The sequel to:
HOUSE OF HADES FUN-SHOTS 2: PHOBIA TALK!
s/9466509/1/House-of-Hades-Fun-Shots-2-Phobia-Talk
AN: OH, AND I FORGOT MY BORING DISCLAIMERS! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT IS RELATED TO PERCY JACKSON, THOSE ALL GO TO THE ONLY AND HILARIOUS RICK RIORDAN.
AND I DO NOT OWN THE VIDEOS MENTIONED BUT I DO LOVE THEM! AND PLEASE ENJOY THEM AS WELL AND WATCH THEM ON YOUTUBE!
HOUSE OF HADES FUN-SHOTS # 3: LEO'S FAVORITE DEPRESSINGLY FUNNY VIDEOS
Leo had several different bloods, he was 37 % Hephaestus Blood, 37 % Latino-American Blood and 26 % Hermes Blood. Why Hermes? Because that was just the reason he was always so hyper and so jokester like.
And he was good at stealing.
Right now, he didn't regret stealing Malcolm's internet sticky thingy because he had now finished watching his favorite two videos which he thought were extremely depressing but funny.
Everybody stormed down.
"Why are you laughing?" asked Nico.
"What are you laughing at?" asked Hazel.
"One of the reasons must be because you just burned something or wrecked something," said Piper.
"Or perhaps you aimed a missile in the wrong way," said Frank through gritted teeth.
"HEY! I'm not always a wreckaholic!" argued Leo. "And NO FRANK, I didn't aim a ballista in the wrong way. I was just laughing at the most hilarious videos ever!"
"Well then, show us," said Frank grabbing a stool and sitting next to Leo awkwardly. "If they are so funny...you laugh at everything anyways."
"Don't worry Chinese-Canadian baby man," said Leo, it was his new nickname for Frank. Okay, ONE of the nicknames. "NOBODY can resist without laughing at these videos."
"How are you so sure?" asked Jason and Nico 'oohheed.'
"OOOOHHH! The praetor comes in the game, Sergeant Serious as some of the Romans called him," said Nico and Jason shrugged.
"It's true, there's barely been things that could make me laugh most of the time," said Jason. "Once, I went two weeks without laughing or smiling."
"Wanna bet?" asked Leo. "Fifty drachmas."
"Er...how many drachmas is a denari?" asked Jason.
"WHOA!" said Piper. "First of all, how are you so sure that you're going to win Jason? Not like I don't have faith on you but still. And LEO, where are you going to get the money if you lose? IF?"
"Pipes, CALM DOWN," said Leo. "I am the ultimate McShizzle! I'm THE LEO VALDEZ! I'm obviously going to win! And if I don't, I'll just rob some money from the Stolls, they've got thousands because they stole from the rest of the campers."
As an instinct, everybody put a hand into their pocket, to see if their things were there and fortunately, they were.
"Pipes," said Jason. "I'm sure I'll be fine, I've had several years of experience. Leo won't stand a chance."
"EXCUSE ME?" said Leo. "I AM OFF-!"
"Just start the videos would you?" asked Hazel. "Let me settle this, if Jason loses, he gives Leo 50 denarii. If Leo loses, he gives Jason 50..."
"Drachmas," said Nico.
"Exactly, how many videos are there?"
"Two," said Leo going into Youtube and typing these words: DUMB WAYS TO DIE
"Let's re-check the rules," said Piper. "If Jason laughs or smiles while watching any of the videos or afterwards, then he loses. If Jason doesn't, Leo loses."
"Right," the contestants said.
"But I can talk, can I?" asked Jason and Piper nodded.
"As long as you're not smiling why you're doing it."
"Hey Haze, do you want to bet?" asked Frank at Hazel as Leo scrolled down and smiled at a video with funny characters.
"What is it with men that they like betting?" sighed Hazel. "FINE, go on Frank, what are you betting on?"
"10 denarii, who wins...Leo or Jason? I'm going with Jason, I heard from Dakota that he was real creepy those 2 weeks," said Frank.
"WHAT?" asked Leo. "I'm extremely offended Frank the Human Coy! I thought we were best buds! You've got to bet with Daddy-o!"
"Best buds? My butt," muttered Frank silently, then he said to Leo. "Look Shrimpzilla, just go on with your videos."
Leo scowled at Frank while he turned to Hazel and asked, "So...who are you betting with Hazel?"
"I'm going with Leo."
"WHAT?"
"Thank you Hazel," grinned Leo smugly. "At least somebody is with me unlike Mr. Iguana here."
Frank glared at Leo and then turned to Hazel, "Are you Roman?"
"No, but Leo is pretty much a maniac, who knows what he's watching these days," said Hazel and it was Frank's turn to act smug while Leo said:
"WHAT?"
