This is a follow up to one of my earlier stories "Return to Me". It featured Roslyn and Buck. It isn't necessary to have read "Return to Me"...but it does help. The story is set in Sweetwater...around 1867. This story is A/U
Roslyn pulled back the curtains and stared out the window. There was a time when she reveled in watching the prairie grass dance and shimmer against the backdrop of a fire red sunrise or a burning crimson sunset. But that was a lifetime ago. Now as she gazed out into the vastness, all she saw was Buck and the life they could have had.
It was a mistake she thought, to step back into Buck's life, even if it was just to see him once more. Roslyn had only meant to see if Buck was happy before she left the Country and returned home, that was all. But it didn't work out that way.
Leaning back she closed her eyes as if that would expel his handsome image, it didn't. His strong arms holding her once more coupled with the kiss he burned upon her lips and soul made her more than once consider breaking her strongly set resolve to leave. But logic prevailed, how could she destroy the life he had built for himself? But still his final words haunted her as he collapsed to the ground; "Roslyn, no! Come back. Return to me, Roslyn!"
Roslyn sat at a small dressing table. The taste and feel of his kiss still lingered in her memory as she started brushing out her long dark hair. Buck always loved touching her hair, she mused.
Shadows danced upon the wall as Roslyn dimmed the lantern on the table. Slowly with a tentative hand she brushed away the remaining wayward curls from her face and studied the image reflected the mirror. Idly she traced her fingers down the long jagged scar.
How, she wondered did Buck not seem to notice the ugly ragged cuts that spanned the length of her left brow, rippling down her cheek and neck? Tears started to form as she reached up with trembling fingers and touched the scar that sliced through her half closed opaque eye. She could have almost lived with the scarring, but why her eye? Why? It was too much. Yet Buck had looked at her, pushed her hair away and never saw the ugliness. He simply told her she was beautiful to him, that he still loved her with his whole being.
It was his kiss that had spoken to her soul and told of his longing desire and pent up passion for her. It was balm for her broken spirit. His touch, the love in his eyes had taken her breath. She was hideous yet within his dark eyes love shone pure and true. What had she done? She had swore she would return to him. She had told him that love was stronger than death, yet what was she doing now? Running away.
But how could he possibly love me, she wondered?
It had to be the initial shock of seeing me that must have blinded him to what was really in front of him. He's had time to think about what I said and realizes the truth in my words, otherwise he would have come. Buck's too stubborn. If he still wanted me he would have come after me. He wouldn't have let me get away.
Casting her gaze over the room, her eyes landed upon the untouched bed. She had left him crying out her name, his last words raking across her soul. It was the right thing to do, it was! But her heart was screaming that it was wrong, not even close to the right thing. They became one the night they loved each other and joined as one. That was the night before she had left him for the first time.
She should be in that bed with Buck, loving him with every ounce of life that coursed through her broken scarred body. She knew how Buck could love. It would be complete as each gentle touch of his hands, and tender caress would help heal her wounded spirit. Yet here she stood alone, with an aching heart just staring at a empty bed while Buck was still within her reach. Or was he?
Breaking her gaze away from the empty bed, Roslyn reigned in her wayward thoughts. Sitting back down at the dressing table she started braiding her thick dark hair for the night. A longing sigh escaped her. Roslyn knew she was doing the right thing for it didn't stop her from letting the memory of that long ago perfect night they shared wash over her.
It caused an almost forgotten warmth to pool in the lower pit of her abdomen as heat built within. Her cheeks burned hot. Suddenly she jumped up and shoved the room's single window open wide. Roslyn stripped off her robe, tossing it across the chair she had just occupied. A cool evening breeze blew into the dimly lit room, wafting over her feverish skin as her cotton gown fluttered around her slight frame.
Sitting back down, Roslyn resumed curling the final ends of hair into her long braid.
Soft foot falls out in the hallway caught her ear, then they stopped just as suddenly as they had started. Roslyn's heartbeat quickened as she cursed under her breath. All she had was a hairbrush to defend herself. Maybe, whoever was outside her door would move on. Her blood drained away as she heard the door knob rattle, then catch and slowly turn open.
Roslyn quickly rose to her feet, snatched up her robe and moved with haste toward the open window. She would rather take the risk of jumping than have a man attacking her.
Holding the flimsy garment close offered little cover as she clenched her hands tight around the hairbrush. Another curse slipped from her. How could she have been so stupid as to not have at least a knife for protection. Buck had taught her better than that. It was the tracking skills he had taught her so long ago that now helped her at least detect the almost silent footfalls outside her door. Roslyn took a small amount of comfort in that skill, as she stood poised to leap out the window. Her heart was racing as she waited for the intruder to enter.
