Summary : Conmama Oneshot. Set as if time froze after greatest hits; Charlie died its months after, Kate dies, will Claire know what to do for Sawyer? She knows all he needs is a friend. Also includes PB&J and Skate.
Ok, so I usually write, Skate, PB&J and Shayid... and more Skate! Just here to try and prove to myself (and readers) I can write other ships - not really romantic, just friendship!
Claire sat at the grave, the cross in the sand of this hellhole island, the island that had given so much… John could walk, Kate could be free, more importantly for Claire she had kept Aaron – she couldn't imagine life without him. But then again it had taken so much – too much, Boone, Shannon, Ana Lucia, Libby… Charlie.
She let her hand trace over the wood, rubbing her palm gently over the roughly chipped out letters Charlie Pace. The hard, heavy silver of his driveshaft ring clanked across the wood. She had found it when they returned, tucked gently on Aaron's pillow, she knew how much the ring had meant to Charlie, and he had left it behind… for Aaron.
Claire had felt terrible when she found the ring, she had felt sick to her stomach, Charlie would have known he was going to die or he wouldn't have left the ring behind, wouldn't have written the letter Desmond had given her, the letter she now treasured keeping it tucked up in her jeans all the time. She remembered the last things he asked her, not to worry about him while he was gone. He obviously knew he would be gone forever, never to return.
It had been months since Charlie died, but she never moved on, never forgot what he did for her. She hated herself for all the time she had spent being angry at him… hating him even, although it may have been the right emotion to feel at the time. All that time she could have spent with him, getting to know him better but instead she spent it wanting to be as far away from him as possible.
Claire was glad that at least they had made up a while before, so they had spent some time together before he died.
She could still remember the first time she felt when she was his unmoving waterlogged body heavy in Desmond's arms. When she had realised he must have known he was going to die, she remembered before what Charlie had told her before about Desmond's flashes and she knew immediately that it was how he knew.
She had been angry, first with Charlie for not telling her what he obviously knew, but she soon let that go, knowing that if he told her she would have never have let him go and knowing how hard it would be for him to tell her something like that. Then she was angry at Desmond, why did he let him do it? Why did he let Charlie go through with it?
Amongst all her heart crippling sadness, she spent her days begging, screaming and pleading with Desmond to tell her why he had let Charlie go through with it, and even more why Charlie had done so.
At first he refused to tell her, but she could still remember the day she did, the conversation they had, she knew she would never forget it.
"Please Desmond" Claire whispered, her eyes shining with tears "Just tell me please"
"Claire, just trust me, he needed to do it" Desmond had said softly.
"But why? Why did he leave me?"
"I told him… what I saw in the flash" Desmond sighed.
"Why?" Claire said feeling anger rise in her "Why tell him something that would make him want to…" She broke off gulping.
"I told him that I saw you and Aaron" Desmond said.
"Saw us what?" Claire said hugging Aaron towards her protectively.
"I shouldn't really tell you… I shouldn't get your hopes up" Desmond shook his head.
"Tell me Desmond, if it was important enough for Charlie to die for its important enough for me to know"
"I told him I saw him dying… then I saw you and Aaron you were… there was a helicopter… you were both getting on, you were being rescued" Desmond admitted.
Claire felt a flicker of hope run trough her, rescue? She could bring Aaron up properly, they would have everything they needed… except Charlie. He had died thinking Claire and Aaron would be rescued. Claire began to cry at this.
"Thank you Desmond" Was all she said softly before turning away and walking through the sand.
It had been 3 months and Claire had visited this cross in the sand everyday… sometimes bringing Aaron, sometimes leaving him with Sun. She talked as if he we there sitting next to her, telling him about her day and how big Aaron was getting… all the things she knew would make him smile.
"I miss you Charlie… I miss you so much" She whispered sadly, her eyes filling up "I love you… I'm sorry for all the time I spent hating you… I really am… I'll never forget you"
Claire stood up carefully brushing the sand off her pants, as she walked away she couldn't help but notice the fresh grave a few feet away from her, a grave only filled a few days ago.
"Ill miss you too Kate" She said softly, running her hand along Kate's cross in the sand before leaving.
When Claire had just arrived back at camp, she realised she had left her water bottle behind. Deciding to turn back to fetch it before she collected Aaron from Sun she headed back towards the graves.
When she arrived she saw something she didn't expect.
Sawyer was knelt in front of Kate's grave. He was crying, she could see the tears glinting on the side of his face, she could see his lips moving as he spoke, probably to Kate, although she couldn't hear what he was saying.
Claire felt like a peeping tom, looking in on something as personal as grieving a loved one. She wondered if she should announce herself or just walk away. She knew Sawyer would probably be angry if she saw him like this, but she also knew, through experience, that maybe he needed someone just to talk to properly, not to say sorry or give him a sympathetic glance.
She slowly approached though he didn't hear her. She placed her hand softly on his shoulder, he looked up and saw her, he started to try and blink back his tears.
"I'd be lying if I said it got easier" Claire said softly kneeling down beside him.
"I know" He whispered, attempting to give her a small smile but failing.
"Its ok to be upset Sawyer… you loved and lost, you don't need to hide it" Claire said caringly, reaching out for her water bottle and then leaving him to grieve in peace.
Hours later Sawyer sat in his tent, only days before Kate would have been lying next to him… now she would never again. He'd loved… no he loved her so much it hurt to think about her, hurt to breathe, hurt to carry on. He'd never felt such pain before, even with his parents, because although he loved them, he hadn't been in love with them.
He had seen his pain mirrored in one person, one person who could maybe understand… she was going through it herself. Claire.
He felt so alone now, he had never really cared about having friends, but know he needed someone just to… be there. But not someone who patronised or sympathised him. Someone who understood.
As if on autopilot he stood up and walked across to Claire's tent. The young woman was leant over Aaron's crib, cooing with him softly.
"Hey Claire I uh… just wanted to say, ya know thanks for today and… I know Charlie looked after you and the rugrat… it must be hard for you now on yer own… I suppose I'm saying if you need any help… ya know food, water… I'd be happy ta help you two out" He said uncomfortably.
Claire looked up and smiled sadly at him "Thank you Sawyer" She nodded "But I know that's not why you came here… if you need a friend… all you have to do is ask"
Sawyer stood for a moment before answering "Thanks Blondie" He smiled back at her, before heading back to his tent, hopefully to get some sleep.
Its the first time Ive tried this ship, please review, Id love to know what you thought, where Im going right and wrong!
If you enjoyed this, and are a PB&J lover please check out my oneshot called Rest In Peace which is where Charlie comes back as a ghost after he dies to see Claire and Aaron get rescued, it didnt get many reviews :(