"A hilarious maniac," corrected Hazel. "Plus, mortals are crazy. I'm on with you Frank, let's see who wins, and no arguing Frank."
"Okay," said Frank sweetly.
"Right, we're starting in 3...2...1."
There was a bright sun and a flower in the start and then a blue guy started running off a trail with his head on fire and the music had begun.
Set fire to your hair
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Eat medicines that's out of date
Use your private parts as piranha bait
"You don't have to die if you set fire you hair," said Leo. "I tried once, but I didn't die! Or else I wouldn't be showing you this."
"Leo," said Piper, "YOU'RE A FIRE USER! You're fire-proof basically! That's why you didn't die!"
"Oh," said Leo. "That's right...but Frank wouldn't die either, right?"
"Don't be dumb Leo. THE POINT IS," said Hazel. "That any normal person would die."
"But this IS DUMB," said Nico. "Why would anybody poke a stick at a grizzly bear? Unless you're a son of Th-!"
He closed his mouth and Frank asked, "What were you going to say?"
"Never mind," said Nico. "But who would use their bloody arse as a piranha bait? Nobody will go CLOSE to a lake full of piranhas."
"NICO!" said Hazel.
"That's true," said Piper. "Go on Leo."
Jason was as hard as stone, not moving and he looked at the screen warily. Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die
"This is so depressing," said Frank. "But it's starting to be sort of funny..."
"SO HAPPY TO DIE! SO HAPPY TO DIE!" said Leo dancing. Jason frowned because Leo's dancing style was both terrible and hilarious.
Everybody laughed and Piper said, "But they DO look pretty happy..."
Get your toast out with a fork
Do your own electrical work
Teach yourself how to fly
Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie
Everybody grinned and started chuckling, except Jason who was still frowning.
"EW! THE PIE DUDE IS SO GROSS!" said Hazel. "He's all green with all those pieces and stuff and...ugh."
"AGREE-EED!" said Piper.
"Some people are actually good mechanics," grinned Leo, "like MOI! They don't neccessarily turn their houses on fire."
"NORMAL PEOPLE DO," said Frank and then winced at the memory of his grandmother's house burning down. "But seriously, teach yourself how to fly...you don't neccessarily get sliced up like that. It reminds me of a pineapple."
Everybody chuckled, except Jason of course. Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die Invite a psycho-killer inside
Scratch your drug dealer's brand new ride
Take your helmet off in outer space
Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place
Everybody except Jason of course who was slightly biting his lip was laughing out.
"OKAY," said Nico wiping a tear, "that is RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY!"
"Invite a psycho killer!" boomed Frank. "WOW."
"Scratch your drug dealer's brand new ride?" said Piper. "But wait-YOUR DRUG DEALER? So this is a drug comercial?"
"Nope, but you'll see," said Leo smiling.
"Use your dryer as a hiding place?" said Hazel. "Well, I was reading in this book...called the Mortal Instruments, there's this girl named Clary who wanted to go in today's (what do you call it?) washing machines because she wanted to go round and round when she was little."
"She's stupid," said Nico and Hazel slapped him.
"NICO!" Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die
Keep a rattlesnake as pet
Sell both the kidneys on the internet
Eat a tube of superglue
"I wonder what's this red button do?"
"Okay, somebody who keeps a rattlesnake is PSYCHO," said Hazel.
"MONEY BABY! Did you see that guy with the kidneys?" said Leo. "MU-NNY!"
"Yeah, but it isn't worth much when you can't pee anymore," snapped Piper.
"Touché," replied Leo.
"Eat a tube of super glue," said Nico. "The guy is just frozen there and the tube falls out...HILARIOUS!"
Frank made a goof face and said, " 'I wonder what's this red button do?' BAM!"
Everybody laughed and Leo said, "Was that hard to act out Ig?"
Frank glared at him. Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die Dress up like a moose during hunting season
"Aww...okay, that's kinda sad," said Piper.
"And stupid," said Nico earning a slap from Piper.
"You say that a lot you know man," said Leo.
"I know, it should be my catch phrase!" exclaimed Nico and high-fived Leo, while Hazel snorted and rolled her eyes.
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
Stand on the edge of a train station platform
Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing
Run across the tracks between the platforms
They may not rhyme but they're quite possibly
Everybody was massaging their stomaches because they hurt from laughing, they could tell Jason was trying HARD not to smile, much more, laugh.
"That's true," said Nico.
"A nest of wasps..." said Leo. "THE HUNGER GAMES!"
"What?" asked Frank. "What the heck are the Hunger Games?"
"Never mind dude," said Leo. "Go on." Dumbest ways to die ie Be safe around trains. A message from the Metro."