Her mouth dropped open as her eyes widened. Roslyn watched in stupefied horror as the door slowly creaked open. Her voice fled as she caught sight of first one booted leg then the other. The man slipped into her room with the silent grace of a cat.
Roslyn's brush clattered to the floor as she took in the man standing before her. The dim flickering of light from the lantern cast the stranger in dark shadows which only provided a vague outline of his tall visage, nothing more.
But oddly, as Roslyn continued to peer at the man's form she sensed something familiar about him.
"Buck is that you?" She asked, while trying to keep the fear that was building in check.
The man stood silent for several moments before quietly turning back towards the door. The distinct metallic click told Roslyn that she was locked in, her only escape now would be the open window.
Watching him turn towards her she expected the man to step forward out of the shadows yet he didn't.
Roslyn could feel his eyes taking in every inch of her slightly clad form. She swallowed hard. It had to be Buck, she could just make out the sheathed knife tied to his boot.
But why wasn't he saying anything? Why did he just stand there? Unless it wasn't Buck. Roslyn instinctively took a step back at the same moment he stepped out of the shadows into the room's dim light.
"Buck! It is you" She breathed. Roslyn hadn't realized how long she had been holding her breath.
"What...why...what are you doing here? How did you..." Roslyn couldn't form an intelligible sentence.
Buck continued to stand unmoving. His dark eyes burned into her with a smoldering passion that left her weak, unable to move.
"I told you, Ros," his voice a low husky rumble. "You don't get to come back into my life and leave me like you did."
"I... I explained to you why I had to leave, Buck."
Her eyes widened further as Buck swiftly closed the distance between them. Finding her footing she stepped backwards until she felt the wall pressed against her back. Roslyn's one good eye flew up to meet Buck's intense gaze. Her breathing was erratic as she took in his familiar scent of sage, leather, mingled with...with... it tickled the recesses of her memory. As quick as her breaths were coming they suddenly hitched. She remembered and for a heart beat of a moment she was certain Buck was going to take her right there as he leaned in even closer to her. Roslyn knew she wouldn't stop him.
He reached out to gently brushed away dark curls, exposing more of her jagged scarring for his scrutiny. His breath was warm as it ghosted over the sensitive flesh sending shivers through her body. Buck finally broke eye contact letting his lips gently graze her soft skin, his breath hot against her ear.
"I love you Roslyn. You promised that you would return to me. I waited six long years. Don't you see, Ros? I need you to stay. I love you. I don't know how else to convince you? You won't listen to me. Maybe this will help convince you of how I love you and still want you as mine."
Before Roslyn could respond, Buck started his slow sweet assault. She trembled as she felt his warm firm lips kiss first her temple then her scarred eye, before trailing tender delicate kisses slowly down her scarred cheek, and jaw line. She let out a whimper and still he didn't stop. Roslyn thought she felt his lips form into a smile as he skillfully worked his mouth down her throat to the hollow in her collarbone then gave the same reverent attention as he worked his way back up other side of her face. Roslyn's whimper turned quickly to a moan as Buck sought out the sensitive place behind her ear. Her hands took on a life of their own as they planed up the front of his solid chest and clutched at the fabric of his shirt.
"Please, Buck..." she panted. He still hadn't forgotten how to drive her mad with longing desire while simultaneously rendering her weak with his kisses.
Buck pulled away long enough to bring his mouth a mere fraction away from her pink lips as he locked his dark brown eyes on her own.
"Please what, Ros? Do you really want me to stop? Because I don't think I've thoroughly convinced you yet."
Roslyn wasn't given the chance to utter a word. His lips, light as a butterflies wings delicately fluttered soft kisses on her full pink lips. Then as she started to move in time with Buck, he completely let go and captured her mouth fully. She moaned louder when she felt his tongue brush over her lower lip, begging entrance. A tidal wave of sensations washed over Roslyn as her mouth parted and Buck claimed her as his.
Everything fell away as she gave in, melding into him. It just felt right to let her arms snaked around his neck and tangle into his hair as she relished the familiar feel and taste of his deepened kisses. His fingers twined into the thick dark tresses of her unfastened braid. It took no time at all for Buck to work it free from its bindings. It tumbled about them in wild disarray as he moved even closer to her, kissing her with an impassioned hunger. Suddenly as she felt Buck's hand slide down her waist and cradled her hip, an audible groan escaped him. Without warning his lips retreated as softly as they had started, teasing her with their absence. A final taunt that made her resolve crumble.
He leaned into her forehead. Roslyn's torrid breaths mirrored his own as he cupped her face within his hands. Buck's deep brown eyes bore into her's.
