Sorry to bother you with this subject again, but I needed to write a bit of fluff because this new season is way too depressing and has way too much Hannah, in my opinion. And well, if you don't like baby stories, just don't read it, right? ;)
You probably know by now how much I love writing Booth and Brennan with a kid. I know, you're probably sick of it by now but I can't help it. Every time I watch The Critic in the Cabernet I ask myself what could have happened if Brennan really had gotten pregnant with Booth's stuff. And oddly enough, every time a new idea comes to my head. You may have read my other story, As Long as You're Mine, where she gets pregnant while Booth is in a coma, but she tells him about the pregnancy and they go through it together.
In this one- shot, the coma never happened and she got pregnant by her rules, meaning she wanted to have the baby by herself, without Booth's influence in its life.
But, of course, you know me and you know things will not end exactly like that…
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"How is she?" He blurted out as soon as he saw Angela and Hodgins leaving the elevator at the first floor at the hospital. He couldn't believe the baby decided to come a week earlier and exactly on the weekend he was at New York on a training field for the FBI. He drove back to Washington as soon as he got the call from Cam and had only stopped at his apartment to take a quick shower before going to the hospital, but it didn't matter, because when he arrived, she'd already given birth. And he hated himself for that.
Even though he was supposed to not care about that baby.
She told him he wouldn't be involved with the child and he'd agreed with that.
"Chillax, G-man. She is fine. They are fine. Your daughter is a very beautiful and healthy little thing." Angela smiled delighted. She'd been with Brennan the whole time since the contractions start, and now she just had left her and the baby to grab some dinner. She was already in love with her goddaughter.
"7.5 pounds and twenty inches." Hodgins announced with a grin.
"No… Bones don't want me to get involved with the baby… She's not my-" His face lightened up suddenly when the news hit him and he opened a smile, starting to tear up. "It's a girl?"
Brennan wanted to find out the sex, but seemed like the baby didn't want her to have that information yet, because it would have its legs crossed in every sonogram, which bothered Brennan a little and which bothered Angela a lot. In her words, it was very boring buying unisex clothes.
"Yeah, big guy, it's a pretty little girl." Angela hugged him tightly. "Congratulations."
"Ange-" He mumbled. He didn't want her to make things more difficult than they already were. Brennan made it clear since the beginning that she wanted to have that baby alone and that he wouldn't have anything to do with it. He had accepted her decision, he decided to give her the sperm donation anyway. It would hurt not being able to be a real father to their kid, but seeing her giving birth to another man's baby would have been much worse.
"She's on room 503. They were just going to bring the baby for her to breastfeed." Angela explained. "You arrived just in time, Cam and Sweets had to leave an hour ago and I'm going to grab some dinner with Hodgins. She says she's fine but you know… no one likes being alone at the hospital."
"I don't think she'd appreciated if I interrupted…" Booth said unsure. He wanted so damned much to be there with Brennan and the baby, but it would kill him if she asked him to leave or something.
"Go, Booth." Angela smiled, almost feeling pitiful for the man. She couldn't really understand his relationship with her best friend. It was clear for whoever wanted to see that the two of them were completely in love, so, it didn't make any sense to keep denying the obvious. And now they had a baby together, for heaven's sake. It was about time to make things work between them.
"What if-?" He swallowed, not really daring to ask what he would do if she didn't want him there.
He stopped talking when he realized he was being pushed towards the elevator by the other woman. Angela pressed the '5' on the control of the elevator and gave him a one arm hug before whispering in his ear: "She was asking for you when she entered that OR. Don't be afraid, Booth." She kissed his cheek. "Now go get your girls." She stepped back and gave him a last encouragingly smile. "And congratulations again."
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Booth was thankful to see there was a glass window at Brennan's room. Not that he didn't want to enter, he was dying of curiosity to meet their baby, but he was glad he was able to witness the scene happening right at that moment and didn't want to interrupt it.
Brennan was sitting on the hospital bed, looking completely in delight with the baby in her arms. It warmed his heart to see how mommy-like she looked. Her hair was tied in a low ponytail and her bangs were brushed to the side of her forehead. Her cheeks were flushed and even though she looked a bit tired, he'd never seen her looking so happy. He couldn't see the baby's face from the place he was standing, but he could see that she was stroking tenderly the little girl's cheek, like the kid was the most precious thing in the world.
