Author's Note: In case you didn't already know this… when men eat a lot of pineapple, it's supposed to make their semen taste better. And who eats a ton of pineapple? Yes, that's right. BE WARNED, this story contains very explicit adult content. Not really any fluff in this one, just a whole lot of smut.
Juliet's good friend from college, Maggie, happened to currently be on a business trip to Santa Barbara, so she had called Juliet to meet for lunch and catch up. Juliet talked about her job at the police department, and Maggie talked about her work at an engineering firm. They talked about their dating lives, although neither had much to say on that subject. They reminisced about their college days at the University of Miami. It felt nice just to talk to an old friend like this. After she transferred to Santa Barbara from Miami, Juliet had really only met new people through her job. It was relaxing to talk to someone who didn't have something to do with a current case that needed solving.
A rather attractive man was sitting at a table near them, reading the local newspaper. The waitress came by and asked him what he'd like to order. The two women overheard him order a large glass of pineapple juice, the club sandwich, and a slice of pineapple upside-down cake for dessert.
"Ooh, that guy must have an exciting night planned," said Maggie, giggling a bit.
Juliet didn't understand. "What? How do you know that?" she asked.
"Well, you know what they say about pineapple," Maggie replied, a sly grin on her face. She hadn't talked about things like this since college, but since she was speaking to a great friend of hers from college, why not?
Juliet still didn't get it, but she couldn't help but think of a certain psychic detective when her friend mentioned the fruit. "No, I don't know… what do they say?" she inquired.
"You've never heard that?" Maggie retorted, shocked. "That's weird. Anyway, pineapple is supposed to make a guy's… you know…" – the next part would be in a hushed whisper, sprinkled with repressed laughter – "semen… taste good."
"Really? Wow, I'm surprised I've never heard that before," said Juliet, smiling. And then Maggie changed the subject and they talked about the airline service she'd used to get to California. During the rest of lunch, however, Juliet found her mind occasionally occupied by thoughts of just how often Shawn Spencer ate pineapple.
Juliet had taken the entire afternoon off to have lunch with Maggie and then to just go home for some much-needed down time. She arrived at her apartment, and found herself immediately turning on her computer and opening Google. She searched the pineapple rumor, and found it to be widely accepted as true. 'I might have to test this theory for myself someday,' she thought, as some very impure images of Shawn entered her mind. She shook out of her reverie when she heard a knock on the door.
The only fruit in Shawn's awful diet of processed food and other garbage was pineapple. He loved it. Not just because of its delicious flavor, of course. There were supposedly benefits (in the bedroom) to consuming the golden treat. He couldn't really confirm them as true, though. He'd only ever received one blowjob in his life – he usually skipped foreplay and got straight to where he wanted to be – and that was before he discovered his fancy of the special fruit.
He always talked about pineapple, even when he wasn't meaning to flirt (which was rare), hoping that somehow she might catch on. Maybe she'd never heard the old adage before. All Shawn could do was wish that someday he and Juliet could test it out for themselves.
Today, Shawn had dropped by the station looking for Juliet, maybe hoping to convince her to grab lunch with him. Buzz had informed him of Juliet's whereabouts, so that nixed the lunch idea. Shawn found out that Juliet had taken the rest of the day off as well, so he planned to drop by her apartment after a few hours, to give her time to finish having lunch with her old friend. When he parked his bike in the lot of her apartment complex, he saw her car, so he knew she was home. He climbed the stairs to her floor, found the right door, and knocked.
Juliet looked through the peephole, and blushed at the sight of Shawn, whom she had just slightly fantasized about just moments before. She was relieved that she'd closed that internet page. She took a deep breath to collect herself before opening the door.
"Hey, Shawn," she greeted him, "This is a surprise. What's up?"
"Oh, Jules," he said, smiling, "Must there always be something 'up' for me to visit you?"
"Well, no… but… how did you know I was here?" she asked, puzzled.
He could have spewed some lie about psychically divining her whereabouts, but he decided against it. "Buzz told me earlier while I was at the station."
