Hutt gave a strained smile. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss the other micronations, especially the power-hungry Sealand and Ladonia (god how he pitied Sweden for having to look after them). He saw enough of them by day; why did Molossia think he would want to discuss them at night, when he was supposed to be asleep in his comfortable bed?
'Look, never mind that,' Molossia waved a hand dismissively, 'I got a song for you.'
'Oh?' Hutt leaned against the window sill, resting his chin on his hand and staring at the other micronation with interest, 'how come?'
'Well, I'm not too good with… deep stuff so I thought it would be best to express what I have to say through song.'
'And what do you have to say?' Hutt frowned, surely he couldn't be…
To his surprise, Molossia didn't answer, and instead took his sunglasses off and threw them on the ground.
'What'd you do that for?' asked Hutt, leaning further over the side.
'I… wanna be able to… you know, show you I mean this. So I'm not gonna hide behind shades; you can see my emotions in my eyes… for once.'
Hutt River didn't know what to say. The few times he'd actually had a one-to-one conversation with the American, Molossia had always made sure to keep his guard up, never conveying any emotion other than anger and loathing, always hostile to the other micronations. Particularly Hutt. Not that he minded too much. Why should he? Hutt got on pretty well with the other micronations. The little ones were adorable, if a bit of a handful at times, and Seborga was a great conversationalist. Now that he thought about it, Hutt had noticed Molossia seemed particularly seething whenever Hutt himself and Seborga were talking together at their little not-a-country meetings. Was he jealous? Did he fancy Seborga? Hutt chuckled internally, silly boy. If Molossia wanted to talk to Seborga, then he should just grow a pair and talk to him.
But what was this all about. Hutt racked his brains to come up with a logical reason for the Republic of Molossia to be standing in his back garden holding an iPod. To be honest, he was having a hard time coming up with a logical reason for the Republic of Molossia to be voluntarily anywhere near him at all. Wait, surely not…
'Has something bad happened to my family?' his voice trembled, 'Are Australia, Zealand and Wy okay?'
'What? No, they're fine, I think,' Molossia shook his head, 'look, just listen and you'll see. This comes from the bottom of my heart.' He started fiddling with the iPod and after a few seconds music blasted throughout the landscape.
'Fuck you! Fuck you very very much…'
'Shit no!' Molossia fumbled with the device, 'sorry, wrong song!'
'It better be!'
'Damn is!' Molossia tapped at the screen of the little gadget, 'I forgot I was listening to this on the way here.'
'Speaking of which,' began Hutt, 'how did you manage to get from the states to west Australia?'
'I flew!' Molossia scoffed at the obvious question, 'plane refuelled at Seoul, landed in Perth, hitch-hiked the rest of the way, piss-easy. Sorry I'm a bit late. Misjudged the time differences- I wanted to get here around evening before you fell asleep. Sorry I woke you up and all.'
'Hey it's no problem at all,' any hostility the Australian had left vanished at the apologetic look on his friend's face, 'jeez you must be dreadfully jet-lagged. Come inside- where the hell are my manners? I'll make tea or hot chocolate and we'll share a packet of biscuits!'
'Thanks but…' Molossia sighed, 'something I wanna do first,' he held up the iPod and grinned, 'this time it's the right song.'
'We'll see,' Hutt returned the grin.
Molossia tapped the screen and soft, slow notes filled the air. Hutt recognised the song almost immediately: an old 80s song.
'Never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight, I've never seen you shine so bright,'
'You have to be kidding,' Hutt tightened his dressing gown. Was he taking the piss?
'Never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance, looking for a little romance, given half a chance.'
Hutt looked around, what men? When was he ever asked to dance? People usually found him 'obnoxious' and 'irritating', or so he'd overheard them saying when they thought he wasn't listening.
'I have never seen that dress you're wearing, or the highlights in your hair that match your eyes, I have been blind,'
Yup, he's taking the piss, Hutt River groaned.
'Lady in red, is dancing with me…'
Now Molossia was singling along too, but changing the lyrics to 'Laddie in purple', which didn't quite fit the melody.
'Okay, okay,' Hutt snapped, a bit harsher than intended, 'what's this all about?'
'Oh… you didn't like the song?' Molossia tapped the screen again and the music stopped, 'sorry, didn't have much in the way of that old romantic crap. I was gonna look through my brother's iPod cause he has a load of cheesy love songs on his but I was worried he'd catch me. You know what America's like; I'd never hear the end of it if he found out I…' he stopped short, looking away.
