Chapter One:

I walked in to the living room of our new house. I had barely lived in it two months, and I get a call from the Capitol announcing the Victory Tour coming up. The house was almost unbearably cold.

"Can I please light a fire?" asked Hearth, shivering. "It's cold in here!"

I gave him a blank look. "Fire? No. It's not cold; it's pleasant."

To be truthful, I hated the heat because it reminded me of the arena weather. Horribly hot. I hated the rain because I flinched every time a drop landed on me, as if I expected it to leave my skin swelling and almost suffocating me. I hated fires because the permanent image of lava, which had killed nearly 50% of the tributes at my personal Hunger Games, tormented the back of my mind.

Nothing would ever be normal.

"Victory Tour, huh?" said Hearth, trying to start a conversation.

I nodded silently.

"Cedric going?"

Another silent nod.

"You alright?"

Nod again. Words became superfluous. Ronan, Faren...Spiders. Tree-climbing rabbits.

"So, you a little nervous?"

Another nod. Heat, snakes, poison rain...

Hearth tried to bring me back to earth. He knew the blank look I had well by the two months we had been here in our 'amazing' Victor's Village house. "And we'll be able to go hunting again with mom! Can't wait, can you?"

I nodded. Hunting. Ariana. Drake. Kedric. Wolf muttations. Giant snakes. Giant spiders. Ronan and Faren. Poison rain. I screamed suddenly in fright, leaping out of my chair so fast that I fell backwards, knocking over the chair as well. Scrambling to the closest wall, I lifted the knife that I always had in my belt.

Hearth attempted calm me down. He spoke in slow, gentle tones, trying to keep me with my sanity.

I calmed eventually. This was driving me insane. I know that. Sometimes, I do what my mom tells me to do: I am Laurel Mellark. I am 16 years old. I won the 80th Hunger Games. I have a mother, a father, and a brother. My brother's name is Hearth. I'm from District 12...

It can go on and on and on. Sometimes, it's what I think about because I need something to think about other than the pain in my heart and the fear that torments my tortured mind.

I can hear what they say. Insanity, psychological issues, weak-minded, crazy, psycho... Only a few of the words that can describe me.

"Alden and Blythe are here!" shouted my mom's voice.

I turned towards the door, calming down from my thoughts. Alden rushed in with a warm smile, holding a plate of cookies in her hands. "You want some?" she asked.

I took one, nodding at her weakly. "Thanks."

Blythe patted my shoulder comfortingly. "No problem. Let's go for a walk."

We walked in silence. Generally, that's what they did when they visited. Suggested a walk, walk in silence. I'm sure my mom had warned them about me and my weak minded attitude of late.

This time, though, Blythe attempted conversation. "We haven't talked since...well, since you got back."

"Yeah."

Alden added cautiously, "You know, if you want to talk, we're here for you."

"Okay." I paused, watching the flowers in the garden. After a long moment, where Blythe and Alden began to turn away, expecting me to stay silent, I added reluctantly, "There is something. I'd like to talk about."

Alden and Blythe both smiled their identical smiles, their different colored eyes shining with relief. "We've been worried about you," Alden said, sitting next to me on the bench. Blythe sat at my other side.

"I'm going on the Victory Tour. Tomorrow. I need to ask you...ask you about...a guy." I grimaced even mentioning it, and tears started to threaten my eyes.

"Is this about Cedric?" asked Blythe.

I nodded, the tears almost reaching the brim. I said softly, "He walked away from me. I lost everybody." That was the most I had said since I had talked to Hearth two months ago at the return home.

"He loves you," Alden said quietly. "Our families are really good friends, and I've known Cedric for a long time. He hasn't talked much about anything since...since you got back. He's worried he lost you."

"How do you know?" I asked, my voice cracking with despair.

"He asked me if he could talk to me," Blythe said simply. "He didn't want to say much at first when I told him you and I were good friends. But after a while, he spilled everything, including the bits about how you were playing the crowd."

I felt my shoulders droop. My vision went blurry and I tried to force it clear, but I didn't have as much control over my mind as I used to. I gulped and whispered, "I lost him."

"Yes," Alden said evasively. "You did. But, maybe, he'll allow himself to be found."

We were silent for a long minute. Blythe asked, "Do you still have nightmares?"

"Every night," I replied, as if it was totally normal. Ever since the Games, it was. Every night, seeing the clouds that indicated the poison rain. Seeing Faren being squeezed to death by an abnormally large snake. Bunny squirrels attacking. Cedric. Losing Ronan. Ariana's death. Cedric disappearing into the dark and never finding him. Wolf muttations. Lava.

I am Laurel Mellark. I am 16 years old. I live in District 12. I won the 80th Hunger Games...

"Laurel, he does too." Blythe sighed softly.

"That's completely normal. My parents still have nightmares sometimes," I replied coolly.

Alden put her hand on my shoulder, turning me to face her. "He doesn't have just 'any' nightmares. He nightmares about losing you, although you did a royal job of losing yourself without his help."

I knew she was right. The comment stung, though. It sounded like something Haymitch would say. Yet, it was just what I needed to hear. With a slow nod, I stood up.

"You're right," I said, my voice quiet, yet stronger than it had been for a long time. "Sorry, I have to go pack and think about what to do about this."

Alden said quickly, "I'm sorry, Laurel, I didn't mean to be mean to you, it's just-"

"I understand."

"It's so horrible to see the both of you in so much pain," Blythe finished for Alden. "You both are so sad. We wanted to help, but..."

I patted Blythe's shoulder and sent them both a comforting look. I still couldn't even force myself to smile; it was much too painful. I wasn't sure I'd ever smile again. Yet, I said a quick goodbye and ran up the street to my house.

"Laurel!" Hearth said quickly, grabbing my arm.

I pulled away, whipping around to see him in shock, holding my arm to my chest.

"I'm sorry," Hearth apologized, remembering my fragile condition. "Mom and Dad said to pack. The train leaves in a couple hours."

I trembled a little in fear, remembering the feeling of being followed, pursued, and hunted. I gave a quick nod and rushed upstairs to pack.