"Tell me I've convinced you to stay with me!" Buck rasped.
"I...I..yes, yes Buck..."
She wasn't given the chance to finish her sentence as Buck's lips claimed hers in an all consuming passionate kiss. Among the myriad of sensations, Roslyn felt Buck's hands around her waist, pulling her tight against his solid frame. In the next moment she was pushed back into the wall. Roslyn gasped out Buck's name as a shock of heat coursed through her trembling body.
"Buck!"
Roslyn's eyes suddenly flew open as her head bumped against the side of the still moving stage coach.
Her frantic breathing and heartbeat slowed as her vision gradually came back into focus. Instead of looking deep into the dark chocolate eyes of Buck Cross, she was met by a pair of watery blue eyes peering with the utmost of concern at her.
"Where...What?..Where am I? Ohhhh." Roslyn groaned while rubbing her temples as the dream flooded back to her. Strange voices swirled about her, but all she could think about was Buck and his hot impassioned kiss and what was about to follow.
"Shhhh, it's alright Miss Huntington. Don't try to talk. You're a wee bit feverish that is all." The older woman spoke in a soft lilting voice.
"Ohh the poor little dear. Look at her face, so flushed. Oh... Eunice we must ask the coach driver to stop...I'm sure she is burning up with fever, the way she was moving her head about, she must have been close to delirium."
Oh Hortie, you are always so melodramatic. It's just a touch of fever brought on from this horrid carriage ride." Eunice replied. "All we need to do is remove that hood away from her face and unfasten her cloak."
"Oh my. You dear, dear girl...let me remove this..." Hortense soothed.
Roslyn was starting to regain her presence of mind as a frail hand reached out to brush back the hood of her cloak.
"No! Please, don't pull that back! " Roslyn suddenly sat bolt upright, clutching her hood close."I'm quite alright. Please..."
The two old spinsters looked shocked, stopped talking and stared at Roslyn.
"Please, I'm sorry. I'm fine. I'm just a little chilled, that is all. I don't wish to remove the cloak."
Hortense, sitting closest to Roslyn placed a frail gentle hand upon Roslyn's arm.
"It's alright my dear. We just thought you might feel better if you were not wearing that hood over your face. Some air will help you feel better."
"I think I'll just ask the coach driver to stop for a moment. I feel the need for some air." Eunice proceeded to rap the top of the coach with her cane.
"Please," Roslyn begged. "There is no reason to bother the coach driver. I'm fine, I have no fever. Thank you for your kind concern."
"This has nothing to do with kind concern, my dear." Eunice smiled warmly at the younger lady. "I have need for fresh air. I know how these long carriage rides can wear on a person's soul. You'll feel so much better after having a bit of air, I'm sure of it."
Moments later found Roslyn outside drinking in fresh dry air. Removing her hood she tilted her face toward the sky and let the cool breeze wash away the memory of Buck along with her torrid dream. But she still didn't feel any better.
There was a stream nearby and a young man riding shotgun took pity and led the two older women so they could freshen up. Roslyn tenderly helped the older women and soon they found themselves back inside the coach. Roslyn turned to look back out the window. She just wanted to lose herself.
"I'm so glad she removed that dreadful hood from off her pretty face. She does have such lovely long hair, don't you think, Eunice?"
"Yes she does, sister. You use to have hair like that, Hortie. I always envied you."
Hortense blushed at the compliment.
Roslyn turned away from the window to look at her two older traveling companions, "You both are such lovely ladies."
Eunice peered at Roslyn with those same watery blue eyes. "I hope you are feeling better?"
"I am. Thank you," Roslyn paused. "I...I am sorry for my actions earlier. I didn't mean to cause such a scare for the both of you."
"Oh it was no scare at all my dear child. We were just concerned, thats all." Hortense patted Roslyn's disfigured gloved hand.
Looking over at her younger sister, Eunice smiled, "Hortie's right. We were just concerned. You just seemed so agitated. We just hoped you were not sickening."
"Well, concern or not, I still owe you both an apology for my strange behavior. I was just having a ….just having a …" What was she having? How could she tell these proper older ladies she was having a rather steamy lustful dream with a man that meant everything to her and she had let him go?
"A bad dream, my dear?" Hortense supplied?
Roslyn just nodded her head. The only thing bad, Roslyn thought was that it ended far too soon.
"Does this have anything to do with that young man, Buck?" Eunice quietly asked.
Her cheeks burned crimson as her eyes flew up and met the older woman's gaze straight on, revealing fully her scared features.
Eunice didn't gasp at the sight before her, only reached her hand out to the young women.