Which, he was sure about it now, she was.
He felt his heart tightening. He was the first one to learn about her pregnancy, three weeks after she made the fertilization. She was so happy with the result that she told him right after she saw the positive sign in her pregnancy test. He felt delighted too, he wanted to hug her, and kiss her, and spin her around, but unlike her, he couldn't demonstrate his feelings. He didn't want to jeopardize their relationship breaking his promise of not getting involved.
Not getting involved didn't work out at the end, after all. He pretended not to care, but he was with Brennan daily, and for the most part of the days. They had lunch and dinner together almost every single day, including weekends. The first time the baby kicked they were in the middle of the interrogation room, and he remembered like it was yesterday.
"Oh" Brennan said surprised.
"You're okay, Bones?" He asked immediately worried.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She grinned and placed her hand on her growing belly. "I- I need you to come here." She stood up without any other word and left the room.
And then, after he threatened the suspect telling him not to move his butt while they were gone if he didn't want to spend a nice night in jail, he left the room following his partner. As soon as the door closed, she took his hand and put it on her stomach. He gasped when he felt the kick. It was the first time he'd touch her since she got pregnant.
"Did you feel that?" She asked amazed, not realizing what that little moment did to him.
"Yeah." He said, totally forgetting for a while that although that baby was genetically his, he would have no rights as a father, and that Brennan was only his partner, not his wife. "It's amazing, Bones."
He also accompanied her to the third sonogram. Her car was getting fixed and he offered her a ride. He thought about waiting in the waiting room, but he couldn't resist when she asked if he wanted to enter with her.
"Oh, I guess you're the father." The friendly doctor said when she saw him sitting next to Brennan.
He looked at her not knowing what to say. What would he say? He was the father, but at the same time, he wasn't.
"He's my partner." Brennan said before he could answer anything. "And very good friend."
"Oh, I understand." The doctor nodded, not knowing what she really meant with that, but not daring to make any other comment about the situation. "This is going to be cold, Temperance…"
And the next thing he knew, their baby was on the monitor, jumping like a little kangaroo in its mother's uterus. His heart swollen and he felt the tears coming to his eyes. He wanted so much for all of that to be real. He wanted so much to be that baby's father. When its heartbeats filled the room, he couldn't hold back his tears. He made the best to hide them from Brennan, and if she noticed, she never commented it.
He never offered to go with her again after that day. Because it hurt him so much. Standing there, so close, and at the same time, so far from it. It was like his biggest dream had turned into his scariest nightmare.
But now, seeing how happy his partner was with the baby, he couldn't regret his decision. He loved her more than anything, and he knew he would do everything in his power to make her happy, even if her happiness meant his misery.
He was looking at her with teary eyes and had a goofy smiled plastered on his face when she saw him across the glass window. Her lips turned up immediately and she mouthed him to come in.
"Hey, Bones." He said shyly. He saw a big bouquet of flowers standing on the table and it hit him he didn't buy her anything. He was so desperate to see her that he'd completely forget to get her a gift. "I'm sorry… I came right from New York… I didn't- I didn't buy you anything on the way." He said suddenly very embarrassed.
It wasn't exactly true. He bought the baby tons of stuff, he just never let Brennan know about it. Sometimes he'd walk by a baby store and see such a cute blanket or the most adorable little dress that he couldn't resist buying. He didn't know the sex of the baby, but his guts told him it would be a little girl, so he bought it anyway. Maybe one day he could give it to Brennan as a gift. You know, like friends give to other friend's babies. Although that shirt with "Daddy's Little Princess" written with glitter he'd probably have to keep for himself.
"There's no problem." She said sincerely. All she wanted since she arrived in that hospital was to have him by her side. Once she realized what was happening and that he wasn't there with her, she started to freak out. Just then it hit her how weak she was without him around. It made her wonder if she really wanted to do that alone. And now looking at her innocent little girl, she knew she deserved the best in the world, and that included having Booth as her father and being a part of her life. "I just wanted you to be here." She admitted.
He walked closer to the bed and stopped at a spot where he could get a good view of the baby.
"She seems to be well-behaved." He smiled.
"Well, she demonstrated how strong her lungs are when she finally arrived and a few minutes ago before she was breastfed." Brennan told him. "But, yes, she seems to be quite calm once her needs are all covered."