Dumbest ways to die
Dumbest ways to die
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to die
"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHAT?" said Frank.
"Return it! RETURN IT!" said Nico.
" 'Be safe around trains?!' How can you even use these WORDS to summarize what we just watched?" said Piper, her jaw dropped.
"This was so depressing,"said Nico. "But funny."
Everybody agreed.
Jason eyes widened, that was totally unexpected.
"I have to admit, THAT was unexpected," said Hazel.
They still hadn't recovered from their shocks when Leo grinned at them, typing some other words, and said:
"Oh, if you LAUGHED at this you'll be ON THE FLOOR with this video. It's the MOST HILARIOUS thing EVER. And Jason, don't worry...I'm afraid you won't last long."
L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L- J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J-L-J- L-J-L-J-
He wouldn't last long? Leo didn't know who he was playing with, Jason thought as the video was loading. Mortals WERE CRAZY though and there was a chance...
But still, Jason lasted 2 weeks without laughing or smiling even with the little kids' pranks and everybody's jokes between training. He had been as cold as ice and even Reyna had shuddered. It was REYNA for god's sake!
The title of this video? AFTER EVER AFTER. (AN: LOVE THIS VID! PLEASE WATCH! HILARIOUS!)
Four men which were the same one stood with different shirts and backgrounds, Leo told Hazel they were special effects and then they started singing.
If you've ever wondered why
Disney's tales all end in lies
Here's what happened after all their dreams came true
"I have the nasty feeling that all my childhood is going down the drain," said Frank.Then the second right box with the man became bigger and the guy with the green shirt and green background held a piece of paper saying: ARIEL.
I loved being princess down in - this beautiful ocean blue
But mermaids are going missing - they end up in someone's stew
"Oh my gosh," said Piper laughing like everybody else, and this was only the beginning of the song! "Thank god Percy is not here watching this."
As sorry as they felt for Percy, they laughed.
So just try to put yourself in - to somebody else's gills
You're killing my ecosystem - with fishing and oil spills
Thank you BP, thank you BP
The British are killing, oil is spilling
Now I can't see... MY EYES!
"What's BP?" asked Nico.
"It's for British Petroleum or some other British oil company," explained Piper.
"Wow, this is actually really creative," said Hazel half-laughing and half-groaning.
Jason smirked but did not smile...
Chinamen feast on Flounder's fins
"Poor FLOUNDER!" said Frank.
"Well, at least they didn't feast on...COY," smiled Leo and Frank glared at him, remembering his time at Atlanta in the aquarium with "Kate" and "Porky."
"Shut up."
"But wait...you are Chinese, at least a bit Chinese, aren't you?"
"I said, SHUT UP LATINO ELF!"
Everybody laughed while Leo glared at Frank.
Plus the Japanese killed all my whale friends
Oceans are browning, I think I'm drowning
Thanks to BP
YOU SUCK!
"They actually do," said Piper while everybody laughed at the video.
Then another guy got a paper saying: JASMINE. Hey, I'm OK, but I'm slightly scared
My husband's a mark for the War on Terror
Aladdin was taken by the CIA
"ALADDIN was taken from the CIA?" Nico said and everybody laughed, this was going to be hilarious.
We're not Taliban
You've got the wrong man
In Guantanamo Bay
Prince Ali, where could he be, drowning in wawa
Interrogation from the nation of the "free"
The Taliban? Wawa? Nation of the "free.?" Nobody could say anything, they were laughing too hard to be able to utter a single word. Aladdin in GUANTANAMO BAY? He was a good guy! Or at least that's what they thought...
Bin Laden's taken the fall
We're not trained pilots at all
Jafar went crazy and no one put up a fuss
We're for freedom, Genie can vouch for us
Bush was crazy, Obama's lazy, al-Qaeda's not in this country
Set free my Prince Ali
Jason couldn't anymore. He started laughing hysterically while he handed his 50 denarii to Leo who was grinning smugly.
"C'mon MONEY! COME TO DADDY-O!"
But they didn't judge Jason, this was HILARIOUS.
" 'Bush was crazy, Obama's lazy, al-Qaeda's not in this country!' Those are my favorite sentences!" said Nico crying.A guy held a paper that said: BELLE.
A whore! A whore!
A whore, a whore, a whore!
"WHAT?" said Nico.
This town's gone wild since I married Adam
They think I'm going straight to hell
But the charges laid on me
Of bestiality
"OH MY GOSH," said Leo and everybody started laughing. BEASTIALITY?
"But poor Belle," said Piper.
Could wind up getting me thrown in a cell
No, I'm overrun by mad men
I hear they plan to burn me at the stake
They legit believe I'm Satan
"Aww...this IS SAD," said Hazel. "I mean Satan? That's just a great insult."
