This humorous list was inspired by Masta of da House's "Things I am not allowed to do in Naruto". Go check it out, it's great.
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1. I will not be referring to Yukari-sensei as "Tsundere-sensei".
2. I will not ask Osaka what time it is when she is drinking from a glass.
3. I will not pursue lewd subjects with Chiyo. Even if I'm sure she knows all about that.
4. I will not beat up Kaorin in order to get rid of competition. Sakaki wouldn't approve of it.
5. I will not invite Kimura-sensei to the summer house. Even though he wouldn't mind.
6. I will not offer pot to Osaka.
7. I will not offer amphetamine to Tomo.
8. I will not shout "Shut up!" every time someone interrupts Osaka's musings. Even if I'm really interested in what she has to say.
9. Chiyo is not a loli.
10. I will not introduce Yukari-sensei to vodka.
11. I will not wear cat ears just to get closer to Sakaki.
12. I will not suggest it to Kaorin either.
13. I will not take Chiyo's ponytails off and put it on random people when everyone's asleep. That one time was just too troublesome.
14. Whatever I might think, Yomi is not a mad scientist.
15. Nor is she a demon from Japanese mythology.
16. Chiyo is not a mad scientist either, nor is a daughter of such.
17. I will not shout "Toryaaaaaa!!!" every time I manage to pick up food with chopsticks.
18. Suggesting a highway race between Yukari-sensei and Narumi Yui from Lucky Star was a bad idea and I know it.
19. I will not surround Osaka with lava lamps and plasma balls.
20. I will not challenge anyone to a drinking, smoking, or sex contest. Especially Kagura.
21. Even though I think Chiyo is a natural flyer, I will not insist that she should carry an open umbrella during a typhoon.
22. I will not try to get Sakaki drunk just to see what happens.
23. Chiyo's father is not a shinigami.
24. I will not replace summer fireworks with stinkbombs.
25. In the future, I will keep my fantasies about Sakaki to myself instead of sharing them with Kaorin.
26. Chiyo can't do Gatsuuga no jutsu with Tadakichi-san.
27. I will not pose as a rich American looking for wife. Especially around Yukari-sensei.
28. Again, world sexual record is not something I should encourage Kagura to beat.
29. I will not play snotball with Chiyo. Especially using her as the ball.
30. Yuri has boundaries too.
31. I should stop suggesting that in a few years Maya will be big enough for Sakaki to ride on his back, not matter how badass it would be.
32. I will not secretly spice up Osaka's bento.
33. Placing Chiyo in the same room with the entire Kanamemo cast is generally considered a no-no.
34. Wearing Dead Kitty emblem around Sakaki was just cruel and I should be ashamed of my actions.
35. When travelling in Yukari-sensei's car, I will not randomly shout "Oh look! Free beer!"
36. I will stop asking Osaka about her phone.
37. Sakaki is not an android, and I should stop implying that she is.
38. I will not give Tomo sharp objects.
39. I will not pester Yomi about when she is going to confess to Tomo.
40. I will not offer to lick Sakaki's bite wounds.
41. I will not teach Tomo how to sing "I Know A Song That Gets on Everybody's Nerves". (Credits to Masta of da House.)
42. I will not pretend to be Sakaki's manager in front of her fangirls.
43. Yomi's Double Chop is not a Forbidden Technique. Still, I am not allowed to use it.
44. I will not show or sell any pictures to Kimura-sensei, even if they are "relatively innocent".
45. Even if I think Chiyo's pigtails are creepy, I should keep that fact to myself.
46. Nyamo-sensei does NOT have a crush on Yukari-sensei. Probably.
47. I will not steal Kimura-sensei's glasses and put it on Tomo when she's asleep, just because she would look like Vash the Stampede gone goth.
48. I will not play around with Kaorin's telescope so that it is directed at Sakaki's window.
49. Even if I do, I will not use it myself.
50. I will not put things in Kimura-sensei's mouth.
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That's it for now. I don't plan on adding more items here, but if you like it I might change my mind. :)
R&R!