"She's beautiful, Bones." He said mesmerized. The little girl looked like a doll. She was sleeping, so he couldn't see her eyes, but to him, she was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. Her tiny head was covered by dark hair and her little mouth looked like a pink rosebud. Her nose was a perfect replica of her mother's and every trace on her face was delicate.
"She looks like you." Brennan whispered without taking her eyes off the baby.
"You think?" He peeked over her shoulders, squinting trying to see himself in the child. "Well, I think she can deal with that, although, I think she looks more like you. She's so pretty."
"She has my nose and her eyes seem to be light – but it can change once she gets older." Brennan tilted her head a little bit. "But besides that, she's mostly you."
"Can I hold her?" He asked before he could stop himself.
"Of course." She smiled and passed him the baby carefully.
She watched him as he met his daughter for the first time. His arms were big and strong compared to the fragile infant, but Booth handled the situation as if he'd been holding a baby his entire life.
He just stared at the little girl for a long time, trying to memorize every part of her, every angle of her face. He stroked her cheeks and lifted her a little to kiss her forehead, being careful to not wake her up.
Looking at him treating that baby so tenderly, Brennan had no doubts he was born to be a father.
"Ou- " He corrected himself in time. "Your daughter… she's pretty awesome, Bones."
"Our daughter." She spoke so lowly she wasn't sure he'd listened to her, but then she noticed him freezing. "She's our daughter." She repeated, this time louder and raised her eyes to look at him - the big man with the tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket, looking like he couldn't believe in what she just said. Surprise, happiness, tears, love… she could see all in his eyes. "I don't want to do this alone, Booth."
"You- you will let me be her father?" His voice was starting to crack.
"I know I promised you you didn't have to be involved with the baby, but then I thought-" Brennan started to stutter, it was harder then she thought. What if he didn't want to be the father of her baby? "I thought it would be selfish of me not letting her have you in her life. You're the greatest man I've ever met, Booth. But I'll understand if you don't-"
"Nothing would make me happier in this world than being this little girl's father, Bones." He said, not feeling a bit ashamed of the tears that were now falling down his cheeks. "Nothing."
She smiled between her own tears and nodded her head, both of them in silence, not knowing what to say now.
"Did you name her yet?" He asked, still rocking the baby in his arms.
"No… I thought you'd like to help me with that." She confessed. Naming a child was something very important. She wanted Booth to help her make the perfect choice.
"Really?" He grinned like a little boy.
"Yes." She nodded. "Did you ever think of a name for a baby girl?"
He did. A lot, in fact.
"I've always thought that when I had a baby girl, I'd call her Claire." He said. "Like my Granny, Pops' wife. She was the sweetest woman you could ever meet, and she and Pops are my greatest memories from my childhood."
"Claire." Brennan tried it. "Claire Hope."
"Hope?" He asked surprised. "You're going to name your daughter after a feeling?"
"Yes." She smiled. "I've realized over the years that hope is something very necessary in our lives."
"Hope." He repeated and remembered Gordon Gordon's words for him once. Hope and patience. "It's a beautiful name, Bones."
"Claire Hope Brennan-Booth." She said out loud. "I like it."
"You're gonna let her have my name?" He asked surprised.
"You don't want her to?" She was suddenly worried. Maybe she was pushing him way too much?
"Of course I do!" He said quickly, his heart pounding in his chest. It's amazing how life can get so much better with only a few words from his partner. "I just… I wasn't expecting it." He was fighting back tears again when he sat next to her on the bed, their baby sleeping peacefully on his strong arms. "Thank you, Bones." He cuddled little Claire in one of his arms, wrapped the other around Brennan and kissed her temple.
"No…" She looked at him, at the baby, and back at him. "Thank you."
The little whimper coming from his arms caught his attention and he looked at his baby girl, who was slowly opening her eyes and trying to focus on the new face.
"Hi, baby girl." He said, shaken by the love he already felt for his daughter, and let her grab his finger with her tiny fist. "Welcome to this world, Claire Hope Brennan-Booth. It's not always a beautiful and happy place, sometimes you're going to witnessed sadness and sometimes you're going to feel like nothing is right, but we're going to do everything possible to protect you. But one thing I can promise you, sweetheart, you're going to be very, very loved."
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There it is. The fluff is out of my system.
I'd love if you left me a review with your thoughts. :)