"Why were you at the station? I didn't think we had any cases that you were working on." Juliet asked. She opened the door wider, beckoning Shawn into her apartment as he answered the question.
"There aren't any. Looks like the streets of Santa Barbara are peaceful for the time being. Anyway, I dropped by the station to see you, but Buzz said you were out with your friend. I decided to stop by here instead, after grabbing lunch and a pineapple smoothie, of course," Shawn replied. He saw Juliet's eyes widen at that last part. Juliet thought, 'Oh my goodness, he knows! He knows I was thinking about pineapple and… that stuff!' Small waves of panic washed through her. 'Wait, no, relax. He always talks about pineapple, it's his favorite. This is just a coincidence,' she thought, mostly to calm herself down.
"Well, that was nice of you, Shawn," she said, trying to prevent her voice from wavering.
"Do you know what would really be nice?" asked Shawn, grinning as usual. 'Aside from the dirty fantasies that play in my head every time I think of you?' he thought to himself,
Juliet thought for a second. Yeah, she knew what would be nice. Stroking Shawn's warm body and feeling him inside of her and tasting his pineapple-perfected bodily juices.
"Earth to Jules!" she heard Shawn say, and she crashed back into reality.
"Sorry," she said, blushing. "What were you saying?"
"I was saying that a great big bowl of popcorn and a classic movie would be a nice way to relax, since you took the day off and Psych isn't being hired for anything," he replied.
Juliet couldn't help but agree. He was so cute when he smiled like that. "Okay, I'll go make the popcorn, you pick a movie. All of my DVDs are on the shelf over there," she said, pointing toward a shelf near the TV. She went into the kitchen, fixing her hair and readjusting her blouse while the bag began to pop in the microwave. She carried the steaming bowl out to the living room to find Shawn already sprawled lazily on the couch, remote control in hand, waiting to play Revenge of the Nerds.
Shawn looked up when she walked in the room. She frowned at him. "What?" he asked innocently.
"Where am I supposed to sit?" Juliet asked. It was true; Shawn was taking up the whole couch.
"My apologies, ma'am," he said mockingly as he changed position. He lay in such a position that the only way Juliet would be able to sit on the couch was if she was leaning against him. Not that she minded. She took her spot next to him, and they both dived into the bowl of popcorn as Shawn started the movie.
Juliet couldn't focus on the television. All she could think about was the man she was leaning up against, and how he ate tons of pineapple, and how all she wanted to do was be closer to him.
It was almost as if he could read her mind. At that very moment, Shawn paused the movie. She looked at him, puzzled. "What? A bathroom break already?" she asked playfully. He smiled and shook his head. Because of their positions on the couch, his face was incredibly close to hers, considering that they were coworkers, but neither of the two seemed to care too much about that. For a brief moment, Shawn just looked into her eyes. But, a brief moment was all he could handle. He needed more.
He closed the small gap between them and pushed his lips into hers. She didn't protest. They had waited too long. Juliet returned Shawn's kiss with enthusiasm. She shifted to face him more, and he felt their bodies melt together. A fire that Shawn was unfamiliar with was building in the pit of his abdomen. He didn't know it, but Juliet was getting that same feeling as her lips danced with his.
He slowly extended his tongue into her mouth, and she responded by fervently intensifying the kiss. Her hands explored everything they could reach. His did the same. Luckily for them both, Juliet's couch was rather wide. Shawn repositioned himself so that he was hovering above Juliet, never once breaking their passionate kiss. He let one of his hands slowly stroke its way closer and closer to her breasts. He nibbled on her lower lip, eliciting a pleasured moan from her. Shawn took that as a sign to continue what he was doing with his hand, and he gently grasped one of Juliet's breasts and began to massage it ever so lightly. This movement caused more soft moans to escape from her lips, and she had no intention of trying to stop them.
Shawn continued to caress her, and she dragged her fingernails down his strong back. He removed his hand from her breast, and thanked whatever gods had made Juliet wear a skirt that day as he slid his hand down her thigh. When he slid his hand back up that silky and slender thigh, he let it go up under her skirt, drawing her knee into a bend and her leg to move closer to him.
