I remember the times we spent together. You and I, together. It seemed
like forever when it was happening, but it all really went by in a
flash. I miss those moments. I miss you.
I remember when we first encountered eachother, when we first really
acknowledged eachother. It started with a fight. Remember? But look
where it got us now.
I got pissed when you kept staring at me. Really pissed. So I
confronted you. I insulted you, and you came back with some snarky
reply. I miss that about you.
I was the first one to throw a punch. It landed on your jaw. I still
remember the dark purple splotch it made. You hit me back, I hit you
on the opposite cheek, and you tackled me.
Eventually you got off of me after landing several blows to my face. I
could barely see anything. God, you really pack a punch. I vaguely
remember your hand in front of my face, and I took it without
hesitation. When my vision came back, you had this goofy smirk on your
face. Then you introduced yourself, claiming to be a star.
I told you to fuck off after mumbling my name.
Ever since that day, you would always come down to the football field
during practice. And after it was over, you'd wait outside the gym
until I was done getting changed. And you'd try and talk to me, get
all touchy-feely until I'd push you away and run off to the dorm. You
never quit though.
Remember when I finally agreed to go on a date with you? The look on
your face was priceless. You looked so excited. I could feel the
excitement radiating off of you. I guess excitement is contagious,
'cause I ended up catching it.
We went to the movie theatre. I was so scared we'd get caught by
someone from school. You kept telling me to calm down. And we were
almost in the doors, we were almost inside, and you were holding my
hand... I was holding yours... And he approached us. Hopkins...
I took off running like a little sissy, but you didn't let go of my
hand as you ran after me. I had made it three fourths of the way back
to the academy before I stopped to take a breather. You were angry at
me. You tried to keep from snapping at me, but you did anyways. You
stormed off when I couldn't come up with a reply.
I'm sorry.
I guess you needed a break from me, because I didn't see you as much
as I did. And I was starting to miss you. I knew that if I really
wanted to see you, I could just run on over to the parking lot and
drag you away to wherever I felt like going. But I didn't.
Eventually you came back to me and asked again. You wanted another
date even though I fucked up the last one. I didn't immediately say
yes, but I didn't immediately say no either. You seemed so bummed out.
But then I agreed again.
We went to the beach in Old Bullworth Vale. We were under the bridge,
hidden away in the darkness of the night. We were talking, huddled
next to eachother. Our legs were brushing, as well as our arms and
shoulders. We both turned to eachother and I saw a certain look in
your eye that made me lean forward with no second thought and connect
our lips. It sent a sudden spark through me that made my stomach flop
and my heart flutter like a butterfly. It seemed to soar like one too.
The look you gave me when I pulled away made me lean back in. I didn't
want to stop kissing you. I couldn't stop kissing you.
We had to go back to the warmth of our dorms, since it was nearing
winter and it was awful cold outside. I shyly took your hand in mine
when I made sure no one was around. I would have stayed with you in
your room if Davis wasn't your roommate.
Our secret relationship went on and on for a while. We met under the
bridge almost every evening. I had to go out and get a nice gift for
you all the time. "It can't be cheap". You bastard, leaving me out of
breath and almost empty-handed every time I got back to you. But you
didn't mind. You kissed me and made me feel better about it.
It was so fantastic, the time I had with you. You loved me. I loved
you. I know you did, you knew I did.
But it all had to end sometime, right?
Why did it have to be so soon?
Remember the Battle of Bullworth? Where every student and clique all
went up against one another and fought just because of some sociopath
with a need for power? God, that was possibly the worst experience I
had in my life.
So many people were rushed to the hospital... And you just had to be
one of them, didn't you?
I got away lucky with a black eye and some scars, possibly some broken
fingers and bloody knuckles. Tons if scrapes and bruises too.
But you... God, you were terrible. Broken bones, big gashes and
horrible, purple and blue bruises. You were knocked unconscious. You
were losing so much blood, they said you wouldn't make it.
But I believed in you. I knew you would make it. You're you. You
survive everything. You're... you're a star.
I stood by you whenever I could. I stood and watched you in your
unconscious state. You were always awake before I was there, but you'd
go back to sleep when I came.
But... But that one day... I visited you the third day and you were
awake. You were awake and you were so happy to see me, you opened a
cut on your cheek.
We talked. Well, I did a lot of the talking since it was a bad idea
for you. And you couldn't really anyways. I remember when you would
space out sometimes, like you had some moments where you would pass
out then snap out of it and enter reality again.
When I left, I asked if you'd come back. You said yes. You promised me
you'd come back and we can be together, forever.
You... you liar.
You lied to me.
I came in the next day.
You were gone.
You were dead.
You lost too much blood.
You... you left me.
I remember the way my heart stopped in my throat. I remember the
strangled noise I made. I remember warm liquid drizzling down my
cheeks and dripping on my clothes.
I was so upset. I missed you so much. I missed you...
I had nightmares about you, you know. Ones where you straight up left
me, ones where you took my cat, ones where you... You stabbed me.
Right here. Right in the chest.
I did have dreams, too. You got me another cat. We got married... We
had a beautiful little girl... Clementine...
I... I did what you always wanted me to do. I came out. I came out to
the Jocks. And they were so surprised. They didn't know what to say.
But it's okay. You always said that you didn't really get football.
You didn't care for it. It's not consuming all of my time anymore, so
I can spend it with you.
I love you, Trent. Come back, Trent, my love, please...