"We don't mean to pry. If you wish to talk about this..about this young man, Buck, well we're good listeners."
Not to be left out, Hortense supplied, "We might be spinsters but we've been around a good long while. We might be able to offer you some advice, one never knows."
Roslyn looked at the kindly older women,as tears pricked her eyes.
"It is a long way to St. Joseph. Both of you dear ladies have been so very kind to me." Roslyn smiled warmly at the spinsters. "You're not prying at all. Perhaps it will be good to tell someone else what happened and why I can never be with Buck." Roslyn pulled all her hair away from her scarred face and began telling her ill fated tale.
The sun pushed it's way upward, breaking over the horizon in a vivid display of crimson as it sought it's rightful place in the morning sky.
Buck, chanting the last of his prayers to the Great Spirits, held his face up toward the rising sun, letting the early morning rays wash over him. Then he let his head fell into his chest.
The ride back to the old station wasn't long enough in Buck's opinion to sort out all his feelings. The only thing that was clear to him was that he had to go after Roslyn. He couldn't let her leave. They belonged together, they were joined as one. Yet with each hoof beat, the calming prayers of the morning were quickly coming undone by the questions he had about Roslyn's return.
How could Ros just come back into his life and then leave him, saying it was better for them to be apart? It wasn't. She had no right to make that decision for the both of them. Buck clenched his jaw and tried to tamp down the anger that was mounting within him. How could she just take away his chance to have a say, to dismiss his feelings as if they meant nothing? Buck urged his horse on faster. He had to make her see,...to understand that they belonged together because she held his heart just as tight as he held hers.
As the former station came into view, Buck noted that life was beginning to stir as he rode in towards the barns. Jeremiah was already getting the horses their morning feed, while he spotted Lou carrying a basket of fresh eggs from the chicken coops.
"Lou," He breathed as he raked his fingers through his hair. Buck knew he would have to talk to her, he owed her that. But that would have to wait, she would understand. Roslyn couldn't wait. Each moment that slipped through his fingers was a moment lost before Ros boarded the stage for St. Joe.
As he dismounted Gomda, the first thing to hit his ears was Teresa, calling out to him as she ran towards him.
"Buck! Buck!"
"Theresa, little one. What's got ya in such a...offfff." He stumbled back at the force of her hug.
Theresa wrapped her arms tight about Buck's waist, "I'm so glad you're home. I'm so sorry, Buck. I thought you were angry with me, I thought you wouldn't come back to us...I really thought it was her. I'm sorry, I really thought it was her...I just wanted you to be happy...I saw her...she knew you...she wore you necklace..."
"Hey, Hey, Theresa. Calm down, it's okay. It would take an awful lot for me to be angry with ya." Buck hugged her back just as tight. Then pulled away.
Stooping down, he gently brushed away her tears. "You have no reason to think I was mad at you, little one. Who you saw..it...it was...It really was Roslyn that you saw." Buck managed to finally stammer out. Her image still vivid in his mind.
Theresa's eyes grew wide. "I knew it was her...I knew she would return..." Her enthusiastic words trailed off as she looked deep into Buck's eyes and saw the pain within their dark depths.
"She didn't come back with you?"
"No," was all Buck could choke out.
"Theresa, I need you to do something for me." Buck grasped her shoulders. "Can you take Gomda to the barn? Find Jeremiah. Tell him to saddle a fresh horse for me."
"I'll do anything for ya Buck," Theresa beamed up at him. "Are you going to find Roslyn?"
"Yes. Tell Rachel that I don't know when I'll return. But I'll send word." He placed a gentle hand upon her cheek.
"Can you do that for me?"
Theresa nodded.
He gave her a crooked yet weak grin. "Good. Go on Theresa. I promise to explain it all to you when I return."
Buck watched as Theresa took Gomda's reins and lead the fine chestnut gelding towards the barn. Turning he headed towards the Bunkhouse to change. Once stripped out of his work shirt, Buck quickly washed and threw on the first clean shirt his hand landed upon. He wasn't really thinking about appearance. He had to get to Roslyn before she left. Buck was determined to see her and talk to her. He couldn't let it end like this..he couldn't lose her again.
As he walked out of the bunkhouse toward his fresh mount, Fire Spirit, he paused. Looking towards the main house and spotted Lou running towards him.
"Buck! Buck, wait."
Buck caught her up in his arms. "Lou..."
"Where were you? We've been worried bout ya, Buck."
He gently put a measure of distance between them, "I'll explain when I get back. I promise, Lou. I have to catch her before she leaves."
Lou watched him mount Fire Spirit, "It really was Roslyn,Theresa saw. Wasn't it, Buck?"
