So, I got a really crappy compliment cup the other day. So, I was just wandering around, looking for inspiration, and I though - HEY! What if the Cahills wrote compliment cups to each other?!
So, I decided to put together this one-shot for you guys! It might make it a two or three shot if enough people like it. I hope you like it!
To Natalie
However annoying you are, however tiresome your squabbles with Daniel are, you are my only family. *sigh* I suppose I should put something sweet and reminiscent here, but I cannot think of anything good. Nothing comes to mind. I suppose that all the others will babble about how you were sweet and charitable and a joy to have at the breakfast table, but I can say none of those, since they are not true. However, I can say a few words about you. You are….inspiring. As soon as you have an idea, there is no reining you in. I hardly think that as complimentary, but there you have it. You are my sister. Stay away from Daniel.
Your Brother,
Ian
To Ian
Wow. I have no idea how to summarize how much of a pain in the butt you are in only a few sentences, but here it is: instead of preparing for Christmas, you drink tea with the Grinch and discuss world domination. Instead of hugging your sister goodnight, you pray that she will mysteriously disappear in her bed. (not that I don't) Instead of having fun on the first day of summer, you sit in your room and polish your "evil guy" badge or whatever they give out at the end of the year to the most evil classmate. Along with these compliments, I have some thoughtful advice for you as you journey into manhood: jump off a cliff and die. And have Nat take a video and post it on YouTube.
Your loving cousin,
Dan
To Sinead
You have no fashion sense. Every time I see you I cringe and take a step back because your hideousness is so revolting. Trying to save the planet from evil Vespers is no excuse to not brush your hair. I honestly have no idea how Hamilton finds any interest in you at all (and we all know he likes you) Some advice for the future: If you want Hamilton to like you, dress better. And wear MAKEUP! Makeup is the essential for a teenage girl! The other day I saw you wearing a purple shirt with a chocolate stain on it and frayed jean sorts, and I nearly died! Even Amy has enough sense to wear clean clothes that's colors complement her, and I'm sorry that I cannot say the same for you. First of all, don't even THINK about wearing purple with your red hair – it clashes horribly! And frayed jeans are completely unacceplatble! I'm about to run out of room on this cup, so I hope that you wear better clothes in the future!
You Disgusted Cousin,
Natalie
To Amy,
A Dawg! You so cool! Had so much fun saving the world with y'all! Lets do it again sometime! Hey – me, you, Sinead, and Ham can go down to Starbucks and talk about Doomsday! And then we can go to one of my concerts. Oh…wait. Sinead told Ham who told me that you think my singing is just a bunch of caterwauling. I have no idea what that means, but it has the word "cat" in it, and I'm allergic to cats, so NO COOL A Dawg! Not cool at all. Oh, hey, and P.S. Ham and I r totally shipping Amian!
From Your Fave Rapper,
Jonah
To Jonah,
I find your pitiful "rapping" intolerable, and I think you should quit your job and get a new one driving a UPS bus. The screeching is positively harmful to my eardrums, and I prefer to not listen to you whenever possible. I hate your singing, and my sister quite agrees with me. Some advice for the future: whenever your voice is feeling a little….scratchy, feel free to ask me for poison – I mean potion #45! It will make your voice as good as new! A little present for our nice rapper!
Your Loving and Charitable Cousin,
Ian
To Dan,
Ninjas suck. You are not a ninja anyway, but you wish you were, which makes you DOUBLY suck. A piece of advice: give up your foolish dream and die.
You Beautiful Cousin,
Natalie
I hope you enjoyed reading all the Cahills compliment cups! I might continue this is I get enough good ideas. PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!
~iheartamianplusnatan