Hello sweeties! It's been a while, I know. I have been writing a lot of angst lately, so here's something to lighten the mood. :)
Sorry for the lines in between the text. I just thought that would make it clearer who's texting who and all that rubbish...
Enjoy!
4:00 P.M.
John. ~SH
JOHN. ~SH
We need more milk. ~SH
Sherlock, for God's sake, I'm at work right now.
Excuse me, this IS John Watson I am texting, correct? ~SH
Sherlock, what are you on about?
How am I to know who is texting me back if there are no initials to tell me so? ~SH
I don't have time for this.
Who doesn't have time for this? ~SH
~JW
Ah! John. It is you. ~SH
I hate you. ~JW
You'd be bored without me. ~SH
We need more milk. ~SH
Sherlock, I told you, I'm at work. ~JW
Irrelevant. ~SH
Milk. ~SH
Now. ~SH
I'm buried in paperwork right now. ~JW
Again, irrelevant. ~SH
Milk. ~SH
I'll pick it up later. ~JW
No. I need it now. ~SH
I can't GET it for you right now. ~JW
It's for an experiment. ~SH
I don't care. ~JW
Ooh look! A mouse! ~SH
What the actual fuck? ~JW
Language, John, please. ~SH
I caught it. ~SH
Good for you. ~JW
Where did you put my scalpel? ~SH
What? ~JW
My scalpel. ~SH
Your scalpel? ~JW
Yes, John, my scalpel. Where is it? ~SH
Why? ~JW
You answer my question first. ~SH
Bottom left drawer in the bathroom. Why? ~JW
Thank you. ~SH
Why, Sherlock? ~JW
Dissection. ~SH
EXCUSE ME? ~JW
SHERLOCK, IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON CUTTING THAT POOR MOUSE OPEN… ~JW
It's a mouse. A rodent. Rodents were practically made for scientific study such as this. ~SH
THIS ISN'T SCIENCE. THIS IS INCENTIVE TO GET ME TO GO OUT AND GET MILK. ~JW
Brilliant deduction. ~SH
I've duct-taped his tail to the baking sheet. ~SH
LET. THE MOUSE. GO. ~JW
Then go get milk. ~SH
LET IT GO RIGHT NOW, OR I SWEAR TO GOD… ~JW
What God? ~SH
UNHAND THE MOUSE. ~JW
Get me milk. ~SH
SHERLOCK HOLMES, I AM SERIOUS. ~JW
So am I. ~SH
It's struggling. ~SH
Such an intricate design on this scalpel… ~SH
DAMMIT, SHERLOCK. ~JW
I named him Jeffery. ~SH
You named the mouse, Jeffery? ~JW
Mhm. ~SH
Oh, don't squeak, Jeffrey, I only want to observe your organs. ~SH
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK SUCH AN ADORABLE NAME? ~JW
Incentive, John. Milk, please. ~SH
Such a nice scalpel. Such a healthy mouse. Ready for dissection, Jeffery? ~SH
I'M LEAVING WORK NOW. ~JW
I'M ON MY WAY TO THE TESCO. ~JW
I win. ~SH
I'M ALSO PICKING UP A PAIR OF SCISSORS. ~JW
Why the scissors? ~SH
Such lovely strings on your violin. It would be a shame if something bad happened to them. ~JW
You're bluffing. ~SH
You'd never hurt my violin. ~SH
How do you know? ~JW
Because if you were meaning to actually go ahead and cut the strings on my violin, you wouldn't have told me. ~SH
Aren't you clever? ~JW
That's been established. ~SH
Idiot. ~JW
4:59 P.M.
I'm bored. ~SH
Have you got the milk yet? ~SH
Jeffery, don't squirm. ~SH
I GOT THE MILK. LEAVE THAT BLOODY MOUSE ALONE. ~JW
He's not bloody yet… ~SH
PUT THE SCALPEL DOWN. I'M MAKING MY WAY TO THE FLAT RIGHT NOW. ~JW
Like I said before: I win. ~SH
I can't believe I left work to save a mouse. ~JW
Frankly, I can't either. ~SH
I really do hate you right now. ~JW
:3 ~SH
What the hell is that supposed to be? ~JW
Some sort of mischievous cat-face, I think? I hacked Molly's phone, and I saw that she had sent it to a good number of her friends… excluding you and me, of course. Looking at it sideways, I concluded it was some sort of cat-face. ~SH
A cat's sounding really appealing right now, isn't it, Jeffery? ~SH
DO NOT CUT THAT MOUSE OPEN. ~JW
I hear your key in the door. ~SH
Yes, and do you know what that means? ~JW
You're home. ~SH
No shit, Sherlock. ~JW
But it also means that I'm about to punch you so fucking hard in the face, it will leave BOTH Jeffery and I in stitches. ~JW
Jeffery might need stitches… ~SH
YOU DIDN'T. IF YOU... YOU COULDN'T HAVE... ~JW
You're right. I didn't. You just set me up for that joke. ~SH
You're a fucking idiot, you know that? ~JW
I love you too. ~SH
Yep. Definitely punching you in the face. ~JW