"Yeah. I'm going after her." He swung the Buckskin in the direction of Sweetwater, "Hee-yah!"
As Lou watched Buck leave in a flurry of hooves and dust her heart sank. "Ride safe, Buck."
Sweetwater Hotel.
"What do you mean she's gone?! Where? Where did Roslyn go?" Buck nearly grabbed the hotel clerk by the collar.
The young desk clerk took a step back. "I...I don't know, Sir," He stammered. "All it says in the hotel registry is that a Miss Roslyn Huntington checked out yesterday around 2:00 p.m. That's all I know."
"And you're sure you have no idea where she was going?" Buck leaned further in over the counter.
The intensity burning in Buck's eyes had the young man rather shaken. "I...I...just started my shift this morning. I...I didn't work yesterday. I'm sorry Sir. I wish I had more to tell you, honest."
"Damn!" Buck hissed under his breath as he slammed his fist down on the counter.
"Is everything alright?"
Buck swung around at the sound of the strangers voice and locked eyes with the well dressed older Gentleman.
"Everything is just fine," Buck growled and started walking towards the door.
The older gentleman chased after Buck and managed to catch up to him outside the Hotel.
"Sir...Sir wait!" He huffed out the words. "I think I can help you."
Buck stopped and looked suspiciously at the older man. "How?"
"Well, please forgive me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop back there. But I couldn't help overhearing that you are looking for a certain young lady. Does she happen to have long dark hair, wear a dark cloak with a hood casting her face in shadows?"
"Yeah. That's Ros, I mean Roslyn. How do you know her? Where did she go?" Buck couldn't keep the desperation out of his voice.
The older man smiled. He knew a man desperate in love when he saw it.
"Relax," the older man soothed. "The young lady you seek is now well along on her way to St. Joseph."
"What? No. I was certain she was leaving today." Buck felt like someone had kicked him in the gut.
"Oh, but she was quite on her way to St. Joe," the older man paused. "I'm sorry for my bad manners. The name is William Gould."
"Buck, Buck Cross."
"Nice to meet you," He shook the young Kiowa's hand heartily. "I met Miss...Oh what was the young lady's name now? Oh a dreadful thing getting old." Gould, grumbled.
"Huntington," Buck supplied.
"What? Oh, aaahh yes, that's right! That was her name, Miss Huntington. A lovely young lady. She seemed quite intent on gaining passage on yesterday's stage to St. Joseph. There were no more seats available so I offered her mine. I figured I could put off my plans for one more day. I was no real hurry. I had a good run at the gaming tables so I thought I would enjoy one more night here in Sweetwater and board the stage this morning."
"She's gone," Buck whispered in disbelief. "She really left me."
Gould studied Buck for a moment. He knew the look resting in the young man's eyes all too well. "You can still catch her you know."
"What? I'm sorry, what did you say?" Buck was still reeling from the news.
"Go after her. If I recall properly, the stage they are on will make it into Julesburg sometime tomorrow, there is a scheduled layover. That should buy you enough time to catch up with the stage. If you leave now and ride hard you should make it into St Joseph before the stage.
Buck frowned as he considered the thought of riding off after Roslyn and the distance he would have to cover.
"Why are you helping me?"
"You love her." It was more a statement than a question.
Buck didn't have to say a word, the heartbreak in his eyes was evident.
"Buck, call me an old romantic..a sentimental old fool. I don't care which. But I'd be safe to bet that your Miss Huntington is in love with you as well. I've been in your shoes and foolishly lost it all. Let me give you a piece of advice...Sometimes it's better to risk it all and play the odds then to play it safe."
Buck smiled for the first time, hope building. "I know that route to St Joe. I think I can take some back trails. Save me some time." Buck shook Gould's hand.
William Gould shook Buck's had just as warmly, "Now just don't stand here dawdling about, son... Go after her."
Roslyn smiled as she watched a sleeping Hortense snore softly. Quietly she removed her cloak and placed it around the sleeping form of the older lady. At that very moment she reminded Ros more of a sleeping little girl than an older woman who lived a lifetime of experiences.
"I believe Hortie can sleep through just about anything." Eunice's lilting voice broke through Ros' musings.
"I thought you were sleeping as well."
"Just resting my eyes, my dear, just resting my eyes." Eunice replied.
"You can just nudge Hortie if her snoring bothers you. You won't wake her, just stop her snores long enough to keep one from going insane," Eunice chuckled to herself.
"She's alright. I don't mind the snoring," Roslyn replied with a faraway smile. "It reminds me of Buck, when he snores."
"Oh?"
Roslyn felt her cheeks warm, "Well, it's not what ...well it is..." She stammered.
