Calling Duke a "stupid fat furry alarm clock" is unfair and will result in a scratched/bitten hand.
When Gavroche and Marie go up to their room to do their homework – they mean it because a seventeen-year-old and a twelve-year-old dating would be weird.
When Eponine, Cosette or Marie are PMS-ing/on their period, avoid antagonising them unless you want crushed testicles or a black eye.
All morning arguments should take place after Enjolras has had his first coffee of the day.
Interrupting Joly's morning bathroom routine will result in a forty five minute lecture on personal hygiene and how to care for your body.
Asking if Enjolras likes to be in charge in the bedroom is not funny even if it makes Courfeyrac and Eponine laugh until they can't breathe.
Don't call One Direction a "bunch of sexually confused boys" in front of Joly, Jehan and Marie.
When Bahorel has a 'guest' – don't interrupt them to ask if they'd like a condom or something to eat or drink. Mean Girls is not an example to be copied.
Waking someone up while you are drunk simply to tell them that you love them is only nice the first time.
If you are going to follow the previous rule – at least wear underwear.
Pinging Eponine or Marie's bra strap more than once will result in a black eye/the threat of castration.
If you arrive home and find Marie pacing anxiously and Combeferre nearly in tears do not ask how the driving lesson went.
Follow Joly's rules for putting food in the fridge to avoid tears and a thirty minute lecture on food hygiene.
The same applies for Enjolras' 'library system' unless you want to be bombarded with a minimum of twenty-five reasons why there is a 'library system'.
Reshuffling the medicine cabinet without telling Marie where you put her Fluoxetine will result in Grantaire threatening you with all manners of torture known to man.
When you see Enjolras and Marie talking alone – don't interrupt them. The marble man can be human sometimes.
Gavroche is not allowed to 'sit in' on poker nights while Eponine's out.
"Just checking whether Duke was in here" is not an acceptable excuse for searching someone else's room for porn.
Building a fort out of furniture with Gavroche is acceptable. Leaving it up overnight for Bossuet to fall over while fetching himself a midnight snack is not.
Just because Musichetta, Eponine, Cosette and Marie are women, their place is not always in the kitchen and any male caught saying so will fall victim to a punishment of the girls' choosing.
When Cosette's father comes to visit DO NOT leave Grantaire and Bahorel unsupervised.
All episodes of Glee on the Sky Plus box are not subject to deletion unless the deleter is willing to buy every series on DVD.
Game of Thrones is compulsory for everyone in the house.
Do not fight if Marie forces you to watch The Aristocats for the five hundredth time.
If Duke is asleep on your favourite seat, sitting on him is not going to solve anything.
All household members must comply with these rules. Sanctions and bans will be made for those who do not comply.