'You what?' Hutt raised an eyebrow.
'Oh come on!' Molossia groaned, 'you still haven't figured it out?'
'Figured what out? You turn up at my place in the middle of the night and start blasting out Chris de Burgh, why? What the hell is going on?' he paused for a moment, glaring at the other nation, 'did someone set you up to this?'
'What? No!' Molossia stomped his foot, and ran his hands through his hair, 'why is it so had for you to understand? I LIKE you! I like you so damn much it's not funny anymore. You're annoying and weird but your smile… your personality, your little habits, they make me feel weird things inside and I don't understand it. When you talk to me I feel my stomach flipping and shit, and I want to be around you all the time. I talked to Sebo about it and he told me the best way to express this was by standing in your garden serenading you Romeo and Juliet style all romantic-like. I… well I don't know how to play any instruments yet, and I'm not too good at singing… so I improvised and… it turned out shit,' Molossia suddenly stopped talking, realising what he just said.
'You… like me?' Hutt blinked in shock, leaning out the window in silent stupor. Of all the things he had heard come tumbling out of that boy's mouth, this had to be the most… ridiculous, unbelievable, yet honest. He studied his fellow micronation closely for any signs of lying, and found none.
'Say something!' whined Molossia, 'say anything dammit.'
What could he say? Hutt tried to formulate words but none came. His mouth opened and closed slightly as he tried to get his brain to work. What did Molossia want him to say? What did he even feel about the American? Sure, he was aggravating, and a little too crude, but… to be completely honest, Hutt River knew next to nothing about him, only incomplete judgements based on a few meetings.
'I knew it,' Molossia hung his head, 'I'm such a fucking idiot. Look, River, I'm so sorry about this. Can we just forget it ever happened, please?' when he got no reply he sighed, 'thanks, I… I'll leave you alone now.' And with that, he picked up his sunglasses, wiped them clean and began walking to the end of the garden.
'Wait!' Hutt River held out his hand. Molossia turned around, looking at him curiously. 'Please don't go. I'll be down in a minute!' He disappeared from the window and shut the curtains.
Molossia felt unable to move. He wanted to hope for the best but… nah, it was silly. Hutt River was a sophisticated, prosperous, level-headed, confident, and handsome, young man. What chance did he have of having his feelings returned? Molossia knew full well that his people skills weren't the best, far from it, to be frank, and Hutt probably never looked twice at him, at least without some negative judgement floating through his brain. The nation considered making a run for it, fleeing back to Perth and catching the next flight to anywhere in the US (he could just hitchhike back to his own house). He was about to move when Hutt River came bursting through the back door, fully clothed, hair rollers out, cape and all (how long had he been standing there freaking out?) and darted straight towards him.
'Mol I… I…' Hutt shook his head, grinning and pulling the other young man into a crushing hug, knocking the sunglasses off his face.
'Woah,' Molossia gave a nervous laugh, 'you… don't hate me?'
'On the contrary, Mr Jones,' Hutt smiled slyly, 'I… think I might be somewhat fond of you, if I was ever given the chance to know you.'
'Re-really?' Molossia raised an eyebrow, 'you don't think… I'm an idiot?'
'Oh you're an idiot all right,' Hutt nuzzled the other boy's nose, 'but I'm one too. Shall we be idiots together sometime- say- tomorrow at four?'
'My time or your time?'
Hutt raised an eyebrow, 'I'm sure we can figure that out later. Care for that hot chocolate and biscuits now? You must be exhausted!' he broke the hug and began to walk back towards the house.
'Fuckin' starving too,' Molossia grinned, following him. This, he decided, definitely turned out better than expected.
/
Hey look I wrote a story and no one got killed off! This was just a fluffy little fic inspired by a post on imagineyourotp (off that tumblr website) and, well, there's hardly any Molossia/Hutt River stuff floating around here (or anywhere) which is a shame because it's my favourite pairing. Ah well…
Yes, I knew this is kinda crappy. Hey, I haven't had much practice writing humour (yes, this is me trying to be funny) but I'll get better… hopefully.
As this is a one-shot I'd really like some feedback, please?
Oh, and I own neither the characters or the songs used. (Which were, by the way, 'Fuck you' by Lily Allen and 'Lady in red' by Chris de Burgh. Sorry if the song choice was kinda bad; don't have much in the way of love songs to choose from, so I just picked my favourite)
Oh, and this is my first non-human AU fic, so I'd like some feedback on how I did with that too.
