CHAPTER 1
John sat up in bed, sweat lining his face as he slowed his breathing to normal. John wiped the sweat from his face as he fought back against the tears stinging in his eyes.
"Why did you leave."? John asked himself.
He laid back down looking out the window seeing the night sky from his bed. The next morning John sat up removing the covers. He looked around his room and saw it was empty, like his life had become. John grabbed his cane and stood up. His limp was back and more likely worse then ever. He made his way to the kitchen starting the kettle, opening the cabinet he grabbed his cup. John always was hesitant after grabbing his, his mind wanted to grab two of them, but there was no need to anymore. Sherlock was gone and John wasn't even in their flat anymore. He only lasted close to six months before it became unbearable, the empty silence of what could be suffocated him.
Johns hand trembled as he poured the boiling water into the cup, since Sherlock was dead John had lost the battlefield from his sights. John Watson had lost all hope in life now, he was seeing his therapist twice a week and had to go out and spend time with a friend once a week. But for John he was just continuing to fall into his abyss uncertain of when he would hit the bottom.
Even with the painful memories John had, he wanted a reminder of Sherlock. Before he left the flat he took Sherlock's skull with him, the only object that kept the Doctor company sat on his mantle in the empty flat starring at him from afar. At times when Molly would pay him a visit, it would still shock her to see John in his chair with the skull cradled against his chest as he repeated Sherlock's name over and over again. This time Molly walked over to John tapping his shoulder to get his attention. John looked up at Molly with his empty eyes.
"What is it Molly"? John asked in a sad tone.
"John, lets you and I go out today, maybe a trip to the park for some fresh air. How dose that sound"? Molly stood there waiting and hoping he would say yes this one time.
John nodded and slowly made it to his feet, cane in hand while he still clutched onto the skull. Molly starred at the skull cradled in Johns other arm and then looked back at John. His eyes were tired looking and the dark circles under his eyes made John appear almost angry.
"John, can we leave the skull, it'll be here when you get back." Molly said taking a step back.
"your right I need to leave it here." John said placing the skull on the mantle.
When Molly's back was turned John snuck the skull a hug before leaving to go with Molly. Outside, the one place John wasn't too often these past months. Molly noticed the light was hurting Johns eyes a bit but John didn't say a thing about that. They both ended up in the middle of the park and were heading towards the pond when John stopped walking. Molly almost bumped into John before she stopped herself. Molly could see John was looking to the side and she shared Johns vision to see the red sprayed letters on one of the benches. It wrote out "Believe In Sherlock Holmes" that made John come unglued.
John felt the lump in his throat returning and soon enough John was crying. Molly grabbed Johns arm turning him around so he would face her.
"John, its going to be ok." Molly said rubbing Johns arm.
"Sherlock…." John said in a choked voice.
Molly pulled John into a hug before she let herself cry as well. John and Molly were accidentally bumped into by a elderly man walking in the park. John stumbled forwards dropping his cane.
"oh I'm sorry about that, good day." The old man said walking off his back hunched over.
Johns eyes popped open and suddenly he was limp-walking after the old man. Something about him woke something up in John. Maybe it was a slightly baritone similarity in the old mans voice that reminded him of Sherlock. John caught up with him grabbing the mans sleeve making him stop. The man turned around and looked John in the eyes.
"is there something wrong sir"? the old man asked.
"I, oh sorry, you just reminded me of someone I knew. Sorry to disturb you." John let go of the mans sleeve.
The old man starred at John for a long while. John noticed the mans eyes looked sad while he looked at him.
"are you ok sir"? John asked
"yes I'm fine, no need to worry about a old man like me…" The old man said trying for a smile.
John just starred towards the ground. The old man placed his hand on Johns shoulder. John looked up to the old mans eyes waiting for him to say something.
"you don't look to good, looks like someone stole the light from your eyes." The old man said taking a step back.
John nodded quickly wiping a tear from his eye. John turned to walk away when he felt the old mans hand on his shoulder briefly. John turned back around quickly when he herd the man fall to the ground. John knelt down to the old man worried.
"Sir are you alright"? John asked holding the mans arm.
"Just a little weak in the knees sonny." The old man said casually.
Molly was right at Johns side when he helped the old man to his feet slowly. When he was on his feet again he gave them a smile before turning away. John was beside the old man before he had a chance to create any distance between them.
"Sir, where do you live, let us help you home." John offered, having a distraction at the moment.
"oh, no I'm fine on my own." he said coughing a bit.
John persisted on walking him home after he herd the old man coughing. Molly grabbed John by the arm pulling him away from the old man smiling at him quickly. John and Molly reached the pond walking around it then made their way back to Johns flat. When Molly left John was able to reflect on what had happened earlier. To him it seamed strange he would feel almost alive just by walking by a old man but considering the state he was in anything probably could cause that reaction.
Later that night John had a reoccurrence of his nightmare. He was up on the roof of St Bart's shoving the heavy door open. John saw Sherlock on the ledge, he reached out his hand for him but Sherlock shook his head. John briskly walked towards Sherlock telling him it would all be alright and that they would find a way out of the mess that they were faced with. Sherlock turned to face John, his face looked sad. John almost stopped walking but refused to stop. Sherlock reached his hand out, the words he spoke dug there way into John as Sherlock turned and leaned forwards falling off of the roof. John ran over to the edge seeing a glimpse of Sherlock's coat one last time.
Johns eyes snapped open calling out Sherlock's name in the dark. He sat up quickly falling into reality once more, a reality without Sherlock Holmes.
More Chapters on the way. please let me know what you think of this chapter. much appreciated. :)