Konata had just gotten back from an exhausting day at school. Sweet Jesus, what a waste of time it was for her. After all, she slacked off every day while fantasizing about her best friend, Kagami. Konata had hidden feelings for Kagami, which had built up due to teenage angst and the fact that she was the Japanese equivilant of a neckbeard, unable to communicate to anyone outside of her house with the exception of a few select people. Kagami was one of these people, and she valued Kagami deeply for this. She also loved her, because she was quite inept when it came to emotions and was unable to realize that she'd be going to hell with all the queers and queer enablers for loving Kagami.

After she got home and finished wetting her whistle, she decided to call Kagami, still exhausted from the pleasures of wetting one's whistle.

"Hey Kagamin~" Konata whispered seductively over the phone.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what? W-w-what are you t-t-t-t-trying to s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-start?" Kagami stuttered out.

Kagami had an adorable vocal tic, characteristic of Tourettes Syndrome. She was prescribed the typical antipsychotic, Haldol, to try and control it, but no use. Thankfully, it was mostly harmless, with little outburts. Only a lot of stuttering, which Konata found adorable, misinterpreting the vocal tic (she is socially retarded) as Kagami being flustered.

"Oh, you know, I just finished wetting my whistle~" Konata replied.

"K-K-K-K-K-K-K-KONATA! S-T-TOP!" Kagami exclaimed, not willing to tolerate Konata's neckbeard bullshit.

The phone call ended shortly after, a depressed Konata left to her own devices. She walked out of her room, past her collection of fedoras and video game shirts, grabbed a knife, and started cutting. Kagami hated her. It was all her fault. She didn't deserve to live. Luckily, her father came in just as she was about to make the final cut and, like the man he was, flipped her skirt, whistling as he walked past, smacking Konata on her ass as he walked past. "Damn girl, that ass is lookin fineeeeeeeeeeee~" Sojiro said.

Konata became instantly aroused at the thought of having her pussy pummeled by her dad and decided to go fuck herself again.