Amid several small gasps and moans, they continued to wage the war between their mouths. Shawn let his hips press into hers, so that she could feel what she had done to a certain part of his anatomy. This drew a shamelessly eager (and rather loud) moan of pleasure from Juliet. His strong hands stroked the expanses of her body, and she reciprocated for him.
She reached down and began to lift off his shirt, and he complied, breaking the kiss just long enough to help her get it over his head and to remove her top as well. She pulled him down on top of her, kissing him deeply again, letting the warmth from his body surround her.
Shawn let his hand return to its place under Juliet's skirt, and this time, he found a tiny thong and pulled it off. He used his thumb and forefinger to stroke her wet folds, which became even wetter at his touch. Her hips rocked into his hand, encouraging him to continue.
He stopped his actions for a moment and murmured, "Jules, I don't have a condom."
She thought for a split second, and replied with jagged breath, "I don't care, you can pull out and I'll finish you off with my mouth. Just please, don't stop."
And with those words, Shawn went back to fingering her, while undoing his pants with the other hand. Juliet removed her bra and helped Shawn get out of his pants. It wasn't an easy task, focusing on something like that while Shawn's fingers were sliding all over her most erogenous zone.
She decided to get some payback, so she tugged down Shawn's boxers and grasped his rock solid member with both hands and started to pump back and forth. He groaned into her mouth, but he didn't stop kissing her or exploring her center with his fingers. That fiery feeling in her abdomen was burning like crazy right now; she felt her release coming soon. He stroked her clitoris and pleasured her more. Between gasps and moans, she whispered his name as she skyrocketed into an orgasm. He felt her warm center pulsing around his fingers. He took no time to let her rest when he lifted her skirt completely. His boxers were still around his knees, and her skirt stayed on her waist. They didn't have the patience to stop for that now. He pushed his hard and ready cock into her still pulsing vagina and began to thrust. He filled her up just right.
"Oh, Shawn!" Juliet moaned with pleasure when he entered her. She still hadn't come down from her earth-shattering orgasm when he had begun to hit her deepest walls again and again. He pumped in and out of her, fast and hard, yet steady and with precision. Shawn massaged her breasts some more as he continued to thrust deeply into her. He felt the fire in his groin build steadily, and he didn't want to stop. But he had to, and soon. He knew he was approaching his climax, but he wanted to hear Juliet come again. He continued to thrust, holding himself back. He used one hand to stroke her clitoris while his dick pleasured her deepest points of pleasure. He sucked on a soft spot on her neck. He could tell she was getting close, her breathing became even more jagged and her moans grew louder. Suddenly, Juliet burst into her second orgasm, this one even greater than the first. Shawn pulled out, because he knew her pulsating walls would send him over the edge if he didn't. He took her mouth into another kiss, quieting her moans until her body stopped shaking and she could breathe again.
She wanted to keep good on her word. She pushed Shawn into a sitting position, and she got on the floor on her knees between his legs. His member was still rock solid, waiting.
She had never given anyone a blowjob before… the idea of it had always grossed her out. However, with the recent revelation about pineapple's magical powers, she was excited to give it a try, especially with Shawn. She slowly took him into her mouth, using her hands where her mouth couldn't reach and to gently caress his testicles. Shawn closed his eyes and lolled his head back when he felt her surround him with her lips and tongue. She swirled around his sensitive tip, and pumped with her gentle hands.
"Juliet," he moaned quietly as she quickened her rhythm. Now it was Shawn's turn to breathe jaggedly, feeling his release build. His hips began to involuntarily move with her rhythm as he grew nearer to his peak. Suddenly, a warm burst of fluid filled Juliet's mouth as Shawn let out a load groan, his muscles tightening all over. He gasped for air as he came down from his high. Juliet swallowed. Damn, she thought, that pineapple theory was dead right! Shawn lay back down on the couch, and Juliet returned to her former position, leaning up against him. They fell asleep right there.