Eunice's chuckle of a moment ago turned into a hearty laugh. "My dear Roslyn, Hortie and myself may be spinsters but we are far from being old prudes." She gave Ros a impish wink.
"I'm quite sure you two have some stories to tell." Roslyn giggled as her composure gradually returned.
"We most certainly do. Like our trip across Africa, now that was a real adventure to be sure. Animals the likes of which you've never before seen."
Roslyn's brow shot up in wonder, "Oh that must have been amazing."
"It was, it was." Eunice leaned in closer to Ros, "But right now I want to hear more about this snoring young man of yours, Buck Cross."
A smile spread across Roslyn's face as she recalled that day. "It was one of those perfect late summer afternoons. I was busy in the school house grading reports. Buck suddenly showed up with an apple in his hand along with a mischievous smirk. He simply charmed me, then whisked me away from my work, and I didn't mind at all," Roslyn laughed. "We went for a long ride and then had a picnic lunch down by a little creek we had found on one of our other outings together."
"That sounds lovely." Eunice sighed.
"Just lovely. Such a romantic setting," Hortense said with a sleep yawn. "I'm I too late? Have I missed out on all the good bits?"
"No, Hortie. You're just in time. Now if you just hush, our dear girl can tell us how she came to discover Buck snores."
"Buck snores. Oh dear me."
It had been such a long time since Ros felt like a silly schoolgirl sharing stories about Buck. But looking at the expectant faces of her two new friends she found herself enjoying the giddy feel of first falling in love with Buck Cross all over again.
"Well we had settled on a nice spot near a babbling little creek and enjoyed our picnic. He always had a way of making me laugh, making all sorts of faces as he told stories about his time with Ike at the Mission School. Or riding for the Express and the antics his brothers would get into." She paused lost in some long ago tale he had told her.
"Will you just look at her, Eunice. She's positively glowing," Hortense whispered.
"Oh I know, I know, Hortie. If she could just see herself right now. That's how Buck sees her I am certain of it."
"And what are you two dears whispering about, Hmmm?"
Both spinsters jumped like little kids caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Oh! Please forgive a couple of old ladies. We were so caught up in your story, and you looked so lovely, well we couldn't help admiring you. Isn't that right Eunice?" Hortense looked innocently at her older sister.
"Oh quite right! If your young man could see you right now... But look at us going off on some tangent. Please, will you continue on with your story?"
Ros laughed lightly and blushed at the undeserved compliment.
"Buck had told several stories that day and I learned so much about him. Then he teased me, even went as far as tickling me. I'm horribly ticklish and when Buck found out, well... I was at his mercy." Roslyn giggled.
"He told me I would soon know everything there was about him while he knew little about me. Then, to my surprise he settled his head in my lap, told me he wasn't moving until I told him some stories from my childhood. Then he smiled that crooked grin of his as he looked up at me with those brown puppy dog eyes that never failed to make my heart skip a beat and promptly crumble my resolve."
"Well he is clever fellow for sure. And rather bold." Hortense replied with mock primness.
"Hortie," Eunice chided. "Since when have you ever been prim. And besides it's always been the bold clever men that you always took a fancy to."
"There was only one!" Hortense shot back.
"And you didn't mind letting him lay his head in your lap, now did you?" Eunice winked cheekily.
Hortie proceeded to wrinkle her nose and stick out her tongue at her older sister.
Ros almost fell on the floor with fits of giggles at the goings on of the two spinsters.
"My dear, Roslyn. We've done it again." Eunice bemoaned, "We have pulled you away from your lovely story with Buck. Please go on. What did Buck do next when he settled his head in your lap?"
"Oh no. Don't tell me he fell asleep on you." Hortie slapped her hand to her mouth in shock.
"Hortense! Hush now and let her tell the story." Eunice rolled her eyes at Ros, "Some days I just don't know what goes on in that head of hers."
"Buck did in fact fall asleep in my lap. I don't even remember what tale exactly I was relating. He had begged me to tell him something about my home in England. I had hardly even begun when I suddenly heard snoring. Can you believe it?" Roslyn asked with a laugh. "Here we were on a lovely romantic picnic and not only does he fall asleep while I'm telling him a story, he starts to snore. He must have thought me such a dreadful bore."
"Nonsense, my dear. He must have felt safe and at peace with you to let his guard down like that and fall asleep right in your lap." Hortense replied with a sigh.