"Er...Hazel? You know, dad is sort of like Satan..."
"NICO! As much as I don't like Pluto, he and Satan are COMPLETELY different. I can give you a lesson if you-"
"Hazel," said Frank. "Calm down, you can explain it to him later, first watch, then talk."
"Right, that," said Leo counting his new money from Jason while smirking.
And now I hear that PETA's gonna take my beast away
"Oh my gosh, PETA, NOT PETA!" said Piper and they all laughed. Why would PETA get Beast/ Adam away? Not like he did anything wrong...
"PEETA MELLARK THE BOY WITH THE BREAD!" said Leo jumping and making a 3-finger sign with his left hand.
"WHO SAID MY NAME?" a blonde boy with a cleft chin and blue eyes who looked incredibly like Jason popped out from nowhere and looked around.
"Er...sorry dude," said Frank pushing him back into a black hole. "WRONG story!"
"Leo, I don't know who this Peeta guy is," said Hazel. "But it's not that. It's PETA. P-E-T-A. Stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals."
"Hazel, stop being like that, you remind me of ANNABETH!" said Leo.
"Whatever...GO ON!" said Piper. "What's next?"
"It's dedicated for you Cherokee Girl!" winked Leo at her while he waved at Peeta.
Piper snorted and they saw the last dude hold a sign saying: POCAHONTAS.
After John Smith traveled back to England
I helped my people cultivate the fields
"That's not so bad," said Piper.
"Go on," said Leo.
More English, French, and Spaniards came to visit
And they greeted us with guns and germs and steel
"This is really realistic," admired Hazel.
"And funny," said Nico.
"YAY! It's the first time you didn't say 'stupid' in the sentence!" exclaimed Hazel sarcastically.
Nico glared at Hazel.
They forced us into unknown lands of exile
They pillaged, raped, and left us all for dead
"That's true, although the real Pocohontas actually went and married a Brit," said Piper.
"PIPER, STOP COPYING ANNABETH! Seriously, Annabeth is the brain, we don't need another brainiac here," said Leo.
"All right, geez...Annabeth couldn't teach me a few things?" asked Piper.
"I have a bad feeling something funny is coming up," said Frank.
So now I'm far more liberal with a weapon
When I separate their bodies from their heads
"See? Violent...just like Beauty Queen here!" said Leo.
In a matter of seconds, he was being chased by Piper who held Frank's new baseball bat and they were running around the living room.
Nico shrugged and the video continued.
Have you ever held the entrails of an English guy?
"Er...no, and I prefer not to," said Frank while everybody laughed.
Or bit the beating hearts of Spanish men?
"Ew?" said Hazel while the chuckling continued.
"Do you think they taste good?" asked Nico.
Hazel slappéd him, "NICO!"
Can you shoot an arrow in some French guy's eyeball?
Can you paint with the red colors in these men
"I was actually sort of close in shooting an arrow in a French guy's eyeball," said Frank. "You see, this guy-"
"BLA, BLA, BLA," said Leo sitting down sweating along with a red-looking Piper. "Frank Zhang tells his long boring story, BLA, BLA, BLA. Get over with it!"
"At least I tell better stories than you," muttered Frank.
I can murder if I please
Cause I'm dying of disease
I can paint with the red colors in these men
"The rhythm is actually really good," admired Hazel.
Now, the 4 guys which were actually the same one each said a different phrase:
Thanks to BP
Where's Prince Ali?
Bestiality
I've got STDs!"
It suddenly stopped and all of their faces were baby-sad. Everybody was laughing at the end and remembering the start of this videos.
"I loved these two videos!" said Piper. "I might even share it on Facebook if I have time..."
"BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE ON FACEBOOK!" argued Jason. "In fact, right now we should be looking out for monsters that can stop us in our journey to Epirus! We aren't that far away now..."
"Admit it Sparky-o," said Leo putting his arm around Jason, "you LOVED those videos and I know that inside that Sergeant Serious is a jokester!"
"I liked them but-"
"HA! SEE, I AM THE PRO! I AM THE PRO! I AM THE PRO!" said Leo dancing and showing off his butt while everybody laughed and Jason just sighed. A bit of fun wouldn't do too bad, I mean...that would have been what Percy would have done, right?
Hazel turned to Frank, "Frank?"
"Yes Julie?"
"What?"
"Julie because Jewels, because you can summon jewels and Julie is a nickname for that," explained Frank.
"HA! I make better nicknames than you Baby Man! People understand them," said Leo.
Frank growled at Leo who hid behind Jason and Hazel said, "Don't call me that Frank, okay? I like Haze good enough."
"Okay," said Frank shrugging. The truth was that he liked Haze better too.
"And Frank?"
"Yes?"
"Can you give me my 10 denarii?"