-------------------- In Repair ---------------------

Now it was out there.

No sex since Jeanne.

In a way, Tony was glad to have confessed it to someone — ex-hooker or not — but otherwise, nothing had changed.

He was still lonely.

He was still celibate.

He was still in love with Jeanne.

He was still unsure about that last part.

-------------------------------------------

"Your new issue of FMH has arrived," Ziva said flatly, without looking up from her desk, when Tony arrived at NCIS headquarters around 7 a.m. "The pictorial of 'Beltway Bailout Babes' should be of particular interest to you, Tony. There are many interesting and, quite frankly, physically impractical poses involving naked women and strategically-placed dollar bills depicted."

Without a word, Tony sat down at his desk, flicked on the small lamp next to his computer, logged on and began pulling up some old records on the doctor he'd been investigating when he was Agent Afloat on the USS Seahawk months before. He frowned, staring intently at the computer screen, completely ignoring Ziva — and the glossy issue of FMH carefully propped up against some of his desk toys — in the process.

"And what is the matter?" Ziva asked, furrowing her black brow as she studied him. "Did you make up the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

"I have work to do, Ziva," Tony said, quietly and rather curtly, opening his desk drawer to remove a pen and notepad. Squinting at the screen before him, he jotted down something on the pad from the file displayed.

Ziva, stung by Tony's uncharacteristic moodiness, said nothing and turned back to the work she had been busy with since her arrival at 5 a.m. Swallowing harder than usual, she sighed quietly and tried to focus on the NCIS-issued list of known terror suspects she'd been cross-checking against that sent over by CID. But she couldn't help sneaking a look at her partner across the way, wondering what — or whom — was bothering Tony so much that he was doing... actual work.

-------------------------------------------

"OK, so Sister Margaret Frances and this 300-pound behemoth guy in the trucker's league one lane over totally got into it about who was the better bowler? All I'm saying is, Bowling Rule 15 — 'Never Dare A Right-Handed Nun To Pick Up a 7-10 Split Left-Handed Because The Big Guy Upstairs? Totally On HER Side.'"

Abby sat on McGee's desk, excitedly detailing the previous night's action at the bowling alley for Ziva and Tim. Tony worked silently and expressionless at his desk, tapping the keys on his computer. Balling up a piece of scrap paper, Abby hurled it Tony's way with the precision of a big league strikeout artist. Ziva and McGee snickered when it banked off the side of Tony's head, bouncing onto the floor beside his desk. Cocking her head to the side, Abby smirked in Tony's general direction.

"Nice shot, Abby," McGee said with a smile. "Then again, Tony's head is so big, how could you miss?" He flashed a friendly, joking grin at Tony, waiting for the inevitable comeback.

Tony said nothing, continuing only to write his report and stare at the computer.

"Hey... I was kidding, Tony," Abby said, a worried tone coming into her voice. "You okay?" She got up and moved towards his desk.

Saying nothing, Tony quickly logged off, stood and pushed past Abby as he hurriedly strode to the elevator. Pressing the "down" button, he entered the car without looking at his colleagues and the doors closed behind him.

"I never knew my heater had such an effect on people," Abby said sadly as McGee came up behind her and softly rubbed her slim shoulders. "I need a hug, Timmy" she said, turning to snuggle in Tim's warm embrace.

Ziva's eyes, fixed on the closed, silvery elevator doors, narrowed as she folded her arms. "McGee, tell Gibbs I will return shortly."

"Where should I tell the boss you went?" Tim asked. "I mean, if he wants to know?"

"Out," Ziva said, heading for the elevator.

-------------------------------------------

"You are wearing your emotions on your shirt," Ziva said, visibly startling Tony as she approached him unseen from behind. "But you are hurting the people who care most for you."

Tony sat on the wooden bench, staring at the building across the street. His jaw tightened.

"How'd you know I'd be here?" he asked.

"This is where she worked. It is special to you."

"Was special."

"Is," Ziva corrected, softly.

Tony looked down. Drawing in a long breath, he exhaled slowly as he lifted his head and again considered the large structure opposite him.

"Was... Is... I'm not sure anymore."

"You loved her."

"I did. I thought."

"You did. You miss her."

"I did. I thought."

"You do."

"I have... missed her. I think."

"You had never been in love before."

"No. Maybe I wasn't, though, really."

Ziva took a minute to consider this. She, too, fixed her gaze on the building Tony was studying. People entered and exited its main doors with the regularity and bustle of ants servicing their queen.

"You were. You are afraid you will never love again."

Tony's eyes followed a slim woman wearing pink scrubs as she made her way out of the building. Her brown, shoulder-length hair was gently tossed aside by a breeze. The woman pushed it out of her face in an easy, casual way before turning the corner, disappearing out of Tony's sight.