Roslyn's smile turned wistful as a faraway look stole over her features. "Peaceful. That is how he looked. Buck always kept his emotions locked up. But when we were alone together, or he was with his family I would catch a beautiful glimpse at the real Buck Cross. Yet the mask he wore never completely fell away until the day Buck fell fast asleep in my lap. All the hurt, every cruel thing that happened to him and all his worries that he carried just melted away as he slept." A sigh escaped Roslyn's lips.
"I thought he was such a handsome man, but watching him sleep, well the sight of him simply took my breath. Peaceful really doesn't quite describe how he looked. He looked free, like I was granted a wonderful glimpse into his very soul. I could have stayed like that forever, gazing down at Buck, while gently brushing away strands of hair away from his face. Buck always had such lovely wind swept hair." Tears suddenly pricked her eyes, as she lost herself in the memory once more.
"If it were possible to freeze one single moment in time and bottle it up so that we could relive it, that day would be the one I would keep. Of all the memories and images I carry of Buck, It's his peaceful sleeping form that I still recall each night before drifting off to sleep."
Hortense simply placed an arm around Roslyn as Eunice squeezed her hand.
"It's alright my dear child, go ahead and cry," Eunice softly entreated.
Tears were sliding down Roslyn's cheek as she whispered, "Buck kissed me that day, you know. It was our first real kiss."
Hortense pulled Roslyn into her arms and held the young lady, while Eunice continued to hold her damaged twisted hand. Both women feeling every ounce of her hurt and pain.
After several moments, Roslyn regained her composure as Hortense studied her face.
"Are you going to be alright, my dear?"
Roslyn sniffled and nodded, "I'm … I'm fine. Thank you both of you for understanding. I must seem like such a foolish girl."
"Nonsense. You're not foolish at all. Just a young lady who is still in love with a man that captured her heart, nothing foolish in that." Hortense said with a sweet smile.
"It's not too late you know. You still have time to turn around and return to Sweetwater." Eunice soothed.
"Yes it is," Roslyn choked. "Buck and I had our chance. Buck has worked hard for what he now has. He thought I was dead. I would only... I would only...He is with Lou now. They have a life..I can't... My leaving is the only right thing to do for the both of them. Eventually Buck will forget all about me."
"Fiddlesticks! Right thing to do. For who? You? Buck? He will never forget you, just as I know you will spend the rest of your life living in regret." Hortense muttered.
"Why are you so intent on running away from Buck?" Hortense turned her intense steel blue eyes upon the young woman.
Roslyn's eyes widened upon hearing the older woman's strong words.
"Hortense!" Eunice rebuked her sister.
"I've sat back and listened long enough, Eunice." Hortense moved so she could sit across from Roslyn and gathered up her hands within her aged arthritic ones.
"You are a dear sweet girl, Roslyn. I can see why Buck adores you. But it seems you are just as stubborn as he is. You told us that Buck once tried to push you away. It seems to me that you are now doing something similar. Except you're not pushing him away, you're just running away.
I'm...I'm..not running away from Buck. I love him too much. It's better for Buck, this way. He is better off with Lou."
"Piffle," Hortense snorted.
"It is true!" Ros argued. "Look at this. She pulled her gloved hand from Hortense's grasp, pulled off the glove and waved her distorted hand around her face. I'm hideous.. Love or not..how can I ever hope to be a proper wife for Buck with a face that sends people into fits of terror? How could he possibly love a face like this?"
"Because you're beautiful." Eunice simply supplied. "Scars are not ugly. They are a sign of strength and survival, and that is a thing of beauty, isn't that right, Hortie?"
"Yes. You're a very beautiful strong young woman. Buck loves your spirit, not the container that holds it." Hortense reached her trembling hand out to brush away tears from Roslyn's scarred cheek.
"Now tell me," Hortense let her hand rest on Roslyn's cheek, " You have not really answered my question. Why are you so intent on going back to England?"
Roslyn stared at the two older women. A million answers came to mind, none reached her mouth except one. "She's beautiful, Lou.. I mean Louise. She is so very beautiful, and I saw them together. Back at the old station. Buck was laughing with her like he use to with me. It was HIS warm carefree laugh... " Roslyn pursed her lips, trying to stifle back tears. "I also watched Buck kiss her. How can I destroy what happiness Buck and Lou have finally found with each other? I can not do that to him. It's best this way, that I quietly leave." The utter hopelessness in her eyes left Hortense and Eunice speechless.
Then she added in a desperate whisper, "And he never even tried to come after me."
"You don't know that for certain, Roslyn. And besides, you didn't really give Buck much of a chance to come after you, did you my dear?" Eunice asked with her typical logic.
"No, I suppose I didn't"
"But," Hortense added with sudden enthusiasm, "Your young man might just be waiting in St. Joe for you. Being a former Pony Express rider, I'm sure he could beat a stage coach. Especially one as rickety as this old thing."
