Author's Note: I do not own the rights to Harry Potter. This story is dedicated to my friend Jonathan, with whom the title is a bit of an inside joke.
New Tongue Smell
Prologue
Breakfast on the first day of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy was always exciting, but it was especially exciting, today. Dumbledore had announced the Triwizard Tournament at the welcoming feast the night before. Most students were excitedly writing home or discussing it with one another, but two sixth years were preoccupied with other matters. They approached the far end of the Gryffindor table whispering to one another and sat down away from everyone else.
Fred heaped a little of everything onto his plate, fried tomatoes, bacon, sausage patties, toast and marmalade, and a bowl of porridge with cream and treacle spooned and mixed in. "I'm just saying…"
"I'm just saying, it's your turn to try this one," George stated firmly. He was more selective in what he put on his plate: fried tomatoes, sausages, and toast with marmalade poured on top.
Fred took a bite of bacon and pointed the rest of the piece at George. "No way! That invisibility potion just wore off this morning," he said.
"Well, I just got over that fever those chews gave me. It lasted way longer than it was supposed to," George said, taking a bite of toast.
Fred laughed. "You should've seen the looks people were giving you, mate. You were a right sight: feverish and talking to the air. Everyone thought you were a loon." He laughed again.
"Well, Angelina thought you were off with some girl," George said, rolling his eyes and spearing a piece of fried tomato on his fork. He watched Fred closely, secretly hoping it might have been true. Maybe, just maybe, if Fred found someone else, Angelina would finally notice him. "I'm surprised she was talking to you at all. Where did you go last night? I spent quite a long time talking to your empty bed before I realized you weren't there at all."
Fred smirked and leaned back, tossing the rest of his bacon piece in his mouth. "Ah well, invisibility has its perks," he said, once he had finished chewing. He waggled his eyebrows at his brother. "Angelina and I made up- and out- last night… all night long."
George's eyebrows shot up and he put his forkful of tomato down, feigning shock but truthfully having lost his appetite a bit. "What? No. No way. You snuck into the girl's room? Without me? How? That anti-boy spell caught you this morning!"
"You fly up!" Fred said, too proud of his own ingenuity to notice George's discomfort. He smiled a smile that reached from ear to ear. "Angelina made sure the coast was clear then helped me fly up on her broom after the other girls were asleep." He cackled. "Luckily the invisibility spell didn't wear off until morning so when I left I just pretended I had been coming up to visit then." Fred leaned back with a smug smile on his face. "We have a date tonight. Which is why I can't be speaking gibberish all day."
"All day, it's only supposed to last an hour," George argued, his stomach tightening more. "Then again so were the fever chews." He looked at his food and realized he was done. He pushed the plate away and turned to his brother again. He paused to think. "But hey, it might be sexy. The girls love a man with an accent." Maybe Fred would even find someone else.
"Would be sexier if I could turn it on and off at will," Fred said. "We should look into that."
"Yes, yes," said George, distractedly. It was time to change the subject. "But first we need to make sure it works first and will incorporate all the languages we want. Then we can select different languages for different pills."
Fred leaned back and munched on his food thoughtfully. "You know what, George? I think it's time we got ourselves pets." He stared pointedly over George's shoulder.
George raised his eyebrows. They had never bothered with pets. Too much responsibility. He turned to follow his brother's line of sight. Ron, Harry, and Hermione were sitting further down the table eating. "Guinea pigs?" he asked.
"Precisely," Fred said.