"Yes."

Ziva, too, watched the young woman vanish in the distance as an ambulance, siren wailing, raced around the corner towards an entrance emblazoned with a bright red sign marked 'EMERGENCY'. A small group of people standing near the building watched as the paramedics hurriedly moved an elderly man wearing an oxygen mask through a set of automatic doors.

"You will."

-------------------------------------------

The camera phone picture wasn't perfectly clear but it was the best she had.

"He travels a lot. We do not often see each other but we keep in contact — e-mail, phone calls, whatever is easiest at the time."

"He's special to you."

"Yes. Of course."

"You miss him."

"I have... missed him."

"You love him."

"I do... Of course I love him." Ziva turned to look directly into Tony's eyes. "I love him as you loved Jeanne."

Tony studied her face, his wide blue eyes taking in every detail.

You're afraid you'll never love him, he thought. Then you will 'love' him — just like I 'loved' Jeanne.

You won't.

-------------------------------------------

"Sorry I've been acting like such an ass today," Tony said, the first hint of a slight smile crossing his face. "I'm gonna make McGeek pay for that 'big head' comment," he snarled teasingly.

"He is not wrong," Ziva playfully replied.

"And, oh yeah, ZEE-va," Tony continued as if she'd never spoken, "nobody MAKES UP the wrong side of the BED — or wears their emotions ON THEIR SHIRT." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "You were making such progress. Now you're making Palmer look cool by comparison. Shameful... Really shameful." Tony shook his head, feigning sadness.

"You are feeling much better," she said. "I am sure the new issue of FMH will be completely 'researched' this evening for any editorial errors."

"If an expose on 'Beltway Bailout Babes' is how the government plans to throw cash at the nation's financial crisis, here's hoping the economy goes totally in the tank," Tony said, flashing the famous DiNozzo grin as they walked away from the bench. The hospital entrance was suddenly free of people, the exception, Tony noted, being the girl in pink scrubs having returned with a man in blue scrubs. The couple kissed as the automatic doors opened. Strangely, he felt nothing.

-------------------------------------------

Back at the office, everyone was gone for the day — surprising both of them — and the office was uncharacteristically dark.

"I am glad you are in a better mood than you were this morning when we were here together - alone," Ziva said, getting her purse from her desk drawer. "And I hope that you know we are your friends, Tony, and we all care about you. We worry about you."

"We?"

"Yes. All of us."

Tony eyed Ziva as she fumbled for her car keys in her purse. She was acting atypically uncomfortable in his presence.

"I'll walk you to your car."

"Thank you, but I can manage, Tony. You have had a long day. You should go home and get some sleep."

"It wasn't a request." Tony offered her his arm. Ziva hesitated a moment, her eyes searching his face, before slowly twining her arm with his. She squinted slightly, swallowing hard, as they moved toward the elevator together. The scent of his cologne excited her.

Tony pushed the "down" button and they waited, arm in arm, staring silently at the silvery doors. When the elevator arrived, Tony waited politely as Ziva entered and he followed, again offering her his arm. She took it, this time more confidently.

"Did you drive today, Tony?"

"Took the Metro. Sat next to a guy eating a breakfast burrito with extra salsa. He was a spiller. Got all over him, not me, thank God. This is a new shirt."

"I noticed. It looks good on you."

"Thanks," Tony said. Then, leaning over to whisper in her ear, he added "It looks good off me, too."

Ziva smiled as the elevator doors closed.

-------------------------------------------

At the door, Tony felt as nervous as a teenager on a first date.

"Hey, thanks for the ride. I've honestly never felt so thankful to be, you know, alive."

"What is wrong with my driving?"

"What's RIGHT with it?"

"Gibbs has no problem with me behind the wheel."

"Consider the source."

They stared at each other, smiling, for a bit before Ziva finally broke the silence.

"You will be in early tomorrow? To work on whatever was so important to you today?"

"Be there at the crack of dawn. You know me."

"Dawn does not crack. It breaks."

"Same difference."

"Not exactly."

"You have plans Friday night?" Tony was surprised at his own forwardness. But it was out there now. He'd asked.

"No," Ziva said slowly. "I am free. Why?"

Tony looked down shyly before replying. "I was thinking... we could come back here, I could make dinner for you and ... we'd catch a couple movies? You know, to get you back up to speed before Palmer overtakes you." Tony's heart raced. This was harder than he remembered.

Ziva looked away, blushing. Suddenly, her cellphone buzzed. She didn't flinch.

"I would like that," she said, meeting Tony's gaze steadily with her own.

You will, he thought.

-------------------------------------------