Roslyn sighed, "Buck will not come. Not after the way I left him." Her throat tightened at the memory. "Those final words...I still hear them."
"And would you? If Buck was waiting for you in St. Joe, would you return with him?" Eunice quietly asked.
The question caught Roslyn off guard. "I ...I don't know...Yes I ...but he never would."
The two sisters smiled at each other.
"You can't say never, Roslyn," Hortense said as she placed her hand within Roslyn's.
"What is that little saying you told Buck when you left him...oh my memory... Don't get old, my dear child. Do you remember it Eunice?"
"Love is stronger than death."
Hortense smiled, "Yes, yes that's it. You still have a chance my dear girl. The question now is, what are you going to do with it?"
As bumpy as the stage coach was, Roslyn managed to hug the two spinster sisters. They both had given her a great deal to think about, but her logical mind was still doing battle with a heart that screamed for her to return to Buck. In his arms was where she belonged, not in some far away remote part of England.
Buck had purposefully made a short stop into Julesburg for a few needed supplies. But his real aim was accomplished when he discovered that he had gained a half day on the stage Roslyn was on. Now all he had to do was keep his current pace, pray that nothing happened and he would hopefully beat the stage into St. Joseph.
The sun was just hovering over the horizon as Buck made camp for the night. He soon had a crackling fire going and a hot cup of coffee in hand. Propping himself against his saddle he rifled through his saddle bag. His fingers readily landed on what he was seeking; a care worn envelop.
Gently he pulled an old photograph out. Buck brushed his fingers tenderly over the image.
"Ros," he sighed.
Her lovely image was forever burned into his memory, but he still loved gazing at her photograph all the same.
As he continued studying the care worn photo, what Buck now saw in his mind was the recent vivid reality of Roslyn.
Had he not actually held Roslyn in his arms or kissed her sweet mouth he would have sworn it was all some sort of cruel vision given to him by the trickster spirit. But the memory of her arms wrapped tight around him, her lips tasting his confirmed in Buck's mind that Roslyn Huntington was no vision. She was real and alive, six years alive.
Buck thoughtfully traced his finger over Ros' image. Her beautiful porcelain face now contained ribbons of jagged scars that told a story all their own of the horrors she endured. That in itself pained him to the core, but knowing he wasn't there to protect her only added to his helplessness.
A solitary tear slipped down his cheek as he thought about the physical and emotional suffering she had faced all alone. Then Ros, true to her nature, stoically picked up the pieces of her shattered life, moving on alone without him. Why did she do it, stay away from him? He wondered?
Because...because she felt she no longer had anything to offer you, that she thought herself dead.
Dead. That was the word she used. The thought alone struck him sharp like a knife twisting inside his heart.
Then, for a brief moment, Ros had stepped back into his life and awoke something that had laid dormant within him. Now once again she left him, and resigned herself to a life of solitude. Buck couldn't let her slip back into that life. The pain of losing her again was far too great to even consider.
All he wanted was to make her feel his complete and absolute love. With each tender word and soft touch, Buck knew he could help take away some of the grief and suffering Ros endured until it was all just a faded memory. Soon she would no longer feel dead, but alive!
Ros, how could you think I would ever stop loving you? Please, trust me Roslyn. You don't have to struggle any more alone. You're not dead. You returned to me. Let me in and help you the way you helped me and loved me?
Buck wasn't sure how long he stared into the fire's flames. But he suddenly felt cold, tired and just wanted to have Roslyn in his arms. He let the fire burn low then settled into his bed roll. He still had a hard ride ahead of him. Before sleep finally claimed him he whispered, "Goodnight Ros. I love you. I'm coming for you."
Roslyn and Buck...well their initial story "Return to Me" was meant to be a one shot, stand alone story. But I fell in love with these two and wondered what would happen if given a second chance at that once in a life time love...would you grab at it again or walk quietly away. And there were Ros' scars to consider and Buck's reaction.
Many readers wanted to know more.. so here is the second installment in the Buck and Ros series...there will be more to come. I promise. These two have managed to hog tie me down and write their story...so more is on its way...
Please let me know what you think.
This story would never have seen the light of day if it had not been for the eyes of Jenna and Anita on this piece of writing. I can't thank you both enough for your help on this. :)
The ladies at the plus for your encouragement and support... amazing ladies for sure!
You dear readers who take the time to read my wee bit of writing..hugs to you. I hope you enjoy Buck and Ros as much as I do...
Ohhh... yes there will be more of the spinster sisters, Hortie and Eunice. And Mr Gould...our dapper older Gentleman ..you will see more of him.